PROLOGUE

Vulcan's suns were setting, coloring the red sky with vividly brilliant flashes of purple, green and gold. But Lorna, human wife of Sarek of Vulcan, wasn't watching the sky. Instead, she was looking at a beautifully symmetrical tree, which was sheltered by the fortress-like house behind her - a tree somewhat like an Earth maple, but bearing flowers of a distinctive shape and hue.

Lorna frowned and clenched her teeth, forcing back the tears, which burned behind her eyes. Yielding to her emotions wouldn't do any good.

The Leeithutt, the blue rose tree, which had been transplanted to Vulcan from Mauretania, was dying; that's all there was to it. Nothing that she'd tried, nothing that the best botanists on Vulcan had tried had helped. Although the tree had thrived for several bloomings, now its leaves were spotted with dark brown patches and were curling up around the edges. Only a few flowers grew where once there had been a riot of perfect, sapphire-hued roses. Indeed, it seemed that the more disturbed and worried she became about the tree, the faster the blight spread.

It was foolish to become so upset over a tree - but this was no ordinary tree. Lorna considered the blue rose tree a symbol of her marriage - in fact, it had been a wedding gift from her husband....

She looked up into the rapidly darkening sky, her eyes gleaming with defiance. "The Leeithutt is dying, and nothing seems to be able to save it. That, I can accept. But my marriage also seems to be withering away, and that I can't accept. There must be something that I can do. I won't give up without a fight. I absolutely won't!"

However, the stars that were appearing in the sky brought no message; no voice spoke from the nothingness. Instead, she felt a sensation of deep foreboding. There were no clouds in the sky, naturally, yet she felt as though a cold shadow had just passed over her - a presentiment hinting of even greater unhappiness ahead.

Though that uncanny mental talent of hers wasn't suited for precognition, there were times that Lorna experienced definite "hunches." This was one of those times. Trouble was brewing somewhere, and it was heading her way. She knew that as surely as she knew that she was standing upon the soil of a world that was definitely not her native Earth....

CHAPTER ONE

A trader carrying items always needed by planetary colonists was passing by a previously undeveloped star system when it spotted a manned interstellar vessel definitely from that system returning to it - and followed by a very well-screened Klingon ship. Immediately the trader assumed a flight path, which paralleled the Klingon vessel and sent a curt message:

"Federation Trader HFM-403 - to Klingon ship. I evoke Clause B1716, Paragraph 13 of the Organian Treaty and demand that you make a complete report to me immediately."

No response.

"Let me remind you that I'm in constant contact with the Federation Star Base in this sector - and they can have a fleet of ships on your tail in less than ten minutes!"

"This is Korel, Tarlokarne of the Karam. We acknowledge the Treaty. Set your automatic receiver. We will send all our available data to your library computer at once."

Seconds later, the computer began to hum, accepting the data. The simultaneous printout confirmed that Federation Trader HFM-403 had encountered something, which could easily become a galactic powder keg:

When this system had first been charted, it had been too primitive for either the Federation or the Klingons to develop. Therefore, the two powers had divided the system equally between themselves and then had left it to develop normally, never bothering to explore beyond what their instruments had told them.

Two of the inhabited planets were at the same level of development and were able to invent a version of the wireless at the same time. It hadn't taken them long to discover each other. Since they hadn't reached the level where they could fire weapons off their planetary surfaces, they had achieved a friendly relationship and had forged treaties of interdependence instead. Each world had engaged in an exchange of information, supplementing and pooling knowledge which had enabled each world to achieve the equivalent of 20th Century technology in only a few of their decades.

When they finally achieved interplanetary travel and had begun a steady exchange of goods and personnel, their progress became phenomenal. While they were still at the late 20th Century level, they reached the age of manned interstellar travel - ready to take their place with the Federation and the other civilizations inhabiting this galaxy.

Explorations by instrument had indicated that there was an abundant supply of nearly pure dilithium upon the moons of both worlds. The interstellar craft developed by these worlds used an entirely different type of fuel, however, one that was abundant on their worlds but rare everywhere else. They didn't need the dilithium. Now that they'd entered their interstellar age, they'd probably be glad to let other civilizations have access to their supplies of this vitally important fuel.

However, there was one problem. When this system had been divided by the Federation and the Klingon Empire, an imaginary line had been drawn right down the middle. As a result, one third of each planetary body's revolution about the binary placed it in the outermost edges of Federation territory. A second one third placed it in Neutral territory. The final one third placed it on the outskirts of Klingon territory.

These facts indicated that the division of the dilithium could create a potentially nasty situation. The pilot of the trading ship lost no time in reporting this information to the nearest Star Base. The official there lost no time in referring the matter to the closest Vulcan Consulate. They, in turn, lost no time in agreeing that this problem could be solved only by the talents of a highly skilled diplomat....

CHAPTER TWO

Ambassador Sarek laid aside the report he'd been studying, rubbed his eyes to relieve the natural strain of much prolonged reading then glanced over to see what his wife was doing.

Working, of course, working hard. What else? Working competently, and with the same degree of skill, which her unique talent brought to most tasks that she attempted.

Sensing that he was watching her, she looked up, the corners of her mouth lifting in a slight smile - permissible because they were alone.

"Is your work progressing well, my wife?" he asked courteously.

"Yes, my husband. I shall have the population/land ratios finished by the time you need them," she replied. She returned to her task, shutting out all external distractions with a concentration difficult for most humans - doubly difficult for her because she had originally come from 20th Century Earth.

But now my era has become Lorna's as well, he thought. She has filled the void Amanda's death had left in my life. Lorna has brought a contentment and a quiet joy that I never anticipated experiencing again.

Involuntarily, his memory turned back to those days when he and Lorna were first wed. (Star Trek Showcase, "The Misfit" printed 1974.)

How the Enterprise had hummed and buzzed when the crew had learned that the place Lorna Mitchell had found for herself after becoming trapped in this era was as wife to Sarek of Vulcan! There had been several who had wondered if he had married her because she had saved his life, because he had felt a sense of obligation toward her. Most, however, had realized that he had married her because, Vulcan though he was, he loved her.

Actually, only the Senior Officers had known how deeply he loved her, but it was now common knowledge throughout the Federation that he had again chosen a Terran woman as his consort - a marriage, which was apparently as successful as his first had been.

However, there had been problems. It was difficult for a human to live in the non-emotional environment of Vulcan. But Lorna had possessed one advantage that the average human didn't. Sarek and Spock had voluntarily engaged in a three-way mind-meld to save her life. During the process, personality patterns and traits characteristic of Vulcans had been superimposed upon her mind, permanently, making her - to her occasional dismay - a blending of Vulcan and human.

Yet, she wasn't even half-Vulcan, like Spock. She was adapting very well, but Sarek found himself ever called upon to overlook her improprieties. The latest had been when she had asked the Vulcans' Minister of Foreign Affairs if he were married and had any children. Sarek still shuddered at the memory, both for the Minister's shock and for Lorna's horrified dismay at her blunder - though she had made an excellent recovery: "I beg forgiveness, sir. According to the customs of my world, such a question indicates courtesy. Here on Vulcan, such a question is considered an invasion of privacy. I trust that you will make allowances for our individual differences?"

Yes, Lorna made many mistakes; in spite of them, though, he loved her deeply.

His dark eyes glowed with mingled pride and amusement as he remembered the first time that T'Pau had condescended to honor the fact of their marriage by coming under their roof as a guest. She'd been quite insistent about seeing him first - alone. He had gone to his study to greet her instead of standing in the great hall with Lorna, as he'd wished. However, he'd instructed Lorna to join him within a very few minutes, for he wanted T'Pau to understand that Lorna was his choice - no matter what. He had answered T'Pau's objections with unshakable logic then, to his secret delight and satisfaction, Lorna herself had settled the matter. When T'Pau had asked him how his human wife was adapting to the customs of Vulcan, he had replied that she could ask Lorna in person - for she had been in the room for several minutes. This had startled T'Pau, for the ruler had long been renown for her ability to keep track of humans in her vicinity without employing a mind-touch - without even seeing them. However, Lorna had entered the room without a ripple, and this ability had certainly aroused T'Pau's interest. Lorna had then greeted T'Pau in the best approved tradition and had answered her many questions with all the calm and decorum of a true Vulcan wife. Indeed, it hadn't taken Lorna long to...what was the Terran phrase? ...ah yes, to 'win T'Pau completely to her camp.' Now, T'Pau was as strongly in favor of their union as she had been opposed when Sarek had first informed her that he had again chosen a human woman to be his consort.

It certainly hadn't been easy for Lorna. She'd experienced the usual difficulties of any being from a world with a moon now living on a world without one. The increased gravity had also been a problem, though the rooms in the house, which had been installed for Amanda, had been equally acceptable to Lorna. Time had solved one of these problems; Lorna was adapting to the gravity and the atmosphere of Vulcan. The outward physical changes weren't that apparent, for she needed no extremely large lungs to glean the oxygen she needed. It was no worse than living in the high Andes on Terra, well within human limits, given time and modern medication. Also, her skeletal structure had increased fractionally to help withstand the pull of the heavier gravity. She still looked much like she had when she had first stepped upon the planet. Therefore, the looks of surprise from Outworlders who insisted upon shaking hands with her were interesting experiences. Even very strong men had been known to wince when Lorna responded to their ceremonial handshakes while forgetting, that her own strength had increased.

Her worst problems, however, had been created by the differences in the length of the days, and in the absence of a moon. She had been brave and uncomplaining about the many discomforts these difficulties caused. He would have known nothing about them if her physical cycle hadn't been disturbed and if she hadn't been troubled by nightmares. How many times had he soothed her when she'd cried out in her sleep? How often had he held her nestled in his arms and clinging to him to confirm the security that he represented...? Of late, not very often. In fact, during recent months, not at all, and he could not deny that he missed this intimacy.

But he was being unfair. Lorna worked hard trying to be all that he expected - both as the wife of a Vulcan and as the wife of an Ambassador. The only time she had refused to accept his guidance had been when he had continued to add the Vulcan prefix "T'", to her name:

"You called me T'Lorna as an indication that you'd welcomed me into your home and into your heart, Sarek. I appreciate that, and I love you for it. However, I prefer the name that was given to me on my own world. Indeed, I insist upon it, as my right. Someday, I may earn a Vulcan name. Until then, please allow me to retain and treasure this proof of my human identity."

Naturally, he had respected her wishes in this matter.

