WORK:Finding The POV Character

Grey Rock People

Beginning:

Bobby and Darrin, 16 year-old twin brothers, are out of the Space Rover first as their parents close down the ship in preparation of the family’s first walk on the planet’s surface. Originally from Earth, the twins’ family are all scouts looking for habitable planets in Section G of this star system. The huge spaceship that housed over 1,000 Earthlings was high up in space while scout teams like the twins’ family landed on planet surfaces to collect samples and assess the planet’s viability for a settlement.

The boys roamed a bit too far away from their parents as the assessment went on and Bobby found an unusual large grayish rock. When he nudged it with his foot it yelped and morphed into a young girl who was grayish in color as well. But in all other aspects she was a real-looking girl with the most amazing sapphire colored eyes that Bobby seemed to fall into.

Darrin came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder. At his touch, Bobby snapped out of whatever it was and the girl gasped and ran away. Always looking for adventure, the boys gave chase and ran headlong into a trap! They were caught in a large almost invisible grey net – everything on this planet came in shades of grey – and a large man who looked old as well as grey came to stand in front of them and spoke in a very loud demanding tone. . Bobby noticed the girl with the colorful eyes standing near the old grey man and stared at her motioning her to help. She turned away and ran into the grey bushes. With their only ally gone, the boys – frightened for their lives -- radioed for help.

¼ pt:

The Greys, as Darrin began to call them, got very upset when Bobby used his radio beacon to call for help and the Greys raced towards the boys and pulled the radio beacon from their landing jumpsuits.

Some time later, the camp quieted down; the boys assumed the Greys were asleep. They looked all around them and saw no sign of their parents. The radio call probably didn’t get through after all the boys whispered to one another. Suddenly, out of the grey gloom, the young girl with the brilliant eyes came towards them. She put her finger to her mouth and silently came over and loosed their netting. She set them free! She looked terrified and Bobby wanted to take her with them. Darrin told him not to. The girl laid her hand on Bobby’s arm and he stared at her as if transfixed for several long moments. Darrin called urgently to Bobby to come on and Bobby began pulling the girl along. She went along at first and then she struggled and whimpered and finally screamed out waking the other Greys. Bobby and Darrin had to get out of there – pronto!

½ pt:

Bobby and Darrin split up to create as much confusion as possible. Bobby ran and ran but he began feeling a hot streaking pain in his side and he collapsed the world going black before his eyes. Darrin ran and somehow remembered the way back and found his parents and told them the planet was inhabited and that Bobby was somewhere back there. Darrin told them about the girl with the sapphire eyes, the only thing of color they saw on their entire adventure.

Their parents didn’t know what to make of their story. Perhaps it was nothing more than youthful imagination. Darrin insisted that was not the case and said that Bobby was still missing was that not proof enough?

Their parents decided to take it seriously and got the land rover out as well as their Tasers; they even gave one to Darrin. And they followed his directions as to where the Greys settlement was located. Fearing another trap, Darrin’s dad, Flint, got out of the vehicle and circled the settlement doing recon (he was ex-military). Through his radio beacon he was able to confirm all that Darrin said was true. Flint saw Greys moving about and saw Bobby, the only bit of color around save for his navy blue landing jumpsuit, slumped and unmoving in a clearing to the east end of the settlement. And he was being guarded by the girl with the sapphire eyes!

Flint called a fallback retreat and the remaining three family members talked the situation over. The girl was not like the rest. The others’ eyes were either a dull grey or a milky white. Did the girl possess some special kind of power which is why she had the brilliant eyes? Is that why she was guarding Bobby? Or, was she his protector?

The family planned to storm the settlement when the Greys were all asleep and take them by surprise. Flint assumed that the Tasers would damage the Greys as it damaged most other beings and they all took positions around the east end of the settlement where Bobby was being held. They prayed he was still alive and just unconscious.

¾ pt:

What the family didn’t notice was the large grey rocks all around the spot they chose for their meeting. Just as they were about to move out the rocks morphed into men with ferocious looking bows and arrows. The whole family was trapped!

They were marched into the clearing where Bobby was slumped next to Blue, the name the family gave to the Grey girl with the sapphire eyes. To their surprise, Bobby began to move and stood up but it wasn’t Bobby, it was a Grey in the landing jumpsuit! Where was Bobby??!!?? The girl looked frightened and backed away at the Earthling’s astonished faces and ran off into the Grey bushes.

