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Radio Play
Example 1
(return to Syllabus for
The Radio Play Course)

This radio play is an absurd parody on ‘The Blair Witch Project’!  Study it carefully as a prime example of how to structure your own radio play or parody.
 

THE
SPECTER


Episode Nine:
"THE BEWITCHED PROJECT"
Copyright 1999
by

Joe Doran
published here by arrangement with the author

Produced by High Window RadioClassics Theatre. Presented on July 30th, 1999 at The Cubbyhole Coffeehouse, Poughkeepsie, NY. Broadcast live on WHVW 950 AM, Hyde Park, NY..  See: http://www.freeyellow.com/members6/jpdoran/index.html

 

CAST

Brett Owen: Announcer/Marie/Rev. Boyer
Victor Small: Chantelouve
Amy Byrne: Patti
Renee DePietro: Lucy Barnes
Stephen R. Brinckerhoff: Omega/Assistant
Anthony Puccio: Police Commissioner
Joe Doran: The Specter/Jack Tollman
Foley effects by Debbie Puccio


FADE IN:
A Radio Station. AT RISE: AN ANNOUNCER SPEAKS.

Intro music.


ANNOUNCER
Citizens of our great nation, it is now 8:05 PM. Time for dusk to give way to darkness. But take heart. Though crimes will surely be committed this evening, evil shall not prevail. Greed, cruelty, lust betrayal-when conscience fails, beware the voice from without:

THE SPECTER
You will be judged.

ANNOUNCER
The voice of...the Specter.

Sounds of a Press conference.

ASSISTANT
Listen up! The Police Commissioner has a statement. He will then take questions if you have all shut up long enough to know which ones to ask.

POLICE COMMISSIONER
Good morning. As you know, a week ago, several individuals-including some prominent members of this community--were reported missing. Last night, six audio tape reels were dug up from the basement of a location known as The Derwood House...

A buzz goes through the press. "That place is a horror house..." etc.

POLICE COMMISSIONER
...Our experts have examined these tapes. They appear to represent recordings made by the six individuals in the hours leading up to their disappearance.

Chaos of voices.

ASSISTANT
Pipe down! You are not an audience! You are the press! Do want the story? Then shut up!

POLICE COMMISSIONER
We have used these tapes to piece together an audio timeline of events. To sum up, we are doing all we can to find these people.

Silence.

ASSISTANT
Well? Don't you have any questions? What's the matter? Speak up!

GLOBE REPORTER
Commissioner! The Globe. What were these people doing at the Derwood House?

POLICE COMMISSIONER
We haven't determined-

HERALD REPORTER
Commissioner, you say you have an audio tape you've pieced together. Where is it?

POLICE COMMISSIONER
It's with me.

HERALD REPORTER
Can we listen to it?

POLICE COMMISSIONER
The contents of the audio tape are graphic and shocking.

RADIO REPORTER
Get a live radio feed!

Radio Music. Sudden cut-out.

ANNOUNCER
WHVW interrupts our normal programming to bring you this breaking news. Police have uncovered audio tape at the infamous Derwood House relating to the disappearance of several prominent persons of our community. Warning: This audio contains graphic and shocking content. Not at all like the new 100 Edison light bulb, which provides warm, comforting, and safe illumination for the entire family...

Jingle: "When you want it lighter, Edison makes it brighter, buy only Edison bulbs..."

ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
And now, the Derwood tapes...

Tape noise.

Creaky door. Piano note, repeating intermittently. Heavy breathing.

PATTI
Oh my god, Miss Barnes...we're only just inside the front door, and I hear something already...

LUCY
Relax, Patti. It's just an old house.

PATTI
Oh, no it's not, Miss Barnes! This is the Derwood House! Everybody knows about this house! It's...it's BeWitched!

LUCY
Well. I'm glad we got that out of the way.

PATTI
Goodbye, Miss Barnes!

LUCY
Cut it out, Patti! Now look, I got a tip something was happening here. But it won't make the front page without photos. So I don't care if you give up the ghost--hold on to your camera!

PATTI
Yes, Miss Barnes. I'm sorry I'm not living up to your example. You are just...so out there, and, well, you so fully inhabit your own feminine strength, and I just really admire you, and did I tell you I have sketches for the design of a bra I thought would really accentuate your assertiveness?...

LUCY
Stop stalling, Patti. Move.

PATTI
Oh, all right!
(beat)
Did I mention the bra is meant to demystify the whole concept of breasts?

LUCY
Around that corner.

The piano note repeats faster, as the breathing turns to gasping.

PATTI
There's going to be something there, Miss Barnes! I just know it! Something awful!
(beat)
Aaaaaaahhhhh! A decapitated head!

LUCY
Patti! Patti! It's not decapitated!

PATTI
It's not?

LUCY
No. Not exactly, anyway. It's Mr. Chantelouve, the book editor. Remember?

PATTI
You mean the one who got crushed by a boat and stuff? Oh, look! He's playing piano. With his teeth.

LUCY
Don't stare.

PATTI
And there's Mr. Jack Tollman!
(beat)
I thought you said not to stare, Miss Barnes.

LUCY
Shut up.