In her human way, Lorna was all that he could wish - and more, for her unique telepathy had enabled her to stand at his side as his companion and helpmeet, even in his chosen profession. How gradually that had happened.... She had made no demands, had merely asked questions here or had silently supplied a needed bit of information or assistance there...assuming more and more responsibility and authority. Then, at the height of a crucial negotiation being held on Babel, Sirluk, Sarek's Chief Assistant, had suffered the equivalent of a coronary and had died before help could be summoned.

Sarek could still remember the sensation of deep inner joy that he'd experienced when Lorna had stepped into the breach so swiftly that no one had had time to question the suitability of her action. She had then meshed so smoothly into the team that their task had been accomplished much faster and far more successfully than they had anticipated. Everyone had been surprised to discover that Lorna was much more formidable than she'd appeared to be. Of course, Sarek had known that she possessed these capabilities, but she'd actually startled him by revealing this potential so soon.

We have achieved a balance desired by most married couples but granted to only a few. Since we have no children, Lorna is not hampered by the responsibilities and duties involved in their care.... True, she has expressed willingness to accept a child provided by the Science Academy. How clouded with hurt her eyes became when I told her that it is not yet time. However, as long as I continue to sense that all is not as it should be between us, I cannot agree to the responsibility of a child. He sighed, feeling an unfamiliar sense of defeat. The underlying currents of emotion would seriously interfere with a child's development. Yet, I cannot identify the source of these difficulties. I treat Lorna as she has given indication that she wishes to be treated, but I know that something more is needed. What could it be? I am at a loss.... Illogical! My life with Amanda surely taught me to understand what a human woman needs. Lorna is no longer completely human mentally, however, and her needs are not the same as Amanda's.... This is irrelevant. I must put these thoughts aside until a more appropriate time.

He reached for another report.

***

Lorna had finished computing the figures that Sarek needed. She looked up intending to tell him so then realized that he was engrossed in another report. Silently, she rose and laid the list of figures close to his hand then she resumed her seat behind her own desk, propped her elbows up on its dark surface, and rested her head against her palms as she gazed at her husband.

Oh, Sarek, what's wrong with us? She thought, feeling quiet desperation. I can see that our marriage is dying - just like my beautiful blue rose - and I'm totally helpless to prevent either disaster!

Was it possible her emotions were getting the best of her? Perhaps she was just imagining that something was undermining the very foundations of their marriage. She worked at her husband's side, sharing every aspect of his chosen profession, and she accompanied him on every mission - almost as his second self. How many wives could say the same?

She had considered all the facts very carefully and was confident that she'd accepted the painful truth that motherhood would be a highly unlikely event in her life. Yet, she knew that she would agree to retire from her work for the necessary interval if Sarek should ever express a desire to request that the Academy provide a child for them. Most likely, he would be content with the son that he already had, but Lorna knew that she'd be thrilled if he wanted a child with her genes as well. However, Sarek constantly evaded or ignored her suggestions about the Academy; eventually, she had stopped pressing the issue. After all, she had her work to keep her occupied - though sometimes her work seemed to crowd her life too much.

It wasn't unusual for them to work eighteen or more hours at a stretch before returning to their home for a brief rest - more for her benefit than for his - and a change of garments. Sarek had suggested that they maintain a wardrobe and spartan sleeping quarters at the office; she had made a counter-suggestion, reminding him that humans needed a brief respite from work periodically - that such a respite would enable her to function at a more efficient level. Sarek had found that this applied equally well to him, though she could never get him to admit it. However, it had soon become their custom to return to the house after dark to rest and then to go back to work as soon as possible after the suns had risen.

Lorna hadn't found it easy to adjust to such a demanding schedule. However, she understood why it was possible for him to forget everything else except his work until/unless it was done. In that respect, male creatures seemed to be very much alike throughout the galaxy. Therefore, once the "glow" of the newlywed days had ebbed and they had turned their attention to more mundane matters, Lorna had made every effort to behave as a Vulcan wife would and should. When Sarek had become immersed in his work, Lorna had not pouted, accused him of not loving her any more, nor tried to lure him away from his desk to spend time with her. Instead, she had learned to occupy herself with work also. Eventually, she had become as adept in this practice as he was.

Good Lord! She gasped soundlessly. I've just realized.... There are times when we, work side-by-side for several days at a time without exchanging a word or even a glance.

Maybe that was part of the problem - though she was with her husband more than the average wife would be, didn't she feel lonely sometimes?

Lonely for Sarek? She asked herself. God, yes! How long has it been since we've had time just to be with each other, to look at one another to - touch one another?

Sarek's touch - those long fingers reaching out in the Vulcan kiss.... When they were in public and he wished to call her to his side or to escort her to meet still another official, he extended his fingers.... When had they had the opportunity or the time for him to do it just because he enjoyed it?

It hadn't been like that before Sirluk had died.... She recalled those difficult days before her system had become accustomed to Vulcan's moonless, tideless gravity, before her nerves and body had accepted the difference in the length of the days. She'd experienced such horrible nightmares - nightmares in which she had felt herself falling through bottomless chasms or lying with tons of weight pressing against her chest until she had had to scream or suffocate.

Each time, that beautiful voice had spoken her name, calling her out of the darkness. Then, strong arms had come about her to shield her from the forces that had seemed to be trying to tear away her very life. She'd opened her eyes to see that well-loved face bending above her and those dark eyes shining in the glow of the dim light - installed because a human wife couldn't see in the dark as well as could her Vulcan husband. Never once had he scolded her for crying out in her nightmares; instead, he'd understood, and he'd cradled her in those great arms until sleep had come again, soothing her, loving her, healing her pain. It would be worth the unpleasantness to endure another one of those horrible dreams if it meant that she would be held in those strong, yet tender arms....cradled against that broad chest...wrapped in the security of his love. How childish! She knew he loved her; why did she keep wanting tangible proof of it?

When Vulcans marry they are bound by some sort of subliminal, constant mental contact, she reminded herself. Perhaps that's why they don't practice the casual physical contact that human husbands and wives share. I felt something when Sarek and I were betrothed and then while T'Pau was joining us in our marriage ceremony.... If that's anything like the Vulcan bonding then - then it's much better than casual physical contact. I experience a mild form of that bonding whenever Sarek and I join, but - I can't keep it. I wonder if Sarek could possibly teach me...? No! He doesn't know.... Sometimes I think he may sense that there is a - a separation, but I suppose he assumes it's my natural mental barrier against an invasion of my thoughts. He'd never intrude, not even to attempt to create a true bonding. In fact, he probably can't establish one with me.

She sighed and put her hands over her eyes, twisting and turning her shoulders in an effort to ease the dull ache that throbbed between her shoulder blades.

***

Though Lorna's sigh had been soft, Sarek heard it, and he looked up quickly. Lorna had put her hands over her eyes and was evidently trying to ease a feeling of tension in her shoulders. He felt an illogical impulse to get up and go over to rub her back for her. In fact, he started to rise, but she dropped her hands, picked up another folder, and resumed her work. No, he wouldn't disturb her; apparently, she didn't need him.

He continued to watch her, the slightest suggestion of a frown appearing between his slanted eyebrows. Was that it? Was it possible that she didn't need him any longer? Impossible. They had been joined irrevocably when she'd melded her mental forces to his to keep him alive during that long vigil on Aries XI Therefore, she "needed" him as much as he "needed" her. Besides that, they loved each other.

Perhaps things weren't quite the same between them now as it had been during the early days of their marriage - but then, doesn't everything change? Sometimes he wished that they could have more time just to be together so they could enjoy one another's company as they'd done before Sirluk had died. Yet, he knew that was an unreasonable and selfish, wish. After all, they were working together in the same room, and each knew that the other was there.

Interesting! Sarek commented to himself. Five times during the past three standard months we have worked side-by-side for ten days without exchanging a word or even a glance. Amanda never hesitated to inform me that she considered such a situation undesirable, but Lorna has never complained. She understands that work must be completed before one can seek rest and recreation.

The sternness of his features softened briefly as he thought of some of the types of "rest and recreation" he'd enjoyed with Lorna. But then he frowned and swiftly rebuked himself for his lack of dedication to his work.

He leaned back in his seat and looked up at the ceiling. Unfortunately, the answers to his questions weren't written there. Indeed, there probably were no problems. Their marriage conformed to all the rules which custom and tradition had dictated, didn't it? However, instead of the glorious symphony of mind and spirit that it should be, their union was more like a performance of Fahndoz' Ode to the Eternal performed with one zithram .1,000,000 of a tone off-pitch. A fault detectable, but impossible to locate, remedy, and revise to obtain the original perfection of the composition.

A well, Sarek sympathized with himself, I knew from previous experience that I would encounter difficulties while living with an emotional being in an intimate relationship. There were many things that I had hoped to achieve with Lorna because of her unique mental powers, but they have not come - as yet. We do not know the deep joy that was ours when we were first wed, but we at least have the peace of knowing that each is important to the other. I shall have to be content with that.

The report that Lorna had placed on his desk caught his attention. He reached out, to pick it up and studied it. Perfect, there was no reason to stop her in her work and discuss it with her.

So having convinced himself that the uneasiness he felt was just a foolish notion, Sarek bent to his work again.

***

It was hot, even for a Vulcan afternoon, and Lorna couldn't ignore her discomfort any longer.

"Sarek, I'm thirsty. Do you want me to bring you something to drink also?"

No answer. He was totally buried in his work.

Nothing unusual about that. However, she'd learned that whenever she felt thirst and brought something for him to drink as well, he rarely refused it. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen him drink any water all day - and there was no ritual reason for abstinence. Probably he'd just been too busy to think of it, but his system needed fluids as much, as hers did.

Now that the idea had entered her mind, she knew she wouldn't be able to put it aside. She rose and went to get a covered vessel that rested on a side table. Cool beads had formed on its surface, feeling delightful against the skin of her hands as she picked it up and removed the cover. Good! Filled to the brim, not, with the actual cubes of ice in it that she craved, but kept to almost tooth-aching coolness by the unusual construction of the vessel. She filled two crystal clear tumblers then carried one back to Sarek's desk and touched the back of his hand with it. Without looking, he reached up to take the tumbler, drank then handed it back to her, and resumed his work without speaking a word.

Couldn't you have at least said 'Thank you?' Lorna glared at him for a moment then a wry smile tugged at her lips. No, why should you? To a Vulcan, drinking the water is thanks enough.

She stood looking down at Sarek, longing to reach out and run her hand over his gleaming hair. Better not. It'd be her luck for one of his many aides to step in, and she hated to think of the expression that would be in said aide's eyes if he caught her doing such a thing. Yet.... What would it hurt? If Sarek looked up at her right now, she'd do it, and never mind the consequences!

