Chatlog of Class # 5 for Editing the Novel

#talk created on Sun Mar 26 14:24:52

<Bonnee> Okay, are we ready to go? I'll get a copy of Greg's editing form out. Maybe we can post it with the next assignment. It's got really great questions on it, so I'll make sure it's uploaded when we do our next assignment. First, let me begin with last week's assignment. I apologize again for not being here. I promised to give you my impressions of the chapter JL gave us to read. First, the greatest impression that hit me was the lack of a story question. Yes, our "hero" wanted to escape, but I didn't understand why. Why was it important (other than freedom because that's too nebulous a concept). Why did it have to be now? One of the most important things in catching an editor's eye is to introduce your story question (the ultimate goal) and you need to present why it's important. Think of a story like a time bomb ticking. You need to get the impression that this story question can't wait. It must be achieved NOW. The why is very important in a story. The why will invoke reader emotions and they'll now invest their time in your characters.
- Why is it important and why must it happen now?
- Why today is different than tomorrow?
- Why can't it wait?
See where I'm going with this concept? Let me pause for a moment and ask if you have any questions regarding this point.
<MargareTZ> Yes. Want the editor to keep reading to find the answer to the question.
<Bonnee> Exactly! You'll keep finding yourself coming back to "why?"
<Greg> If the story question comes quickly, when does it have to be answered?
<MargareTZ> Answer finishes story.
<Bonnee> Exactly!
<N`omi> The end of the story!
<Greg> Or is it, or can it be a step to another question?
<Bonnee> A lot of people call this "theme". I prefer to call it the story question. When you've got one question leading to another, you've got a "journey" which is almost the same.
<AnnMarie> Ah, in EoS the term used was the 'Conflict'.
<Bonnee> But not quite. Yes and no. Conflict forms the basis behind the story question.
<MargareTZ> Story question and scene questions?
<Bonnee> How are they going to achieve the goal and what are their obstacles to achieving it? Yes, the story question is broken down into scene questions. The story question is the overall direction of your plot. What is the ultimate? Could be nothing more than opening a store. Each scene will have its own question that leads to the bigger picture.
- How will I find the financing?
- Where will I rent the space?
See what I mean? It all builds to that "big" question. Conflict is what you find between your protagonist (the one who needs to achieve that goal) and your antagonist (the one who doesn't want the protagonist to succeed). Each has their own reason for either succeeding or stopping that ultimate goal. And that's the basis for conflict (at least, this is your internal conflict). We'll get real confusing now because there's an internal conflict and an external conflict. Internal conflict is what drives the individual either for or against that goal. External conflict is the obstacles that must be overcome in order to achieve it.
Now, since my background is romance, let me give an example of how a romance typically brings this all together. The external conflict is usually what drives the hero and heroine together. They just work together in order to achieve that end. OTOH, the internal conflict is what drives them apart (the reason the reader feels they'll never get together in the end). So you've got circumstances that bring them together. And personal belief systems that drive them apart. It's a matter of finding that right balance so one person doesn't have to compromise everything they believe in for them to get together in the end. And how do we do that? Easy...we come full circle back to "why". Why it's important for one person and what they must understand and how they must grow in order to reach that goal and not make the other person give up that personal belief system. Any questions so far?
<Greg> How many story questions are there in the romance genre?
<Bonnee> Each book should have one overriding story question regardless of genre. How many scene questions (or steps in order to achieve that end) depends on plot.
<Greg> Would a story question be....will the heroine learn to trust again?
<MargareTZ> Just a little different slant, bringing together instead of protag defeating antag.
<Bonnee> No, that's the basis for an internal conflict, not an external plot, Greg. As she learns to work with the hero, her "growth" is learning to trust.
<AnnMarie> From my own experience, that doesn't work, more like are they going to defeat the evil wizard sort of story question.
<Bonnee> It's her internal conflict that keeps her from moving forward as a character. Right, Ann Marie. Story question is an outside thing... more physical than emotional.
- Will they find the kidnap victim?
- Will I find a place and open my store?
- Will I get the financing?
- Will I move to Texas and become a cowboy?
- Can I learn to ride a horse?
These are all external things.
<Greg> There is a serial murderer...will I catch him before he kills again?
<Bonnee> They need other people in order to achieve, outside influences.
<MargareTZ> Good group to ask that question of!
<AnnMarie> I see it as the externalization of the theme, myself ... from the construction point of view, what can I use to most clearly show the final resolution of the conflict.
<Bonnee> Exactly! Yes, exactly! Now you're getting the hang. An internal conflict either enhances or inhibits an external conflict.