The old grey man came up and placed his hands on Flint’s shoulders and stared straight into his eyes. Flint grit his teeth in preparation for death or pain or something but what came was…words!

Who are you? What do you want with us? Why are you here?

Flint yelled out that he wanted his son. The conversation began to flow more smoothly when Flint thought the answers. The Greys were a non-violent people, except when threatened. They were feeling very threatened just now their leader told Flint. Bobby was taken and was being held in a type of stasis until the strangers’ intentions were made clear.

Flint said all he wanted was Bobby back and they would leave them alone. But the Grey leader wanted more. He didn’t believe them. Why did the Bobby want to steal their treasure? He tried to take their treasure by force. What was the meaning of this?

Flint had no idea what treasure the Grey leader referred to until Darrin yelled that he meant Blue. Flint thought fast and said that Bobby might have thought that the treasure was lost and wanted to help it.

The leader laughed and said that was a clever lie and ordered them all put to death unless the Flint told the truth. They had 1 demorath to decide.

First they had to figure out how long a demorath was, and then secondly figure out what lie to tell the Grey leader that he would believe since the truth wasn’t working. Securely trapped in a large grey netting in a wide open area, the demoralized family unit sat glumly realizing they would probably never see their ship again when Blue snuck up to them.

She placed a hand on the mother’s hand to establish a connection.

I fear I have put you all in danger.

The mother, Iris, laughed at the absurdity of the girl. Iris was so frustrated that she was liable to cry at any moment but had to keep her head. Blue informed them that she was the first one in 6 generations that had come with the power of color. All things in their world was blundit except for her eyes. With the power within her at maturity she would be able to infuse sumdit into all things and bring their planet back to its former glory for another thousand years. But, if she was killed before maturity or maimed in any way, she would not be able to revive the world and they would have to wait another 6 generations for another child with sumdit to revive the world. This is why she is called their treasure. But, she wants to leave. She told all of this to Bobby which is why he tried to take her with him but he failed and now she was forever stuck on Blunditaä – their planet.

When Iris told Darrin and Flint what she said, Darrin got mad and said that she had to be lying because she did not come willingly she fought and screamed which is how they got caught in the first place!

Flint grabbed her by the neck in fury and Blue screamed waking the other Greys!

Ending:

The Greys came out of all corners and down from trees and were all armed. Flint refused to let go of his grip on Blue until they showed him that Bobby was still alive.

The leader acquiesced and Bobby was brought forward some several minutes later sans his suit and he was breathing just fine and looked well except for his skin, it was a bit grayish.

Flint felt something was wrong, something was terribly wrong. He thought at Blue and asked her what was wrong with Bobby and what was the real truth or else he’d kill her and he gripped her throat so severely she gasped causing all the Greys to drop to their knees throwing down their weapons.

Blue told him that in her immaturity she had no power at all. Her only power was the fact that at maturity she would be all-powerful. As such, she was abused and brutalized by one and all because she could do nothing to defend herself. As long as she was not hurt or maimed, anyone could do anything to Blue. It was also part of their tradition. Everything that is except try and steal her. But, she had one wish. In her whole puberty she was given 1 wish that had to be obeyed.

Flint’s stomach began to sink as Blue looked lovingly at Bobby.

Her wish was that Bobby would be made into a Grey so that she could mate with him at her maturity. Flint screamed and in his rage crushed Blue’s windpipe and killed her instantly. The Greys lost all control and began fighting with the still trapped Earthlings.

Suddenly, from above streaks of blue lasers felled Greys all around them. With careful bursts of laser, the grey netting was vaporized and the family was free! Flint looked up and saw the mobile air pods from the orbit ship and yelled to the others to run for the ladders suspended from the air pods.

Flint grabbed Bobby and hauled him along. They’d figure out how to change him back on the ship. There’d be no colonization going on here! The whole family got out safely and left the steaming mad Greys alone forever marking this star in Sector G as uninhabitable for all who came behind them.

DISCUSSION AND HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: A Wimp a POV Character is not!!

What do you think of this novella outline? Good? Plausible characters? See anything that rubs you the wrong way? Look closely at it. What do you think?

Let me help you out. Who is the POV character? What are they doing? Are they proactive? Or, are they passive?

That’s precisely it – the first problem is there is NO real POV character in this story! That’s the first problem. The second problem is every single character in this outline is not proactive, not one of them DOES anything to help themselves out of the situation. The closest one who comes to action is the father, Flint. But, at best, he is an onlooker to the situation.