He didn't look up. She frowned, and felt a brief pang of envy. If only she could influence him to do something that they both wanted.... No, that power went only one way, his - and he hadn't used it for quite some time now. Which indicated what? Had she advanced far enough in their marriage and in learning the Vulcan way that he didn't have to use that power any more - or had he given up on her?

The intercom sounded, and she reached out swiftly to answer it.

"Lady Lorna, I have an urgent message for both of you from Star Fleet Command," came their secretary's voice.

"I am here," Sarek said quietly. "Play the tape."

The secretary, a perfectly trained young Vulcan male, responded tonelessly, "The message is not taped. It is being delivered via live transmission from Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise."

"The Enterprise!" Lorna exclaimed, her eyes widening. Her husband's eyebrows also rose for, insofar as they both knew, the Enterprise was supposed to be on a routine charting mission several parsecs away.

"Put it on visual, Sannel," Sarek ordered, opening the cabinet in which their huge screen was concealed.

The screen brightened and swirled with many colors then it cleared to reveal the image of the dynamic young Captain of the Enterprise.

"Captain Kirk," Sarek raised his hand in the Vulcan salute. "Peace and long life, to you, and to the members of your crew."

Then, after the few seconds required for sub-space transmission through the vast distances that still lay between the ship and Vulcan:

"Ambassador Sarek. Lady Lorna. Live long and prosper. I bring you greetings from Star Fleet; the Federation and, naturally, everyone on the Enterprise."

"You were on a charting mission near Cygnus X, Captain. What is bringing you here?"

"Do you have your screen set on Code 8 Scrambler?"

"Naturally."

"Then listen...." Kirk described the problem that Trader Ship HFM 403 had discovered.

"So, the Organians prefer to remain silent," Sarek murmured at last. "I had hoped that this matter would be urgent enough for them to take action."

"Evidently you've heard about this matter already, Ambassador?" Kirk asked.

"There has been some discussion of the subject," agreed Sarek. "Why are you coming to Vulcan, and why have you called us so far in advance of your arrival?"

"We're going to need the best diplomat in the Federation to handle this problem, Ambassador. The Council took a vote and agreed that this mission must be offered to you, first. Of course, if you have been commissioned for something more important...?"

Captain Kirk was just being polite. He knew full well that Sarek wasn't involved in anything that couldn't be put aside for something like this!

"I see. You did say, however, that the Council was offering this mission to me - first. There are other possibilities?"

"Yes. Shras of Andoria is one candidate. Zandor of Parnassua is the other."

"Both are skilled, yet neither have the advantage that we possess.... The rumor was correct, was it not, Captain? Except for their development of interstellar travel, the two worlds are similar to 20th Century Earth?"

"Almost like the late 1960's and the early 1970's, sir."

Like my own former time? Lorna clasped her hands over her wildly beating heart. No! I can't stand.... Stop it, Lorna! You've visited dozens of worlds with cultures at all levels of development. You knew something like this would happen eventually, so why go into a panic now? Face up to it. You're afraid to encounter anything like your former world. Why, I'll bet that's why things aren't going well between you and Sarek. It's quite possible that these fears are helping to undermine the foundations of your marriage!

"Captain, I understand the Council's reasoning in offering this mission to us, first," Sarek continued. "However, it might be best for us to remain on Vulcan at this time...."

"My husband," Lorna interrupted boldly. "May I speak with you, in private, for a moment?"

Sarek blanked the transmission and turned to her, eyebrow lifted inquiringly.

"Please don't refuse this mission on my account," she demanded. "I'm willing to go - even though those worlds can awaken old memories.... You've taught me to face whatever awaits me - surely this won't be too much more difficult than some of our other missions?"

"There are...other reasons why I would prefer to stay on Vulcan at this time, my wife."

"What?"

"They are none of your concern right now," he replied firmly.

"Are they of importance equal to that of this mission?"

"No," he admitted reluctantly after a brief pause.

"Then we, really haven't any choice," Lorna insisted. When he didn't reply, she reached out to touch the switch. "Captain. We accept the mission. You apparently have been ordered to transport us to the twin worlds. When must we be ready to leave?"

"You are accepting the mission, Ambassador?" Kirk's eyes had lighted up with relief, but he had an annoying habit of needing confirmation from the chief male of any delegation that he was transporting.

"My wife has told you our answer, Captain." There was a swift flicker of something akin to disappointment and -- yes --reluctant admiration in his eyes as he looked at his wife.

"Very well. We'll reach Vulcan shortly after your dawn tomorrow." Kirk looked at something beyond the range of the camera. "It will take two Vulcan days to complete all formalities... Will that be enough time for you to get ready to leave?"

"More than enough time, Captain. I presume that you and the usual party will beam down to our home tomorrow and share our evening meal?"

"Thank you for the invitation, Ambassador. We accept, with pleasure. Kirk out."

And the screen went blank.

"Sarek, why are you angry with me?" Lorna asked when his silence showed no signs of ending.

"Vulcans do not 'get angry,' Lorna."

Her eyes gleamed with delightful memories. "So you told me after you'd scared me half out of my mind one time on the Enterprise. However, I sense that you weren't exactly enthusiastic about accepting this assign-.... I did it again, didn't I? I mean - you would have preferred it if someone else went on this mission?"

Sarek gave the Vulcan equivalent of a shrug. She continued, probing for a definite answer: "Why should you wish to remain, Sarek? I can think of nothing that would be so vital here at this particular time."

My wife, how could you? Sarek thought, turning his head to glance at the date record lying open on his desk. That is something I kept from you, even during our bonding. It is a matter that we do not willingly discuss with anyone, even those closest to us, until we must. What good would it have done to tell you that I wanted to remain here, because it is nearly time for the Blooming - that I had hoped that the influence of those flowers might reverse my infertility?" He sighed softly. No, even in this, duty and responsibility must come first, for there is always the Academy. There is no logical reason for me to remain on Vulcan.

"You are right, my wife," he said aloud. "I was concerned that you might experience distress in this encounter with cultures so much like your former one."

"If I do, I'm sure that you'll help me conquer it," she replied. "Oh, Sarek, there's no getting out of it; you're the best person for the job!"

"True," he said bluntly. It wasn't egotism, merely a statement of fact. To emphasize the fact that there was no use discussing the matter any further, he picked up a stack of folders and left the room.

Lorna stood where he'd left her, wondering if she hadn't made things worse in her efforts not to stand in the way of his work. Perhaps he wasn't angry with her, but she had the uneasy feeling that he was disappointed about something - what? Surely he hadn't been offended because she had told Captain Kirk that they would accept the mission? No. After all, she worked at his side as his helpmeet and companion, and he had given her such an equal voice in every decision that she was more truly liberated than any woman of her former era could ever dream of being. Besides, if he'd not been willing to accept the mission, he would have told the Captain so instead of confirming what she'd told him.

Probably I'm imagining things again. She assured herself. Or else I'm trying to find justification for feeling that something is definitely wrong with our marriage. I wish I knew why our marriage isn't quite all that I'd hoped it would be.... Oh well, I've never seen a marriage that didn't have problems! Why should ours be any different? I'd be foolish to trade what I have for an even worse problem.

She went to her desk and began to clear it then she looked at her own date record, making notes of instructions for the secretary to cancel all her appointments. When that was finished, she laid the stylus down and sighed. Though she'd told herself only a short while before that she felt as though she were in a rut and that she'd scream if something didn't happen to break the routine, this hadn't been what she'd had in mind.

Was a constant routine of work, work, and more work going to make up her life from now on? If so then there was absolutely nothing to look forward to.... If only she could return to those wonderful days when she and Sarek had first been married. Perhaps she should stay at home and just be Sarek's wife...? That would be no solution - merely a retreat. If she stayed home, she'd see far less of him than she did now! For, as she'd feared, he apparently had reverted to the Vulcan way completely. He seemed to be losing the sensitivity and the understanding that had won her - but such changes had to be expected after marriage. A mature woman should accept those changes and make the best of them, no matter how she felt inwardly.

Sometimes I'd like to kick over the traces and just tell Sarek how I feel! She thought angrily. But, what good would that do? I'm confident that it's my fault - that's why I keep all these feelings and thoughts shielded during our deepest communications.... Yet, sometimes, I've caught him looking at me with something closely akin to puzzlement. Perhaps he might be more than willing to try to make things better between us, if he only knew what was wrong and how.... No, that's just wishful thinking. I'm going to have to try harder to become the wife that he needs, and I'm going to have to do it on my own. I refuse to hurt him!

She had forgotten what she'd heard Captain Kirk say once: That she should avoid making herself miserable by trying to forget that she was originally fully human.

"My wife," Sarek had come back into the room, moving with his usual silence. "Finish gathering your work. The aircar is waiting to take you home."

"Oh, Sarek! You are angry with me."

"Lorna, you are being unreasonable. I have already told you that I am not angry. I always send you home to wait when the Enterprise is due to arrive. You have never been able to learn to keep your mind upon your work when you know that your former shipmates are coming to visit us."

But his eyes were warm with unspoken amusement as he spoke, so she grinned ruefully.

"Am I really so bad, Sarek?"

"No. It is one of the Joys of my life with you to be able to welcome your friends into our home. It does not happen too often."

For one brief moment, it almost seemed as though he were going to give her a goodbye kiss, but an aide chose that moment to step into the room.

Now, that was more like the Sarek I fell in love with! Lorna told herself happily as she left the building. Maybe things aren't as hopeless as I first thought!

Though Sarek wouldn't have expressed it in exactly the same words, if someone had asked him his frame of mind after Lorna went out the door, he would have said that he viewed the future with more optimism.

He'd come to look forward to these visits from the crew of the Enterprise - if nothing else, they gave him time to reinforce the new relationship with his son and to gain new insights into differential human psychological-emotional patterns. Lorna had become almost as Vulcan as she was human, but her stamina and endurance were apparently renewed after she'd spent time with her own kind.

In fact, she had told Sarek once that the freely expressed emotions of her former shipmates were like "food for her soul." He wasn't sure what she meant by that - exactly - but he did admit that the change was good for her. There was no doubt that after such visits she seemed more like her old self for a brief period of time.

For that reason alone, if not for any other, he always encouraged such visits - hoping in vain that one day the change in Lorna would be permanent.

CHAPTER THREE

Captain James T. Kirk stared at his door and frowned. Who in the Blazes could want to see him this early? It was barely "dawn" aboard ship, and only the night crew knew that they'd already assumed Standard Orbit over Vulcan.

"Come in."