<Greg> The big picture...a question and answering the question.
<Bonnee> Internal is just that, inside the person. Yes, Greg! An external conflict is more tangible. Defeat the dragon and save the town. Escape the prison and save the galaxy.
<MargareTZ> And from editor's viewpoint we should be looking to see if there is a clear question from the beginning?
<Bonnee> This is what was missing in JL's chapter. The external conflict. WHY it was important for our hero to escape? Yes, Margaret! If there isn't a story question by the end of the first chapter, then why should I continue reading? What is the main character looking to accomplish? And, just as important, WHY?
<MargareTZ> So another name for the HOOK
<Bonnee> Yes, in a way. A hook is a tool to catch my attention. Let me see if I can explain this....Okay, I read a book once (Gee, only one? <g>). The first chapter set up the heroine as a retired detective. She was asked to safeguard a witness in a murder. Her internal was that she wasn't really keen on the idea of it. But, she agreed for a few days. Obviously, the story question became if she could keep this guy alive long enough to testify. The hook, though, was the guy showed up in a raincoat and a sequined g-string. He was a stripper in a club.
<N`omi> Now I see the difference!
<Bonnee> I was hooked by that because I wanted to know how the heck she was going to deal with Mr. Gorgeous without drooling all over him. The fact that he was a stripper became a complication in that she was an ex-detective who'd loved her job and had been forced into retirement because of an injury which left her with a permanent limp. How can Mr. Gorgeous, who was sullen and not too keen on the idea of living on a houseboat, get along with someone who felt she was no longer attractive? Add in some bad guys who, of course, found them and wanted Mr. Gorgeous dead and you've got your story question along with your internal conflicts.
<MargareTZ> And the way you summarize it makes me want to read the book!
<Bonnee> It was a good book. I'd read it for the Golden Heart and then received a copy for review when it was published. Also the first book I'd read in a contest that I remember being published. So, the hook was and wasn't tied to the story question, but an offshoot that made it interesting enough to keep reading. It didn't enhance the "why", but gave that extra "oomph" that kept me reading
<Greg> Are you saying that the book is basically foreshadowed in the first chapter?
<AnnMarie> I do, Greg ... or at least try to.
<Bonnee> Yes and no. The first chapter must set the tone for the book. In a way, it will foreshadow in the sense that you need to get the idea of whether you're reading comedy or suspense. Is this SF or horror? You have an idea of where the author is going, so, yes, there is foreshadowing, but it also gives that unique twist so the reader knows it's not going to be the "same old, same old". In this case, it wasn't just a man. He was a man in a raincoat and a sequined g-string. This is not the guy you'll meet on a street corner... no Boy-next-door in this case.
<AnnMarie> Something to get the reader's ears pricked forward?
<Bonnee> Exactly! That small twist that makes you sit up and take notice. So, do you see the difference in the hook and story question?
<MargareTZ> yes
<Greg> yes
<AnnMarie> Yes
<Bonnee> JL had a hook in that she brought in the point that the prisoner was human, but then it was dropped and never used the way it could have been.
- Why was it mentioned?
- What made him different?
- How was that going to affect both his treatment and how they viewed him?
<N`omi> That told us that she was not human.
<Bonnee> Right, but why was that important? It was a line that could have been used effectively yet wasn't. Okay... another example (if you've read it)
<AnnMarie> The hook had no barbs?
<Bonnee> YES! Stephen King's Pet Cemetery. One line in the whole book. When it was mentioned that it looked like the "cat had got at it". Church was brought back from the dead before the child. He never really used the fact that the cat was feeding on live flesh. It wasn't even mentioned again until much later in the book and long after the fact that the man had resurrected his son. He had a LOT of opportunities to use that line. Instead, he intro'd a ghost who disappeared about halfway into the book. IOW, he needed editing <g>. Introduce a line like that and follow up on it. Don't drop red herrings. Nothing ticks a reader off more than a red herring. Something that looks important because it's "out of sync" and then dropping it into nowhere.
<MargareTZ> What if it drops out and then explodes at the climax?
<Bonnee> Keep it alive. Small mentions. You don't need to beat the reader over the head, but don't drop it entirely.
<AnnMarie> Do you have any tricks for finding red herrings ... and also differentiating them from background?