JACK
Well, Chantelouve. Looks like you've got that C note down pat.

CHANTELOUVE
Ah, Messier Jack Tollman! I might have known you would appear at this unusual gathering. Marie, turn my head.

MARIE
Yes, Messier Chantelouve.

CHANTELOUVE
I was just playing the second movement of an atonal masterpiece by Shoenberg. But, I could hardly expect a dissolute playboy to be familiar with crucial works of post-modern music.

JACK
I didn't know there were any. So. This your party, Chantelouve?

CHANTELOUVE
No. I am a guest here, Messier Tollman. Like you.

JACK
Well I hope you got permission to tongue the piano. Myself, I don't usually go for soirees in condemned buildings. But when someone slips a note under my pillow while I'm still sleeping on it, that gets my attention.

LUCY
Someone sneaking out of bed before Jack Tollman? I didn't think that was possible.

JACK
Evening, Miss Barnes.

LUCY
If I recall, you mentioned once how you're an early riser, Tollman.

JACK
What does that have to do with getting out of bed?

LUCY
Okay. Apparently we've all been invited here by an unknown host. So what do we do now?

PATTI
Um...we could listen to Mr. Chantelouve tongue the piano some more.

CHANTELOUVE
I'm afraid my technique is somewhat limited by a lack of appendages. I'm aided, of course, by the life support machines around me. But then, Messier Tollman, being the source of my injuries at various times and places, hardly needs to be apprised of such things.

JACK
Well, look at the bright side side, Chantelouve. At least Patti, here, didn't request ragtime.

OMEGA
Good evening. Thank you all for coming. I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long. My name is Anton Omega...and I am your host. Now. Let's see. Are we missing anyone?

PATTI
Well, um...part of someone. Mr. Chantelouve.

LUCY
Patti!--

OMEGA
I believe I'm expecting one more guest...

REVEREND BOYER
(from a distance)
Dear Lord! What kind of an unholy abode is this?

OMEGA
That appears to be him now. The Reverend Boyer.

REVEREND BOYER
I've been wandering around for five minutes, and I haven't seen one appetizer tray!

OMEGA
Forgive me, Reverend. Food and drink will be forthcoming.

REVEREND BOYER
I should hope so. I came here straight from mass. I brought a few wafers. I thought this might be pot luck.

LUCY
Great. All we need now is cheese spread.

OMEGA
I'm sure you're all wondering why you were invited here, this evening. The reason is simple. Each of you, in the past few months, has had an encounter of one kind or another with an entity known as...The Specter.

PATTI
It's true, Miss Barnes! I met the Specter in an alley!

LUCY
Yeah, well I haven't. I ran down every lead on that story, Omega. Never bumped into the Specter once.

OMEGA
Perhaps not directly, Miss Barnes. But time after time as you've covered stories, the Specter has certainly been near you.

JACK
What's your interest in the Specter, Mr. Omega?

OMEGA
Actually, I was wondering what the Specter's interest is in me, Mr. Tollman. You see, this residence-the Derwood House-is mine. And the Specter is haunting me.

Murmers of reaction.

REVEREND BOYER
Excuse me, Mr. Omega. Are we to believe that this dwelling is possessed of a supernatural spirit?

OMEGA
That's right, Reverend.

REVEREND BOYER
Well, that's all right. I have my crucifix. And pocket bible. And a 38 snub-nose revolver with custom hollow-point bullets that shatter bone, for slow suffering. If any of you are psychos, I just thought you should know that.

OMEGA
I am determined to discover the truth behind the Specter, Reverend. With all of us gathered here in this house tonight, I am certain the Specter will appear.

LUCY
Well. The Specter may be interested in this little party, Mr. Omega. But I'm not. I've got news to cover. Good night.

OMEGA
Anyone who stays will receive an equal share of this!

Murmers.

PATTI
Miss Barnes! That suitcase Mr. Omega is holding! It's loaded with money!

OMEGA
One-hundred-thousand dollars.

CHANTELOUVE
Marie! Lift my head up! I want to see!

MARIE
You can't, Messier Chantelouve. You're blind.

CHANTELOUVE
Oh. That's right. My eyes are glazed over with milky puss. A result of my accidents, eh, Mr. Tollman?

JACK
You know, Chantelouve, no matter how many times you tell me that, I never tire of forgetting it.

CHANTELOUVE
Messier Omega! If I can reveal who the Specter is right now, will you give me the hundred thousand dollars?

OMEGA
Yes, Messier Chantelouve-if you could prove it to my satisfaction.

CHANTELOUVE
Very well, then! The Specter...is Jack Tollman!

OMEGA
What makes you think it's Mr. Tollman?

CHANTELOUVE
Who else could it be? Mr. Tollman is a dark, enigmatic man-

LUCY
So is Mr. Omega.

OMEGA
Correct, Miss Barnes. But then, given the powers of illusion involved, the Specter might just as easily be a woman.

MARIE
Who says it's easy being a woman?

REVEREND
I agree with Mr. Omega. This Specter is assuredly an unclean spirit. Capable of possessing any form or object. In fact, I sense an evil presence right now in that suitcase of money. So, I'll be happy to take it away...