The door slid open to admit Doctor Leonard McCoy, Chief Surgeon.

"Mornin', Jim. Sorry to bother you so early. I wanted to catch you before you got snarled up in all the red tape planet-side."

"Problems, Bones?"

"Nope. Special favor to ask."

"Such as?" Kirk's eyes gleamed, with mischief, for he suspected what Bones wanted.

"Everythin's runnin' smoothly in Sick Bay, and the youngsters on call can take care of the hangnails and blisters. I've managed to catch up on all my reports, for once. If you don't need me for anything, I'd like to beam down early."

"Why, Bones! Don't tell me you found a nice Vulcan girl the last time you were on Shore Leave here?"

"You might say that.... I believe it might be a good idea to beam down ahead of the rest and see if Lorna might need somebody to talk to."

"Ahuh, I, thought that's who you had in mind. Bones, the last time we were here, I thought she didn't seem quite her old self. It wasn't just in my mind, was it?"

"Afraid not. Somethin's really botherin' her, Jim. Since I'm about the closest thing to a father she's got now, she might be more inclined to talk to me than she would anybody else."

"When do you want to leave?"

"Scotty says he can squeeze me in with a load of cargo he's beamin' down to the main spaceport in about fifteen minutes. I can catch an aircar from there and be at the house ten minutes later."

"Then, you'd better get going. Oh, give Lorna my love, will you? And tell her the rest of us will be beaming down at the usual time for dinner."

"Right, Jim."

***

Early morning on Vulcan was hardly a quiet affair. Thousands of silver birds were wheeling and dipping in the cloudless sky, trilling their greeting to the triple suns.

Lorna was just returning from seeing Sarek off to the city, feeling a bit downcast. Except for the usual finger-touch, Sarek's goodbye had been as impersonal as it had been for the past several months - almost as though that brief tenderness in the office the night before hadn't happened.

She paused beside the Leeithutt and examined the leaves hopefully. Nothing had changed - except that the leaves were a bit browner and much dryer.

An aircar pulled to a stop at the entrance to the grounds and a tall figure wearing a blue tunic and black trousers got out, paid the driver then stood watching as the car sailed away.

"Len!" Lorna cried. Totally delighted by his unexpected appearance, she rushed pell-mell toward him.

He turned swiftly when he heard her voice then he spread his arms wide and planted his feet to catch her close when, she reached him, hugging her as enthusiastically as he might, his daughter, Joanna - perhaps even more so, for he always, felt a bit put off by Joanna's poise and coolness whenever they chanced to meet.

"Well, now!" His Southern accent had become quite apparent. "If I'd known I was gonna' get a greetin' like that, I'd have come sooner!"

"Oh! I was so glad to see you, I forgot...." Lorna pulled back and away from him, casting a swift glance around to see if any of the workers had seen her display of emotion. Since no one was visible, she cast all caution to the winds by standing on tiptoe to kiss McCoy on the cheek.

"Darn it, Len! I don't care how Vulcans are supposed to greet their friends. I am human, and I'll greet you the way I'd greet my real father. Lord! I'm so happy to see you that I could almost cry."

"Happy tears never hurt anybody, honey." Len tucked her hand in the curve of his arm and turned to walk with her to the house. "You know that I'd never be bothered if you cried in front of me. Don't you remember that I told you my shoulder was yours to cry on if you ever needed it?"

"Thanks, Len. I don't let tears get the best of me anymore. I've often wondered why the Enterprise didn't founder while I was still a member of the crew. I cried so much before Sarek and I finally found each other."

"Honey," McCoy said sternly, becoming all doctor instead of just good friend. "Don't you ever choke your tears back until you make yourself sick doin' so! Tears are Nature's way of lettin' off steam, just like laughin'. If you're denyin' yourself that release, you're doin' yourself an injustice."

"Maybe, Len, but the wife of Sarek of Vulcan has little time to indulge in either tears or laughter...." She stopped, vexed that she'd said so much.

Len glanced at her sharply but let the matter drop until after she'd ceremoniously offered him a chalice of water and had spoken the words of welcome in the ritual that Sarek had taught her.

"Let's go someplace where we can talk," he demanded as he laid aside the chalice after quenching the thirst that Vulcan's dry air always roused in his throat.

Lorna led McCoy into the cool, airy room that she'd had designed for her friends from off-world and she sat down beside him on the low, comfortable, free-form lounge.

"Lorna, I'm not goin' to beat around the bush." he said sternly. "Is there somethin' wrong between you and Sarek? No, don't go all Vulcan on me and tell me it's none of my business. I'm askin' you as your doctor and as your friend. You don't have anybody you can really talk to here on Vulcan. Like you said, the wife of Sarek of Vulcan lives a pretty crowded life, so she doesn't have much chance to gossip and let her hair down."

"Vulcan women don't do those things anyway, Len." Lorna retorted then she nodded. "You're right. I do need to talk with someone, and I know of no better confidante than you.... Yes, there may be something wrong with our marriage, I just don't know. There's nothing that I can point to and say that that's it - it's more of a feeling that something is wrong than anything else. I suppose it's all in my mind, but...."

Len listened, nodding from time to time, studying her while she told him what little she was willing to share with him. Except for a word or two to stimulate further admissions from her, he remained silent. Just sharing her inner burdens with someone that she knew would never break her confidence would help her about as much as anything.

"You may be right, honey," he said when she'd finished talking. "Your fears about your memories of your former life may be causin' you trouble. You may have developed a few chemical imbalances after livin' in this heavy gravity, too. It takes a long time to get completely adapted. Those imbalances could be causin' your feelin's of apprehension."

"The last examination I had down here didn't reveal anything...."

"Vulcan doctors don't know everything, though they'd like to think so!" Len blustered. "You let me give you a good physical while we're on the way to Turon-Lura. You may find that your problems are caused by nothin' more than a plain old vitamin shortage."

"I doubt if it'll be that simple, but you've got a date, Len. Now, tell me what all has happened since the last time we communicated...."

***

Len's old-fashioned Southern charm had cheered Lorna up quite a bit by the time the rest of the guests beamed down.

Kirk, Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, and Christine all came down together and, at Lorna's insistence, they hadn't worn their full dress uniforms - planning to enjoy an informal evening. Lorna was disappointed that Zia Andros, the girl who had shared her quarters while she'd still been a member of the crew of the Enterprise wasn't with them, but promotions had a way of separating friends.

Spock had gone to the city on personal business and would come along later with Sarek, so they all managed to enjoy a restrained version of old-home-week. To McCoy's great delight, Lorna had finally programmed the server to mix a perfect Mint Julep. Scotty was heard to admit that the Scotch which appeared at his command was much like that in the bottle he'd been keeping for something special.

However, it soon became apparent that Scotty was becoming too fond of this Scotch... When Scotty headed for the server a fifth time, Kirk stepped in front of him.

"You've had enough, Mr. Scott." Then when Scotty attempted to go around him: "That's an order, Mister!"

"Aye, Captain," the Chief Engineer said dully. "You're right."

He turned away and went to sit down beside Len.

Lorna had watched this encounter silently, wondering what was wrong with Scotty. He hadn't wanted to drink so much after his marriage.... Mira! Why wasn't she here tonight?

She might have asked, but Sarek and Spock arrived at that moment.

The gathering assumed a more serious manner when the Vulcans joined it, as much out of respect for the men themselves as for the fact that they were Vulcans. Almost immediately, the conversation turned to the mission that was ahead. The Enterprise wouldn't remain in orbit over either of the twin worlds while Sarek was conducting the negotiations. Instead, she would be exploring the system, charting and setting up supply posts for colonists who would be coming in later - if all went well between the Federation and the Klingons, that is.

Silence fell while they were eating, for it is the Vulcan way to eat without conversation. Afterwards, while they were still gathered about the table, Kirk stood up. "I have been entrusted with something send by the Procurator of Mauretania - it's a wedding gift for you and Lorna, Ambassador. The postal service has never succeeded in catching up with you. In fact, if the Enterprise, hadn't intercepted the crate on a Star Base recently, it would still be wandering somewhere in the galaxy."

Scotty and Sulu carried the crate in from where it had been resting in the courtyard and opened it carefully. Lorna found a life size, lifelike replica of the Pegasus family that had so enchanted her on Mauretania, packed amid yards and yards of air-filled material to protect it during transit.

There was just one place for that, the company agreed - beside the Leeithutt.

Lorna started to protest, began to tell her friends that the tree was dying then stopped, unwilling to spoil their pleasure.

"Mr. Sulu," Sarek's voice came clearly over the murmurs of the guests.

"Yes, Ambassador?"

"You possess the ability to arrange plants and ornaments artistically. Would you be willing to place this gift in the garden for us?"

"It'd be a pleasure, sir."

"And, since you are also skilled in the art of nurturing plants, would you also examine the Leeithutt? My wife holds that plant in special esteem, but it has not been growing well lately. I am certain she would welcome any suggestions that you might have regarding its care."

"Certainly, Ambassador. Perhaps I'd better go look at it now."

"Would you mind if I went with him?" Lorna said eagerly. "I'd like to tell him exactly what's been happening to my tree." Also, she needed a few minutes away from the others to regain her composure. Sarek's revelations of his knowledge of her distress over the blue rose tree had startled her; she'd thought he hadn't even noticed that it was dying.

Sulu looked at the statue and frowned, wondering how he could get it out to the garden. Spock intercepted his frown and went over to help him then found that he could lift the statue unaided. But he didn't stay after carrying it outside. Instead, he returned to continue a debate with Sarek.

It didn't take Sulu long to install the statue in a cluster of Vulcan foliage near the tree, and a bit of careful pruning gave the statue an illusion of life.

"Perfect!" Lorna approved. "Now, will you please see if you can find out what has happened to my blue rose?"

Sulu studied the leaves and blossoms carefully, touched the soil about the roots then he looked up at her and chuckled softly.

"Sulu! I don't see what's so funny. This tree means a lot to me." Lorna exclaimed, nettled by his amusement.

"I'm, sorry, Lorna. I wasn't laughing at you; really I wasn't. It just struck me as funny that you couldn't have seen it for yourself. You're getting too Vulcan."

"What do you mean?"

"The only thing wrong with your tree is that it hasn't been getting a simple little nutrient - calcium."

"'Calcium'?"

"Bone meal is the best source... It's my fault, Lorna. I should have realized that Vulcan's soil wouldn't have enough calcium for this tree. Look, I've got plenty of bone meal for the Herbarium; I'll have a batch beamed down right away. This tree should snap out of it in no time."