Think about it. What is the role of the POV character? It is the perspective from which the reader will enter the story and more importantly, the angle by which the action of the story is supposed to be driven.

Take for example a typical romance novel, say a Harlequin romance. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl does not like boy. Situation arises that forces boy and girl to work together. Boy tries to use the situation to get closer to the girl. Girl throws in a curveball by pulling out a boyfriend that boy didn’t know existed.

See this structure? We see immediately who the action centers upon – the boy and the girl. We see the conflict – the boy wants the girl, the girl doesn’t want the boy. But, something brings them together so they have to work with one another (probably of the boy’s doing!). Do we have this in Rock People? No.

We have a crew – one of many – heading for a star looking for an uninhabited planet to colonize. They experience a problem while on the surface and none of them does not act with any authority, or moral conscience such as following some sort of protocol say like contacting the orbiting ship (which should be mandatory in all first contact cases!!). The crew member (an underage kid) decides to "save" a native who has ambiguous emotions to say the least.

Let’s be more precise. If a true hero was in this situation would they just attempt to take the girl without trying to find out what the real story was? Would they just take her away without consulting their companions? Doing some reconnassiance? Bobby could have contacted the orbiting ship and relayed what the girl relayed to him and have them check their database to see if anything remotely like it has ever been encountered before and if so, what course of action should be taken.

None of this was done. All actions are based on emotionalism and are made blindly without any well-thought out plan of action. A hero (the POV character usually) has a plan of action. The POV character moves the story forward to the next plot point methodically. None of the characters in Rock People move the story forward. This whole outline is nothing but a series of scenes that are dramatic, yes, but have no real driving point. What’s the plot? Who has something to gain, or lose? What or who is the reader rooting for? In Rock People – nobody. Everybody loses in this story. The Greys lose their treasure. The crew now has a son to try and make human again. And the biggest loss of all – another planet is marked as uninhabitable.

Another way to look at the characters in this outline is that they are all wimps or pawns in someone else’s drama; in someone else’s story. Who stands to benefit most by these various crews going from planet to planet to see if they are inhabitable? The organization that sent them in the first place! The people onboard that orbiting ship would be a great place for the POV character to be located. This is where the action really takes place.

Say the Chancellor is the head of the Council that elected this project be undertaken in this particular star system. Then any failures would be felt directly on the Chancellor’s chin. He or she would be held responsible for ANYTHING that happens to ANY of the crews that are searching for suitable planets. The choosing of the crews, the deployment of said crews and all that happens on each crew’s landing all are the ultimate responsibility of the Chancellor.

So, in Rock People, the real POV character is not ever seen! Flint, Iris, Bobby and Darrin are all pawns in the Chancellor’s game. And, as true pawns – they don’t DO anything to help themselves. In the end, who saved the Earthlings on Blunditaä? They clearly did nothing to save themselves. They were waiting for death (wimps!!!). Someone on the orbiting ship was watching over them and gave an order to rescue them. That person is the POV character and that person is – the Chancellor.

Jacqueline Lichtenberg and Jean Lorrah (my writing teachers) helped sink this valuable lesson in my head while deconstructing published stories while simultaneously working on creating a publishable story idea.

Some of the stories I deconstructed are Witch Hill by Marion Zimmer Bradley; Cuckoo’s Egg by C.J. Cherryh; The Warrior Within by Sharon Green; and Two to Conquer also by Marion Zimmer Bradley. These stories were all chosen to show me a lesson. Analyzed individually you come away with a great deal of information about how each book was put together. But taken as a group, you can learn great lessons in how to handle the "pawn" archetype in contemporary literature.

In Witch Hill, the main character (POV character) is young Sara. She is a woman who doesn’t know her father’s family’s sordid past. It was purposefully kept from her as she was the unfortunate heiress of a legacy that almost no one would want. When Sara finds out about her family’s past what does she do? She cries a lot. She whines. She mopes and she tries to run away. She’s a real wimp. But the theme of the book saves her. She’s a pawn in the overarching story arc which is a universal theme of karma and love – but, she’s still a wimp. Ms. Bradley is a master story-teller which is why she made a wimp as a POV character WORK. This is not an exercise for the feint of heart!