<Bonnee> References back to the character or situation, small subtle nuances, but don't let it disappear entirely. Background is explanation. Red herrings are clues. <g> Basic difference. Flashbacks and background explains actions or thoughts. Red herrings always lead into the future. They're clues about what to look for later. Introduce them as needed. Because the other thing that writers do is introduce it all upfront and leave nothing for later. I don't need to know that she grew up poor until it becomes important in the story. Don't tell me in chapter one unless the conversation is important in chapter one. If money doesn't become an issue until chapter four, then don't introduce it in chapter one. What I try to tell people is try to bring in background as a "live" function of the plot. If you introduce it through dialogue, then it's live and can only be done when it's necessary. If you introduce it as introspection (or thought), then it's usually being brought in at the wrong time. Usually, not always. Introspection should only be used as motivation. A character is acting the way they are because this is what's driving that action or dialogue.
<AnnMarie> What about as dialogue tags?
<Bonnee> Yes, it can work that way. Around dialogue is keeping it live. Right now, in the moment. Better to have the thought surrounding the dialogue than use a flashback. Everyone's quiet and I've covered a LOT of ground... there HAVE to be questions.
<AnnMarie> How, exactly, is this to be applied to either piece we are working on? Line by line, or broader picture?
<Bonnee> I haven't managed it yet, but I'm determined to get on the Writers-L list, so feel free to drop questions there.
<Jocelyn> I slowly begin to understand a few things
* N`omi is busily writing a new twist to that opener!
<Bonnee> Okay, first you've got to look at the big picture. Is there a story question? Did they give me a hook to cling to and MAKE me want to keep reading? That's the big picture. Then you begin to break it down. Is this a character I care about? Do I honestly want to see them either achieve or fail in their goal? Finally, is the writing competent? Am I skipping whole phrases? Are they giving me a complete picture in my mind? This is how an editor reads a script. Basically, we're doing all these things at once, but it takes some practice. <g>
<Greg> Is that the key to keeping reader interest...caring about the character(s)?
<Bonnee> Yes. If I don't care about what happens to that person, then why keep reading? Believe me, nothing worse than a book about people you think are stupid or redundant or boring as heck. You need to care about what happens to them. And let me clarify that a bit more. Because it's not just what happens, but how they act and react. I just read a book for a contest that was chock full of "bad things happen to nice people". BORING! <g>. The character makes decisions and acts on those decisions. All future action should lead from what those decisions are. Yes, bad things do happen to nice people, but not in fiction. It's their actions that must set the plot in motion. They make a decision to act in a certain way and it either works or it blows up in their face. Again, we come back to investment. They need to invest themselves in what's happening or we're simply reading about a series of unfortunate events. (Like watching soap operas. They always have a really nice character who becomes the whipping boy. <g>) Not in fiction. The character drives the action. Their decisions set up future events. It invests them emotionally and, by nature of the best, invests the reader in the outcome. Think of it. Do you want to read about an explosion in a building or do you want to read about the people caught in that explosion? Why were they there? What happened to them? This isn't news. This is fiction. We read about people, not events.
<AnnMarie> The way I've seen it is the 'events' are what happen before the story begins.
<Bonnee> We want to care about these people. And, if bad things are happening because of fate....?
<AnnMarie> Then the characters actions and reactions to the event of fate or whatever, are what carry the story itself.
<Bonnee> We have no control over fate. She's a fickle thing. Yes, Ann Marie. What did the characters do? How do they react? How do they deal with this tragedy? We want them to be strong and win in the end. We all want this. The good guy wins and the bad guy loses. It can't happen if we're not emotionally invested. And, if they're not invested in the outcome (driving the events), then how can we be invested? Does that make sense?
<N`omi> yes!
<AnnMarie> Very neatly put, Bonnee.
<Bonnee> Okay, we have a new file this week. And I'm going to get Greg to also post his editing form. I want you to read the chapter. Then read the form and read the chapter again. Answer those questions and score it. In the meantime, this week, I'm going to edit the chapter. I'm going to show you what I do. Then it might make more sense. We're going to talk about what we've read. I'll tell you what I see and then I'm going to show you how I'd take this chapter and make it more presentable. Make sense?
<MargareTZ> yes
<N`omi> yes
<Bonnee> Kewl. Figure it might make more sense to actually see what I do. Then we can discuss this. I'll have that ready for next week, but first I'd like you to read and fill in the form. I'll give you specifics about what I've done.
<Greg> Yes...just the first chapter or the whole piece?
<Bonnee> We'll start with the first chapter. Because questions we bring up about the first chapter might affect the whole piece. So let's start small and work up from there. If you want to read ahead, fine. No complaints, but just work on the first chapter. Okay?
<Greg> Sounds great
<MargareTZ> Sounds good to me.
<N`omi> deal!
<AnnMarie> Sounds good to me. A tiny note from the author. Please, please don't be afraid to express your honest opinions.

Session Close: Sun Mar 26 04:33:36 2000