"Sulu, I could hug you!" Lorna exclaimed with delight then she smiled when he drew back swiftly. "Don't worry; I won't. Aren't you ever going to forgive me for nearly breaking your hand the last time you tried to shake hands with me?"

"Well let's just say that I hadn't realized how Vulcan gravity and a mineral supplement regimen could increase a human's strength - and let it go at that."

"Granted. Now, come over here. We've gotten some new plants that I know you'll want to see."

Sulu was intrigued with the new items that she'd brought in from the mountains on the far side of Vulcan. He went from specimen to specimen, examining each carefully, every now and then trying to talk her into letting him take a start from this plant or the next.

"Sulu, my friend, with that golden voice of yours, you could talk me out of almost everything I own," Lorna assured him, her eyes twinkling at his look of embarrassment. "Now, don't feel so self-conscious. You know perfectly well that you have the most beautiful voice in the Federation - next to Sarek's, of course."

Sulu murmured some sort of thanks and started to turn away.

"No, seriously, I'd like to ask you a favor, Sulu."

"Anything I can do, just name it."

Sarek has been working on a comparison between Haiku and some of the Pre-Reform literature. I was wondering if you'd mind doing a recital for him some evening while we're aboard ship? I'll even pay you in advance - our groundsman has made up a collection of starts from the new plants...."

"You don't have to pay me, Lorna," Sulu said as he escorted her back to the house. "I'll be glad to do it - anytime you wish. But, I'm not going to turn down those plants, either!"

When they returned to the others, Lorna was pleased to see that Jim had finally talked Spock into showing the company the lytherette that had been in the family for generations - an instrument far superior in tone to the one that he kept aboard ship. Once the instrument was in Spock's hands he soon agreed to give a brief concert.

Lorna glanced over at Sarek, who was standing near a window looking out at the sky while his son was playing. Though she wished that he would also play something for their friends, he seemed to be concentrating very deeply, so she didn't disturb him.

Spock finally laid the lytherette aside and started to rise. Immediately, Sarek turned from the window.

"It has been...." He would have stated the exact number of days since they had last shared an evening together in his home, but he saw Lorna's quick look, which suggested otherwise. For once, he got the message. "...a long time since we shared the joy of your companionship in our home, and it will be an even longer interval until we are able to do so again...."

So saying, he picked up the lytherette that his son had discarded, sat down, and remained motionless with his head bent as if considering what to play.

Lorna knew, however, that he was running through a complex exercise that would have broken one of McCoy's EKG indicators. After a moment, Sarek's fingers moved across the strings - soon revealing just who the true musician of this family really was.

Lorna remained just as hushed as the rest of the company for a while. She then began to study her friend's faces. To her great delight, she surprised a look of pride and Vulcan joy on her stepson's face - indicating that perhaps he'd learned to overcome some of his reluctance to reveal that he was able to experience emotion.

Christine also saw Spock's expression, and the sudden widening of her eyes told Lorna that the Chief Nurse would want to discuss this unexpected discovery with her at the earliest possible moment.

Lorna made it easy for Christine by asking her if she'd come and help her make a last inspection of the guest rooms - clearly an obvious means of retreating to indulge in a bit of feminine chatter. She would have invited Uhura, too, but the lovely Communications Officer had become embroiled in a debate comparing Afro-American rhythms to certain Vulcan tonal poems.

"I think you want to ask me a question, Christine?" Lorna said as soon as they were in the upper corridor.

"Lorna, was I seeing things while Sarek was playing for us? Was Spock really showing emotion?"

"You weren't seeing things, Christine."

"But, Mr. Spook insists that he has no emotions. He always has...."

"...and he always will, until he learns that he really doesn't have to be more Vulcan than his full-blooded peers. Christine, you've never asked, but I'm sure you've wondered what it's like for me - if it's possible for a human to be happy wedded to a Vulcan."

Christine colored faintly and couldn't meet Lorna's eyes. "Yes, but Amanda told me a bit.... Oh! I didn't mean...."

"You needn't apologize. Amanda's time is over. I realize I'm not really threatened by anyone's memories, of her. I should have realized that she would have taught you something of the Vulcan way.... And that prompts me to ask a question. You may think I am prying into affairs that are none of my concern, but.... You still love my son, don't you?"

"I.... You know, it, still startles me whenever I hear you call Mr. Spock your 'son,' even though that's what he is, in a way." Christine said. "I suppose my feelings haven't changed. Neither have his, apparently. No matter what you say, I could easily believe that Spock is telling the truth when he says that Vulcans have no emotions."

"He may be playing a Vulcan joke on you," Lorna assured her friend. They sat down in an alcove near the end of the hall. "You've seen him express emotion - even though he gave a logical explanation afterwards."

"True.... Anyway, Sarek must be able to express emotion once in a great while, at least. Otherwise, neither Amanda nor you would.... I'm sorry, Lorna."

"You were getting a bit personal, but I'll forgive you since you meant well." Lorna said after a brief pause. "I think, it is time that I told you something. But, don't let it mislead you, Christine. Spock feels he must overcompensate for his human heritage. He may never come to realize that the universe won't come to an end if he allows that shell he's built around himself to crack a bit. Even so.... Christine, no matter what Spock says, Vulcans can be 'logical of mind and passionate in spirit'."*

------------------------------

*From Barbara Letson.

------------------------------

"That's what I've often suspected." Christine said brightly. "You won Sarek. Who knows? If I try hard enough, maybe I can win his son."

"Christine, I'm not...." Lorna forced herself to become silent. She'd started to tell Christine that life with a Vulcan might not be all that wonderful, even with Spock, if her own experience was any indication. But that wouldn't be wise. After all, what seemed to be happening to her marriage might not necessarily happen to Christine's - should she ever win Spock. Surely Spock's human half would enable him to realize things that Sarek evidently couldn't even see, let alone understand.

"I'm not going to give you any encouragement, either way," she continued lamely, "for it isn't my place to do so. Spock will decide whom he will marry, when the time comes. However.... Christine, Sarek's family is among one of the most elite of Vulcan; his ancestry dates back to the very Beginning. Family lines mean a lot to Vulcans, and it's possible that Spock would hesitate to increase the human element that has entered his own."

"You mean - he'd be more inclined to choose a Vulcan wife?" Christine interrupted.

"Would it, be so bad if he didn't, marry you, Christine?" Lorna asked. "You already have a very full and rewarding, life. Indeed, when I first came aboard the Enterprise, I was amazed by the things that women in this era are allowed to do."

"That's right. You've told me how much women were discriminated against in your former time, in certain areas. Don't fool yourself, Lorna, there's still a lot of discrimination against women."

"Really? I find that hard to believe. Sarek has treated me like an equal from the first day of our marriage."

"He does? Then, why do you walk behind him, and why do you let him tell you what to do?"

"It is the Vulcan way, Christine - a holdover from the time when the Vulcan male preceded his female to protect her from enemies. I find it rather pleasant to be protected and, though it may appear that I'm being stifled, I'm not - really I'm not." She leaned forward and laid her hand on her friend's arm. "Christine, I assure you that I have full voice in our decisions, and I work at Sarek's side as an equal."

"In some ways, Vulcan women do seem to have more freedom than other women in the Federation." Christine admitted. "Do you realize that you can count the women Starship Captains on one hand? And it's no secret that everyone is watching them, just hoping they'll do something wrong. If they do, that'll prove what the men keep saying - that women aren't able to maintain command."

"I've never desired such a position, so I really can't contribute much to that discussion. However, I believe it is the responsibility of the women who are serving as Captains to pave the way for others...."

"You still don't understand, Lorna. Don't you realize that women are still caught by the most insidious trap of all? I guess I'm really lucky that Spock doesn't show any interest in me. If we married, I'd probably soon lose the freedom that I have now."

"With Spock? Christine, you are wrong."

"Okay, I'd be free, especially married to him - unless I got pregnant. You know that I'd be shunted off that ship onto a Star Base or a planet so fast that my head would swim. And once I'd had the child, that would finish me in Star Fleet, because I'd have to stay with the child until it was in school. Why, I'd be so far behind the new techniques and developments I'd never be able to catch up! It happens to every woman that opts for motherhood."

Lorna could think of no suitable rebuttal to Christine's statement, for she'd spoken the truth. With the exception of Vulcans, women still became victims of the ancient "child, kitchen, church" syndrome when they became pregnant. Most unfair! With the modern methods of childcare and birth control, why wasn't it possible for families to live on starships? Why did a husband and a wife have to be parted the moment that they gave evidence of starting a family? This was something that she would talk over with Sarek at the first opportunity. She was sure that he would agree with her that the influence of family life on a starship would be of great benefit, and he would surely know of some way to present this idea to the Council.

Their conversation drifted on to more mundane matters then they returned to the others.

"Lorna!" Jim exclaimed when they entered. "I've been looking for you.... We won't be leaving Vulcan until the day after tomorrow, and I was wondering if you'd like to beam up to the ship tomorrow and spend the day with us? You know, sort of a reunion before we leave?"

"Jim, I'd like to, but there is a lot to do here." Lorna refused reluctantly.

There was the sound of a footstep behind her.

"My wife, I am confident that such an excursion would be good for you." Sarek said calmly, "Preparing for diplomatic missions has become a routine matter for you by now, and everything is proceeding smoothly. You have already taken care of the most pressing matters. It will do no harm if you are absent for a few hours tomorrow."

"You really don't mind, Sarek?" Lorna queried, surprised by his agreement to what the average Vulcan would have considered as forsaking her responsibilities.

"If I did, I would tell you so, Lorna."

"Then - I'll accept with pleasure, Jim." Lorna said quietly, but her eyes were gleaming with anticipation. "What time do you want me to beam up?"

"I have to go back to the ship tonight, but the others won't be coming back until after breakfast. Why not come along with them?"

"Aren't you going to be able to come down and eat with us?"

"After that invitation, I'll be sure to come." He turned to Sarek, hand raised in the Vulcan salute. "Ambassador, I must return to the Enterprise."

"One moment, if you please." Sarek replied. "I have that translation you asked for the last time you were here...."

He moved off with the Captain and then escorted him to the beaming up point. Spock, as the son of the house, escorted their overnight guests to their quarters. Lorna went to program the morning meal, more than a little puzzled by Sarek's obvious desire to get her away from the planet the next day. If the chance came, she wouldn't hesitate to ask him why.

As was her custom, after she'd finished the programming, she went out to sit near the blue rose, for she'd adapted Sarek's custom of retreating to meditate at the close of the day. After a while, she became aware that Spock was standing in the entrance of the garden, watching her.