Let’s look at Cuckoo’s Egg next. In this story, the main/POV character is Thorn. He is a Man transplanted from Earth to this non-human world filled with ape-like creatures called Shounin. He is the ONLY human being on the planet – but for most of the book he doesn’t know it! He’s raised as Shounin and taught as Shounin. Thorn doesn’t know his purpose; he has no raison d’etre as the French say. He’s a wimp right? Wrong. As the book moves forward, carried by Thorn’s actions, we find out that this "wimp" has a lot of strength and courage. While in a wimpy situation, (what is technically called a "hung hero" – a hero who is hung-up and can’t do anything to affect his/her situation) the actions he engages in shows the kind of stuff he’s made withof – hero material!

In the end, Thorn realizes what his purpose is and it’s really important. The ending makes the reader see just how much Thorn was NEVER a wimp. It was the voice and style and the technique of information feed that C.J. Cherryh used to that conveyed all of the action to the reader that weaves a spell that is not easily broken.

A wimp doesn’t do anything about his or her situation except lament and whine about it. Sometimes they engage in half-hearted actions that end in failure due to their lack of internal drive – but that’s the definition of wimpy, isn’t it?? A two foot soldier who has the heart to go up against an 8-foot giant. Is that a wimp? Nope. The two foot soldier is actually a giant at heart.

The Warrior Within and Two to Conquer both show POV characters that are in pawn positions but because of the inner strength residing in each character, they are able to turn the situation into a battlefield thus making their "wimp" position extremely questionable.

In Warrior Within, Terilian is a highly trained operative whothat is tricked into going undercover to a planet where women are owned and dominated by men. The women must obey their male owners and are subject to each and every whim of their owners and can be ‘used for pleasure’ and shared with other men if their owner so chooses. But Terilian is a highly trained and valuable operative – why is she put in this position? Because only the best operative could do the job and the best was Terilian. So, the best had to dummied-y down to fit into a pawn position. How do you think that situation went? If you guessed fiery, you’d be right. Read the book to find out how it played out!

In Two to Conquer, the pawn character is Paul Harrell. But from his very character sketch he doesn’t fit the role of a pawn at all! However, that’s the role he must play in this particular drama for the rest of the story to continue. How do you have a strong non-pawn character function in a pawn role? This book, written by Marion Zimmer Bradley shows you how it’s done. It’s tricky; it calls for lots of expertise with writing craft, but it can be managed if you know what you’re doing.

These four books showed me quite clearly what a true pawn was and more importantly – what a pawn wasn’t. Terilian was no one’s subject – she was a very clever and intuitive agent that saved the butt of several people throughout the story while in her "pawn" role. Her actions showed her owner that in all important areas this wenda (woman) was really a warrior. For example, Terilian has the psychic ability to influence the minds of man and beast. She felt the rage and fear from something and immediately pinpointed it to a raging animal called a seetar. If it continued its rampage it would trample many people.

Even though Terilian knew she could be punished by her male owner if she did anything he did not instruct her to do she calmed the raging seetar and brought it to heel with her abilities. Do you know she was punished for doing this? Terilian knew the consequences of her actions yet she still acted! That is the essence of what a true hero is. A wimp or a pawn will fold in the face of reality – like Sara of Witch Hill. In the end, Sara is saved by the man who loves her. (Granted she saved his life at the decisive moment, but she gave up the idea of saving herself. She didn’t feel she was important enough to bother trying to save her own life! WIMP!!)

HOMEWORK: Okay, now it’s your turn. Look at some of your favorite novels, or look at the novels presented in this article and see if you can spot the wimpy POV characters. Then, try your hand at creating your very own wimpy/pawn character and create a story around him or her. And stick to keeping this person wimpy and ineffectual! (I know, I know. It’s going to be tough.) The goal is to show yourself that you can identify in your own writing what is a real character as opposed to what is a character no one wants to read about.

If you want an example of how to deconstruct a novel so you can see the bare bone skeleton that the published author used to create that great book click on the following link and you’ll see my Essence of Story Lesson 6 exercise which lays out the deconstruction in 5 beats – beginning, ¼ point, ½ (or middle point), ¾ point and ending. You’ll see how I originally did this exercise, the comments by my teachers and peers, and my second attempt at this deconstruction. Hopefully, within all of the comments you will begin unraveling your own misconceptions about what a true POV character is and what place a wimp should have in your story – no place!

Until next time – live long and prosper.

All the best,

Rochelle "Shelly" Campbell