WORK:The Law Is The Law - Editorial by AnnePhyllisPinzow

One of my all time favorite operettas became that way a long time ago when I saw the incomparable Grocho Marx on television in the role of Ko-Ko, the Lord High Executioner in Gilbert and Sullivan's "Mikado: The Town of Titipu".

I'll never forget his rollicking rendition of "As Some Day It May Happen," where he tells the audience that if he ever runs out of people to meet his needed quota of executions, "I've got a little list," which includes several so called irritating types of individuals who "never would be missed, they never would be missed."

Nor will I ever forget Dennis King as the Mikado singing, "My object all sublime, I shall achieve in time--, to let the punishment fit the crime--
The punishment fit the crime." The punishment, and there seemed to be only one this guy could think of, was beheading.

Of course, in light of recent events, what once seemed a hilarious polemic to a 10-year-old on the means by which society, or some power holding individuals, make up laws to suit their doubtful purposes, does not seem all that funny anymore.
Well, in truth, there are still a few exceptions.

One such is the movie, "Smokey and the Bandit," where Burt Reynold's as 'the Bandit' was chased all over the southern states by the legendary Jackie Gleason, as the 'Smokey,' or chief of police.

In his efforts to save face and that of his bumbling son who was left at the alter by Sally Fields, Gleason did whatever it took to achieve his version of justice, most often by breaking the law, generally preceded by him declaring to all who could hear that "The law is the law."

This same cry of "The law is the law," was not too many months ago resounded in a little town, down Livingtson St. way in New Jersey called, Southwood.

Elected officials proclaimed from their seats behind the dais that from this day forth, let it be known by all that the borough's ordinances would be followed without exception.
"Just because things had been done one way, that doesn't mean it was right," declared one such councilman as judgments were (as it later turned out illegally) summarily handed out to one or two who had followed standard operating procedures instead of the strict interpretation of, (drum roll here please) the law.

It's nice to know that in developing laws and following them in this borough justice is blind, but sometimes it's blinder than others.
And it came to pass that a member of the police force, who had worked hard and long, looking for weaknesses and indiscretions in his fellow officers, had soon found himself put to the test, so to speak.

Only, in his particular case, legend has it (actually court records show), the test was handed to him two days ahead of time by some law "makers," to insure that when he needed the answers, he'd already have them, thereby setting a great example to the community, especially the children, that when it counts the most, if you don't know, cheat. "The law is the law."

Shortly after this it was foreseen that in not too many more years it would again become time to select a new chief protector of the innocent and upholder of the law.
Unfortunately, none of the possible candidates for this lauded position had met a primary requirement for the lesser positions of lieutenant and captain set forth in Chapter 50 Section 3 (Amended 6-6-2001 by Ordinance. No. 01:16), that is none had a college degree. However, the requirement did not go into effect for four years giving all the candidates time to obtain the required education.

As an example to the community and especially the children of good family values and the necessity of becoming as educated and knowledgeable about their jobs as possible, and showing respect for the law, none did.

No such requirements were set forth for the position of chief of police, who, ironically at the time, also did not have a college degree.

However, lawmakers in Southwood had already shown what they can do with their laws.
Three candidates came forth, none of which met the standard of education, holding a college degree, set forth for the lesser positions.

And so Southwood's lawmakers went to work.

First they retired one police chief as of February 15. Then, they held interviews and chose a candidate for chief and another for captain.

Ah, but there was that pesky law that stated that in the interim, between the retirement of one chief and the hiring of the other, the captain would take over the responsibilities of the chief.

In the interests of budgetary concerns, Southwood had had no captain for years. But this hadn't mattered because none of the candidates for police chief qualified for the position of police captain either.

Uh, did we miss something here? Since none of the candidates met the minimum standards for a lesser position, the nominating committee decided to kick one of them upstairs, so to speak. One of the candidates, who by law, didn't qualify for the position, would be made captain and another candidate, who didn't qualify for lieutenant, let alone captain, would be made police chief.

But the law is the law.

So, in the paraphrased words of one of the most famous, if Southwood's majority office holders would excuse the expression, Democrats of all time, Franklin D. Roosevelt, who said, "When you don't have a law allowing you to do what you want, make one," they changed the law and quickly abolished the part about the captain taking over the position. In fact they completely abolished the position of captain but created the position of acting interim chief. Of course, this position does not require anything like a college education.

And as for tests for police chief, well, we've already seen an example of how some people handle tests. So what if such tests are required in almost every borough in the state? The majority decided that to ask someone to take such an exam would be an insult.

I wonder how they'd feel if it were considered an insult too for teachers, lawyers and doctors to take examines to determine their worthiness for their positions? Aren't Police Chiefs supposed to set the standard for the rank and file? Don't Police Chiefs hold our lives in their hands, and most often at the most critical of times?

Ah, but I digress. The changing of the law to suit the situation all happened with swift efficiency on the same night that the name of the new acting interim police chief was announced.

However, now after exhausting themselves in that swift race to establish the legality of acting interim police chief, Southwood's lawmakers have decided that they will have to think long and hard about fulfilling their implied promise to another candidate about becoming captain. As one 'lawmaker' said, there is no hurry and another said, "We just didn't have the time."

After all, the law is the law and there is no longer the position of Captain in Southwood's Police Department. And, after all, it might not fit in the budget. And what's a promise after all, possibly nothing but political expediency.

Of course, as in the case of the Mikado's Lord High Executioner, we are repeatedly told that nothing is done in Southwood for political reasons. They're just following the law, because the law is the law, is the law.

Workshop:The Mikado, Smokey and the Bandit and Southwood - Where the law is the law, unless something better can be arranged by Anne Phyllis Pinzow

Workshop:The Mikado, Smokey and the Bandit and Southwood - Where the law is the
law, unless something better can be arranged
by
Anne Phyllis Pinzow