"Come, join me, Spock," she called, knowing that he was waiting for some sign that she was no longer engaged in meditation.

He approached and joined his hands to hers in the family embrace then he sat on the ground at her feet.

"Is all well with you, my son?" she asked formally.

"All is well, my mother. Yet, it will be pleasant to have you aboard the Enterprise again. We do not often have an opportunity to engage in unlimited conversations during our visits."

"You have something you wish to tell me."

"Is it so obvious? I beg forgiveness."

"Don't - not with me. I suspected earlier that you were wanting to tell me about something. What have you been up to now, and why didn't you tell me about it the last time we communicated?"

"I wished to tell you in person. I have taken part in a most interesting time-journey...." Spock went on to tell Lorna of his trip back to First Century Palestine. (PROOF POSITIVE, LNNB "Worksheet #6", and also reprinted in this volume.)

"So, you erased the records of His face and of His voice," Lorna mused. "A wise decision, in light of the fact that humans are so prone to give more importance to the image than to the reality. Spock, do, you feel proud that you've been able to answer an age-old question?"

"No, for I merely confirmed the information that was suggested when we located Captain Merrick."

"Surely you know what I mean. You've confirmed that there was such a Person on Earth. Please, tell me, what was He like?"

"I - do not think I could find the proper words. Nurse Chapel agreed to let me 'show' her.... Perhaps, the circumstances are still such...."

"No. I am impressed that you'd be willing to engage in a mind-touch for such a reason, Spock, but I won't let you do it. Besides, I don't think I really want to know after all.... I've carried an Image in my heart, ever since my childhood, and I think I'd rather cling to that."

"As you wish, my mother."

Lorna wanted to ask more questions about his time journey, but she knew that she would be invading his privacy if she did. Therefore, she sat silently beside him, watching him. He sat with his hands clasped about one knee, noting the changes that had been made in the garden, seemingly unaware of her intent regard.

At last, she leaned forward.

"I assume a mother's right, and I ask you if you have come to any conclusions about Christine, Spock. You must feel some regard for her, else you would not have sought to reassure her after returning to this era."

"Her distress was genuine; it was reasonable to assuage her anxieties," he said quietly then he turned and met her gaze fully. "You will agree that I must make my own decision regarding Nurse Chapel."

"Yes. Will you agree that you're not being entirely fair to her by prolonging matters?"

He lifted an eyebrow.

"Accuse me of prying, if you wish, but I'm going to speak my mind anyway," Lorna continued firmly. "Christine would be a wife that any man would be proud of - even you. However, she isn't getting any younger.... Spock, if you aren't interested in her at all then do her a kindness, and tell her so. Set her free so she will at least think about looking elsewhere."

She paused, hoping that the sudden lift of his other eyebrow meant that the possibility wasn't completely attractive to him.

"You are right," he agreed after a moment. "When the time comes, I shall have to choose a wife and, as you have said, Nurse Chapel does have much to recommend her. I assure you that I shall give the matter every consideration and will achieve a resolution, one way or another, as soon as is reasonably possible."

"Spock, I'm beginning to wonder if you would be the best man for Christine. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. However, I have my reasons. If she could learn to restrain her emotionalism, Christine would be very good for you. However, I doubt if she could ever learn to adapt completely to the Vulcan way. She's so impulsive and so warm-hearted that she would make constant errors."

"Yes, but she is intelligent. She could learn.... However, there are other facts to consider, and I must review them without undue haste."

"Well spoken, my son," Sarek's calm voice said from the darkness beside them. "Yet, do not tarry too long. It is unfortunate that you have not seen fit to select a replacement for T'Pring to end your unbonded state long before now."

"Sarek, I...." Spock said as he rose, but Sarek turned from him abruptly and extended his fingers to Lorna.

"My wife, attend me."

Obediently, Lorna went to him and joined her fingers to his.

"You will meet me at the fourth hour tomorrow, Spock?" Sarek demanded, not taking his eyes from Lorna.

"Yes."

"Until tomorrow." And Sarek spoke the ancient words bidding his son to rest well through the hours of the night.

Later, in their private quarters, Lorna found the silence unbearable. She finally turned to her husband.

"Sarek, why are you annoyed with me? Please don't say that you aren't, for I know better. What have I done wrong? Surely it's my right to express concern for our son's future?"

"True." Sarek replied without turning from the window, where he had again taken refuge.

"Then, why...?" Her mouth dropped open as a sudden thought came to her. Spock was young, near her own age chronologically, and he was probably fertile. Was it possible...?

"Sarek, are you worrying that I may discover that I love Spock more than I do you?"

He whirled swiftly, his eyes meeting hers so intently that she knew she'd been right. Then, his features became set in that chilling mask of non-emotion that he could assume at will.

"No, if you should ever decide that you want another - even my son - there would be nothing I could do, except step aside and set you free."

"Without even trying to make me change my mind?"

"What good would it do to try to keep a hostile and unwilling wife?"

She shook her head, feeling somewhat hurt then she realized that she was being humanly childish. "I don't understand, not really, but it doesn't matter. Such a thing will never happen. I love you, Sarek."

He didn't answer, merely looked at her, and that mask was still firmly in place.

"Sarek, if that isn't it, what is wrong? Please, tell me," she pleaded.

"It is something that is difficult to say without causing you distress. Lorna, you must take care not to spend too much time alone with Spock."

"For Heaven's sake, why? I've told you that there isn't the slightest danger that I'll fall in love with him!"

"Love has no bearing in this matter," he said impatiently. "Lorna, you must try to understand.... Do you have any inkling of the danger you might face if you were with Spock and the pon farr should come upon him while he is still unbonded?"

"How could there be any danger - for me? Spock has always regarded me as a mother, not as an eligible female. Besides, surely my telepathy would protect me."

"No." Sarek came to her and laid his hands gently upon her shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes, seeking to impart his concern to her. "It is possible that it would not. Spock accepts you as a mother, intellectually. In the blood-heat of the pon farr, however, he would see you only as a female that he might seek to acquire to ease his need in his unbonded state." His hands tightened slightly, but not enough to hurt her. "There is no blood relationship to protect you. Thus, if you were alone with him when he felt even the first hint of the affliction.... Lorna, even though you are wed to me, his own father, he would seek to retain his life by laying claim to you. If he did that, and since you have expressed your preference for me, I would have to fight him - to the death."

Lorna shuddered. "Oh, Sarek, I'm sorry. I didn't understand.... All right, I promise I'll avoid being alone with Spock unless or until he becomes bonded."

She swayed forward and laid her head against his chest, hoping that he'd hold her close and comfort her. He did hold her, for a moment then he put her aside gently.

"You are tired, my wife, and the hour grows late. You will wish to be at your best when you visit the Enterprise tomorrow."

"Yes, Sarek," Lorna murmured, hiding her disappointment, for she'd hoped this would be one of those evenings when she could interest Sarek in fulfilling her human needs. In fact, she still wasn't ready to give up.

Hurrying through her bedtime routine, she put on one of her most becoming night robes before going to him - to find that he had fallen soundly asleep.

Fortunately, the humor of the situation struck her so that she fell into bed stifling her laughter. Where else but on Vulcan would it be considered normal behavior for the husband to fall asleep and leave his wife feeling frustrated when she wanted to make love?

CHAPTER FOUR

Lorna wasn't so amused when she woke up the next morning. She knew Sarek was still asleep... Unwilling to awaken him, she lay thinking about the many events of the previous day. Actually, the fiasco last night proved that the bond that existed in a Vulcan marriage was missing in theirs - which increased the danger Spock might represent to her. Now what, if anything, could she do about it?

A soft chime reminded her that she had to start getting ready to visit the Enterprise. Also, it reminded her that she hadn't been able to ask Sarek why he was so willing to let her go. Rising carefully, grateful that her sounds didn't disturb her husband, she glanced idly at the date recorder on the nearby table, and her eyes widened. This was the anniversary of Amanda's death!

She left the house too quietly for even her husband's keen hearing to detect, so he slept on undisturbed. Selecting the least damaged branch from the blue rose tree, Lorna made her own pilgrimage to Amanda's grave.

How pleasantly surprised she'd been when she'd visited Amanda's grave the first time. She'd assumed that Vulcans would allow their bodies to return to the soil after death whenever they could, but their method of burial was unexpectedly lovely. Instead of the rows and rows of tombstones or urns that humans used, Vulcans buried their dead in gardens. Special plants bearing blossoms of almost magical beauty and delicacy marked each resting place. These plants grew nowhere else, and they were regarded with a great devotion as living memorials of the dead that nourished them and to whose bones they gave adornment and shelter.

After spending several minutes in silent meditation, Lorna returned to the house where everyone enjoyed breakfast served out on the terrace to take advantage of the early morning coolness.

Sarek gave no indication that he remembered their discussion of the previous evening. Instead, he bade her to make the most of her day with her friends then returned to their private quarters without a backward look.

After they beamed up to the ship, Jim invited Lorna to come with him to the bridge. He wanted her to see the new viewing screen and some of the other new equipment that had been installed during their last overhaul.

There was more than one surprise waiting for Lorna - two new members of the crew. Lieutenant Arex, a triped, and Lieutenant M'Reas, a felinoid. To her regret, Lorna was informed that Mr. Chekov wouldn't be aboard this trip because he was taking a specialized course at the Academy.

Her expeditions to other worlds with Sarek had taught her to ignore the outer form of intelligent beings, so she paid no attention to Arex' appearance, which some humans found to be somewhat bizarre. Instead, she exchanged pleasantries with him easily, even managing to successfully speak a few words of his native tongue, which brought her an unassuming word of appreciation from him. As always, she marveled at the gentleness of his beautiful eyes and felt anew a pang of envy, wondering what it'd be like to be native to a world that had never experienced armed conflict.

Lieutenant M'Ress, however, presented a definite problem. Though she did know better, Lorna always thought of beautiful, lordly, pedigreed cats whenever she met members of the felinoid races - and she always had to stifle a desire to stroke their ears and scratch them beneath their chins. Of course, that would never do!

Jim must have guessed the thoughts that were going through Lorna's mind as she conversed with M'Ress, who was standing watch at Uhura's console, for he came to her side and touched her arm to capture her attention. "Lorna, I accept the fact that you're married to a Vulcan ambassador and follow his traditions. However, for old time's sake, would you agree to wear a Starship Sciences uniform while you're aboard ship today?"

"I think that is a fine idea, Captain," she said quietly, but her lips curved in a warm smile. "I'll go down and change right now."

"Good! You'll want to visit Bones and explore Sick Bay this morning, right? Okay, I'll meet you in Rec Room 10 at 1200 hours for lunch. We'll play it by ear after that."

***

Doctor McCoy looked up as the door opened, and he grinned when he saw that Lorna was wearing the blue of Starship Sciences.

"Reviving old memories? How does it feel?"

"Itchy. I guess the freedom and lightness of Vulcan garments spoiled me. Len, you've really changed things around in here since I left. What are these interesting little creatures?"

"Gossamer mice...." Len embarked upon a tour of Sick Bay, showing her all the innovations and bringing her up to date on some of the newer discoveries.

Eventually, they wound up at his desk. He gave Lorna his chair and he perched himself on the corner of his desk while she read a report that he'd made regarding one of the many new systems that they'd recently charted.

"Look, you're here in Sick Bay, and I've got some free time," he said after she had finished reading the report. "Why don't you hop up on the diagnostic table and let me give you that physical right now?"

True to what he'd said the day before, he found that she was suffering from a minor vitamin deficiency, common to humans, resulting from her consumption of nothing but Vulcan foods. He gave her a supply of tablets and also provided her with the formula so she could obtain refills.

Then, while he was reading the body functions panel and was making notations on his clipboard, he completely upset her equilibrium:

"How's your love life, Lorna?"

She glared at him. "I don't have to wait at least seven years, if that's what you mean," she snapped.

"I'm not asking to be nosy, I'm asking because I'm your doctor." Len informed her coolly. "The board shows that your nerves are tense and that you're restless - beyond the effects of that deficiency. If you're not getting any relief from your normal sexual tension then that would explain it. Otherwise, I'll have to look deeper for the pathology."

"You're right...." Lorna admitted reluctantly, for she had learned to observe the Vulcan reluctance to discuss higher biology. "Sarek isn't bound by the total Vulcan cycle. He's more nearly human in that respect than I ever dared hope - I don't know if his sterility broke the pattern or if his Esper powers respond to my human needs and nature. "Whatever it is.... Well, Len, I don't get to the point where I'm ready to climb the walls or - or to take a lover, and Sarek has never been driven to the point that he's in danger of entering pon farr."

"Ahuh. But sex isn't enough. Do you get plenty of physical contact?"

"What?" She sat bolt upright on the table, angry and amused.

"I mean, does Sarek hold you? Does he give you the comfort and the support that you need?"

"Are you talking about 'cuddling?' The hugging, kissing, and so forth that couples usually indulge in during courtship?"

"And after marriage, too, if they're smart. A woman - a human woman - needs that closeness and contact, Lorna. From what I saw and heard yesterday, I don't think you're getting it."

"Len," she turned to sit with her feet dangling over the side of the table, "you don't understand. When Vulcans become bonded - when that bonding is finalized by the marriage ceremony, they touch mentally. After that, they don't need that physical contact...."

"You're not a true Vulcan. Do you share that mind-touch with Sarek?"

"I - guess we don't, not in the way that it's meant to be. We - we share thoughts when we're intimate; even then, though, there are things that I keep shielded to keep from worrying him. After all, this is probably my fault, and there's no use bothering him about it."

"Rubbish! Though I'm thinkin' a stronger word. You're right, part of it may be your fault - because you're enough of a telepath that you should've tried to establish some sort of permanent contact. If you can't then why in tarnation don't you tell Sarek that you need non-sexual physical touching? He'd better bend those stiff Vulcan rules of his and learn to give you what you need before it's too late...."

"Stop it, Len! You have no right to insult my husband that way." Lorna snapped. "It really isn't any of your business, but I assure you that Sarek is perfectly capable of comforting and - and 'cuddling' me. He did it all the time when I was suffering with those horrible nightmares. Naturally, I don't expect it now, for we've been married long enough to do without it...."

This time, Len didn't bother to, soft-pedal his opinion.

To say that Lorna was startled was an understatement. She'd had no idea that Len even suspected that the Vulcan language contained words that served the purpose of profanity let alone know how to speak them so fluently.

"I'll say it again if you spout any more of that nonsense!" He thundered. "Now you get down off that high horse of yours and start answering some questions for me, young lady! Have all the cuddling and physical expressions of affection stopped because Sarek has indicated that he wants them stopped? Or have they stopped because you were either afraid that he was violating his Vulcan standards or that such things weren't needed after marriage?"

"I.... I guess I'm to blame, Len. I've been trying so hard to adapt to all the Vulcan ways. After all, I'm married now. Courtship is...."

"Damn it, Lorna! If Sarek didn't want to treat you like a human wife, he'd have made that clear from the start. How could an intelligent, normally healthy young woman get herself into such a muddle? Didn't you just admit that you've wanted Sarek to 'cuddle' you?"

Lorna smiled at the irony of the situation. When she and Sarek had become betrothed, she'd felt gratitude that Sarek would have the ability to hold her and to caress her without immediately wanting sex. It had been one of the blessings of her life with him, too, until she had decided that she was childish and that she should do without such expressions of affection.

Len snorted when she told him this. "'Childish,' my foot! It's perfectly normal. Why didn't you ever ask Sarek what he wanted before you cut out a very vital part of your marriage?"

"Len! I couldn't. It wouldn't be...."

"It 'wouldn't be feminine'? Says who? Sounds, like some of the stuff you had drummed into your head when you were a child. You have rights, the same as Sarek. If you don't have that mental communion, how is he going to know what you need if you don't tell him?" His eyes snapped with blue fire when she started to protest. "Don't you come up with the bit that you can't tell him. That's false pride talking. You needn't fear that you'll 'hurt' him either. Believe me, you've probably been hurting him a lot more by keeping your mouth shut! If you have half a brain in that lovely head of yours, I think you'll agree. Lorna, go to Sarek as soon as you get back home. Tell him everything you've told me. The worst he can do is to say he doesn't understand what you mean. If he does, you'll have the fun of showing him - but, I'm bettin' that he'll surprise you...."

CHAPTER FIVE

Spock had just beamed back to the Enterprise after sharing in the ancient ceremony of meditation at Amanda's grave.

Instead of returning to the house to change from his traditional soil-colored garments of mourning, Sarek returned to Amanda's grave. He folded his arms beneath the folds of his flowing, ankle-length, russet-hued cloak and stared sightlessly at the flowers guarding 'Amanda's final resting place.

He recalled the events of his life with the woman who'd given him his son. He thought of her warmth, her gentleness, her courage and determination in an environment that had been so hostile to her and - because of her - to him. However, as much as possible, he'd kept her from knowing that.

As often happened at these times, it seemed as though Amanda was with him, her slender fingers touching his, her gentle eyes glowing with love. He knew that she wasn't really there. However, even after her death, she had seemed to be with him. All he ever had to do was to turn aside and "listen," and he could soon sense the warmth of her love.

Then, as usual, Amanda's presence seemed to fade away, and the image of his second wife rose in his mind - but it was the Lorna of their earlier married days, not the cold, formal precise image that she presented to outsiders - and more and more often of late, to him.

He didn't question the patterns of a life, which had brought two Terran women to share his life and his marriage bed. Both had been different, yet they had been much alike. Both were recipients of his deepest, sincerest love. Even though their essential differences had caused much dissension, it had been worth it - it was still worth it, and he wouldn't have wanted to miss even one of the experiences he'd shared with first Amanda and now with Lorna.... And yet....

"Amanda, if only it were possible for you to tell me what I must, know," he murmured. "You, of all beings, would be able to tell me what is wrong. You would understand. I did not love you less than I love her; it is different. This is her time; I know you would want us to be as happy as you and I were.... But, we are not. What can I do? What should I do?"

His thoughts eventually were disturbed by a feeling of compulsion to go over to the fountain that irrigated this section of the garden. Knowing that his subconscious mind had seen something remiss, Sarek went to examine the fountain carefully.

There was nothing wrong - except one small drooping plant that was trying to grow out of a cracked stone on the lip of the fountain near enough to the overflow that it should have been able to get plenty of moisture. The crack was so choked with rock hard dust and sediment, though, that no water could get to the plant, except for a few drops of condensation. Nor could the plant be uprooted and transported elsewhere; its roots were wound too tightly in the rock.

The plant wasn't quite dead, but it definitely was suffering from the lack of adequate moisture. Its leaves were drooping and the bud swelling at its tip was also leaning toward the ground, the protective covering loose, but not enough to allow the petals to unfurl.

Though it was just a plant, Sarek acknowledged its right to life by reaching down to dig the blocking material out of the crack so the plant would have full access to the water. His sense of order satisfied, he returned to Amanda's grave and resumed his meditations, without ever really seeing the flower....

His thoughts turned to the mission, which had been forced upon him, and he felt an ever-growing sensation of concern welling up within him. Lorna had never really come fully to terms with the losses she'd experienced when she'd been trapped in this era. That three-way mind-meld had shielded her against the worst effects of the initial shock. Later, her efforts to adapt to her new life aboard the Enterprise had kept her from thinking too much about the past. Then, he'd protected her by being with her to guide, instruct, and support her while she was adjusting to Vulcan. Even their missions to other worlds hadn't really enabled her to experience the inevitable culture shock awaiting her, for the civilizations that she'd seen were so exotic and exciting that she'd been too intrigued to even think about her former life. If this crisis had come during the early part of their marriage, Sarek knew that he would have been able to bring Lorna through it. But now? For the first time, he was almost unsure of his ability to help her, to sustain and guide her through the distress that she would experience when they arrived on the 20th Century level planets. The sense of wrongness that was bothering him would be a definite hazard.

***

"You've got quite a bit of time left before you're due to meet Jim, Lorna. Let's go down and visit Scotty. He's been having some problems lately, and I think you might be able to help him."

Lorna welcomed a chance to get away from Sick Bay. Len had been rough on her - no more than she'd deserved, but she needed time to smooth her ruffled nerves.

Len touched the signal, wondering if Scotty would be in Engineering for a change instead of in his office.

"Come in."

When they stepped in, Scotty looked up, saw Lorna then he looked down at his desk, where a heap of new technical journals lay beside a half empty bottle and a brimming glass of Scotch.

"You don't have to rescue your journals," Lorna assured him when he reached out to pick up the publications. "I read those long ago. You'll particularly enjoy the article dealing with the multiple-universe equations. I would have thought that Mira would have wooed you away from those by now." Then, suspecting that Mira was in some way the source of Scotty's "problems": "By the way, where is Mira?"

"She was on Memory Alpha. She had to set up residence there." Scotty's eyes were dull and his voice strangely lifeless.

"Memory Alpha?' What...? Why would she leave the ship...? Oh! Did she go on pregnancy leave, Scotty?"

"Aye." Again, there was no change in his voice.

"How wonderful! I'm happy for you, Scotty. And I'd love to see you trying to figure the mechanics of fastening a diaper...." She could see that he wasn't listening, that he was immersed in some personal misery. Seeking to reach him, to turn his attention outwards so she could then startle him into making some sort of admission of whatever it was that was hurting him, she introduced another topic: "However, that isn't going to keep me from giving you a good scolding."

He sat motionless, looking at her but not really seeing her. Determined to produce some reaction from him, Lorna persisted: "Recently, I was reviewing my records of the special hearing called to decide how to help me to adjust to this era. Scotty, do you remember what you said when you made that recommendation...? I wish you hadn't said that I'd done the greatest possible service for the Federation. You and I both know that Captain Kirk has done greater things. What I did, I did unknowingly. Jim has risked his life for the Federation countless times, and I feel that he deserves every medal that's ever been struck!"

"Ah, well, darlin'," Scotty said dully as he stirred restlessly, obviously wishing that they would go, "you really couldn't of expected a man to be in any state o' thinkin' clearly aboot such things that close to his weddin' day."

By now, Lorna realized that Scotty's depression had something to do with Mira's pregnancy. She thought she knew what it was, and so she worded her reply in a manner that would increase the hurt he was feeling and prompt him to confirm her theory.

"If you have that much trouble keeping your mind on your work when you're happy, I'd better warn Captain Kirk to keep you far away from the engines when the child arrives...."

Scotty became deathly pale, and a swift blur of tears filmed his pain-filled eyes.

"Scotty! What is it?" Lorna demanded as she stepped forward and reached out to lay one hand on his shoulder. "What did I say that was so wrong?"

"Doctor, you tell her!" Scotty demanded harshly. Twisting away from her, he reached blindly across his desk to grasp the glass of Scotch and jerked it to his lips, spilling a healthy amount across his tunic in the process.

Len had been standing leaning against the wall, a silent spectator of the scene before him. Now he straightened and moved up to stand beside Lorna, keeping his eyes on the Chief Engineer as he spoke to Lorna.

"We got word while we were coming to Vulcan.... Mira has just lost the baby. Wait, that's not all." He lifted his hand to silence Lorna's instinctive expression of sympathy. "Evidently those beings did a lot of damage before* they were driven from Mira - radiation damage that didn't register on any of our instruments. Mira wasn't harmed, herself, but her reproductive system was affected. The ova received a bombardment that wasn't lethal but caused permanent gene alterations. The fetus seemed human through the first trimester then it began to develop into something so entirely different that Mira's system was unable to shelter and to nourish it any longer. She was in the fifth month when she miscarried, but the fetus was unable to survive in even the most sophisticated external-womb installation."

------------------------------

*Lights of Zetar. Jeremy Tarcher & Shari Lewis, live Star Trek episode.

------------------------------

"Surely something can be done to reverse the damage?" Lorna demanded.

"The doctors on Memory Alpha have said that it can't. In fact, they recommended sterilization for Mira. She refused it there and is on her way back to the Enterprise. I was informed that she had agreed for me to do the operation, but she won't let anyone else touch her. She's due to arrive tonight at...."

"Me poor bairn!" Scotty moaned, slamming the empty glass onto the desk. He then began to rock back and forth, clasping his arms across his abdomen as he bent over them and abandoned himself to his sorrow, words pouring from his lips in a veritable torrent.

Lorna felt repelled for a moment, thinking that Scotty was being "selfish," that he was mourning for the proof of his masculinity. She changed her mind when the broken phrases continued to fall from his pale lips. He wanted a child, perhaps a son to carry on his name, but mainly because it would have been the fruit of the love, which he and Mira shared. Now, he was feeling Mira's pain as if it were his own and was worrying what this shock had done to her - afraid that he wouldn't be able to give her the support she would need. Afraid that he didn't have the strength to face what lay ahead of them.

"Lorna," Len whispered suddenly. "Help him, honey! Now."

She moved forward and offered her hand. Scotty took it, held it to his lips for a moment then laid his cheek against her knuckles. She opened her mind to accept his sorrow then laid her free hand upon his forehead as she began her unique healing....

***

When they returned to Sick Bay, Lorna was very thoughtful. When they were inside Len's office again, she turned to him:

"Len, are you still studying those pod plants to see if you can counteract the hive-mind effect and take advantage of their curative properties?"

"Yes, the case keeps them from breaking out and prevents the Barthold radiation from harming anyone.... I'm 'way ahead of you, honey! I ordered tests right away. If there's any chance that the spores'll help Mira, I'll tell the good news to Scotty so he can tell her the minute she boards ship."

"For their sakes, I hope the tests are positive." She paused, wondering if she should introduce so personal a topic at this time. However, she might not have another chance. "Len, I need your advice...." Again she paused, still not sure that she should continue.

"What is it, honey?" He said gently as he sat down and motioned her to a seat.

"You've examined Sarek... Is his sterility permanent?"

"I've never had reason to test him for that. What has the Academy told you?"

"Not much. Mainly that Sarek tested sterile after that fever he had and that they'll discuss a child from the gene banks when we agree that the time is right. However, Sarek doesn't seem willing to discuss the subject, and I haven't insisted.... Now, after having experienced Scotty's sorrow, I'm starting to wonder if I've been so 'unselfish' after all. Reproduction is a complicated process for Vulcans and ancestry means much more to them than it does to humans. If we had a history and traditions kept alive from a time dating clear back to our legendary Adam and Eve, perhaps we could understand better...." She paused and twisted her hands restlessly in her lap. "Len...there've been times I've discovered that Sarek has been lying awake at night. He's always said that he was 'thinking about various matters.' Now, I'm afraid that he was really lying there gripped by acute panic because his son is in such a dangerous profession, yet there are no other children to carry on the family line. I thought he had delayed asking me to accept a child from the Academy because he wants me to become fully adapted to Vulcan. That's understandable. If he waits too long, though, I'll reach the age where I can no longer provide completely healthy, fertile ova."

"Considering the difficulties you've been having lately, do you suppose he's decided you aren't mature enough to provide the care such a child would need?" Len demanded bluntly.

"Perhaps - but he's wrong, Len. I want Sarek's child - no matter how it is conceived or born - not because it is 'expected' of me or because social pressure forces married couples to produce children. I want Sarek's child because it will be the completion of our love. We do still love each other, in spite of everything, Len! I've been so afraid.... Do you suppose that Sarek has decided that he doesn't want any more human/Vulcan children?"

"No, honey, no! He's proud of Spock - remember, he admitted as much on your wedding day. I'm sure he has good reasons for waiting."

"I wish I knew what they were. Len, is it possible that Sarek's sterility will eventually reverse itself? I've read that this has often happened in human men who had mumps after they passed puberty."

"The possibility exists," Len agreed, "but it evidently hasn't happened to Sarek yet. Your tests show that you haven't been pregnant and that you aren't now."

"Unfortunately, and there's been more than one chance for it to happen.... Even so.... Len, what about the pod plants? Could they help Sarek?"

"Honey, don't you know? I did think of them before you and Sarek were married. I told him of the spores the evening you were betrothed and offered to treat him with them. I could have used adrenalin adapted to Vulcan biochemistry to drive them out of his system after they'd healed him."

"Why did you decide against it?"

"I didn't. He refused. He said that he couldn't allow me to use such a technique because it would result in the destruction of intelligent life. Since Sarek probably wouldn't drive the spores out deliberately either, he definitely had me stalemated. So far, I haven't figured any way to overcome his reverence for life in order to use the spores to reverse his sterility."

"Maybe I can talk him into getting another test to see if he is still sterile. If it registers 'negative fertility,' perhaps I can talk him into choosing the spores as the lesser of two evils."

"I doubt if you can do either, but I certainly won't stand in your way if you are willing to try." McCoy said with a broad grin.

***

Late afternoon, and Sarek had come no closer to a solution to the problem of his marriage. In fact, he felt that he'd lost the serenity that meditation by the grave of a loved one was designed to create. Therefore, he decided that he had better leave before matters became worse. It was then that he felt a compulsion to return to the fountain.

The plant had been in what had amounted to suspended animation. The sudden abundance of life-giving water had stimulated it into immediate response. Not only had it revived, its petals had unfurled slightly.

Sarek looked down at the plant then he lifted his head and widened his eyes in response to a sudden thought:

The flower had been part of the fountain, yet it had been dying for want of water because there had been no communication. Wasn't his marriage in similar straits? How could a marriage survive if it didn't have the refreshment of caring and communication - what Lorna would call the warmth of love - to nourish it? He'd fallen in love with Lorna and had won her as wife because he had needed her - as companion and lover as well as helpmeet. Yet, he'd become too confident of her love for him, to the point that he'd fallen into the all too familiar trap of assuming that their love could survive without being recharged. Worse, he'd allowed himself to become selfish, inconsiderate, and thoughtless. He had even violated the Philosophy of Nome in a minor degree, for he'd ignored Lorna's individual differences. Instead, he'd accepted her efforts to lay these differences aside and to assume characteristics and traits that were exactly like his own!

His error had been an honest one, though. He'd assumed that Lorna's mind was incapable, even with her unique mental talents, of maintaining the deepest linkage that he'd experienced with her when T'Pau had locked their minds at their wedding - the "never-touching-and-always-touching" that is such a vital part of a Vulcan marriage. But now, remembering snatches of various nuances and thoughts that he'd encountered during their intimate moments, he wondered if he were wrong. Perhaps it was possible that Lorna could learn to achieve this deep linking. He'd known that her commitment wasn't as complete as he'd anticipated when they had become bonded during their betrothal, but he hadn't sought to achieve the deeper level of contact. This reticence had been due in part to his natural reluctance to invade another's mind, and in part because he'd considered this a sign of her psychological immaturity which only time could banish as she acquired learning and experience in the Vulcan way. That was also why he'd continued to put aside her suggestions that they should consult the Science Academy about a child.

Now, he understood why he had picked up occasional sensations of frustration from her. It had not been directed toward him but toward herself because of her failure to succeed in accepting and assimilating some of the most important characteristics of his world and culture. Yet, there was no doubt that the fault was his. A swift review of all the facts made it very clear; the capability of gaining that deepest contact was within her range of talents. He had never taught her how to maintain it.

"Indeed, it is as Doctor McCoy once told me - there is such a thing as being 'too Vulcan,' if one's mate has come from another world," he murmured softly. "I became too immersed in routine to keep sight of that which should have been foremos