OMEGA
You'll get your fair share of money if you stay until morning, Reverend.

REVEREND
But I don't want to spend the night! I've seen things like this before! The priest is always the first to go!

OMEGA
Here, Reverend. Take one of these sound recorders. If anything supernatural occurs, you'll have evidence. Here's one for you, Mr. Tollman. Miss Barnes.

PATTI
Oh, Miss Barnes doesn't need a sound recorder, Mr. Omega. She's already got one strapped to her! Woops. I wasn't supposed to mention that, was I, Miss Barnes...

LUCY
No Patti.

PATTI
Oh well! Don't worry! We can always erase it later!

Tape noise. Commercial music.

ANNOUNCER
We will return to episode nine of The Specter, "The Bewitched Project", after these commercial messages...

[COMMERCIALS]

Commercial music.

ANNOUNCER
We now return to episode nine of The Specter, "The Bewitched Project", presented by High Window RadioClassics Theatre on WHVW...

Tape noise.

CHANTELOUVE
Where are we, Marie?

MARIE
Our bedroom quarters, Messier Chantelouve.

CHANTELOUVE
Good. Close the door.

A door closing.

CHANTELOUVE
Now. We must devise a plan to get that suitcase of money, while these idiots chase ghosts. As Nietze well-observed, the supernatural, at bottom, is nothing but...

Tape noise.

CHANTELOUVE
...crack in the facade of our ignorance. This is apparent in Kierkegard's undo spiritual regard for...

Tape noise.

CHANTELOUVE
...play into an overblown metaphysics. Still, when one considers that, in Totality and Infinity, the broad strokes...

Tape noise.

CHANTELOUVE
...his diction too long and hard even for someone of my prodigious capacities...Marie! Will you stop clicking that sound recorder on and off! Can't you get it to work?

MARIE
Yes. I was just editing for content.

CHANTELOUVE
A mansion like this must have the usual secret passageways. We will use these to spirit away the suitcase and make our exit. Well?

MARIE
Well what?

CHANTELOUVE
Are you looking for a secret passageway?

MARIE
No. I'm massaging my feet. I've had to carry you and your life support machines around all day.

CHANTELOUVE
Perhaps if you didn't insist on wearing high heels... Marie! Marie! Where are you taking my head?

MARIE
I just noticed a passageway you might fit through!

A plop into water.

CHANTELOUVE
(echoing)
All right, Marie. Where have you placed me? It feels wet.

MARIE
Any more talk about my heels and it's going to feel mushy as well!

CHANTELOUVE
Marie! Marie, I'm warning you!--

Ceramic lid closing. Muffled sounds continue.

MARIE
Sorry, Messier Chantelouve. I can't hear you. The lid dropped.

Creaking sound.

MARIE
Messier Chantelouve! I just heard something! A creaking sound. From behind that wall!

A muffled response from Chantelouve.

MARIE
The lights have just gone out! Something...something's moving in the dark! Messier Chantelouve, help me! Now where did I put you, I can't see anything! I can't--!

Toilet flushing.

MARIE
Oh no. That's not what I wanted.

Muffled sounds of Chantelouve going down toilet. Tape noise.

OMEGA
Marie! Messier Chantelouve! It's me! Mr. Omega! The lights are out. I wanted to bring you this candle. Here we go. There, it's lit. I didn't mean to startle you. Are you all right?

MARIE
Mr. Omega, would you mind telling me...in which section of your grounds is the grass always greenest?

OMEGA
I believe the west grounds.

MARIE
Thank you. I think I'll go for a walk.

Tape noise. Transition music.

LUCY
This cellar is like a catacomb...a couple of old barrels...a dusty bookshelf...hey, wait a minute...this one here looks like it's just been opened. Great. A pin-up magazine. So evidently there's a dirty old groundskeeper around.

JACK
Hello, Miss Barnes.

LUCY
Or Jack Tollman.

JACK
Well. I guess we know what I was doing down here. How about you?

LUCY
Snooping. I don't trust our host.

JACK
He has an excellent wine cellar.

Bottle being uncorked.

JACK (CONT'D)
Want some?

LUCY
I'm working, Tollman.
(beat)
Why are you sticking around? Can't be for the dough. You've already got way more money than imagination.

JACK
Come on, Miss Barnes. You're an observant reporter. You know perfectly well what I'm doing here.

LUCY
What?

JACK
I'm haunting the place.

LUCY
Nah. I've seen the type of places you haunt, Tollman. The booze is harder and the pin-ups wear less.

JACK
No problem. I'll just drink double.

LUCY
Weird. I know we're in the cellar, but the ground under me feels soft. Like it's ready to give.

JACK
Where? Right here?

LUCY
That's close enough, Tollman.

JACK
Just trying to corroborate the story.

LUCY
Yeah, well don't get any funny...woahhh!

Dirt collapsing. Tape noise.

LUCY
(coughing)
Ow. My ankle. I'm too old for this Alice in Wonderland bit. Tollman! I think I fell down a hole! Are you up there?

JACK
No, Miss Barnes. I'm under you.

LUCY
What are you doing under me?

JACK
Trying to remain secure in my masculinity.

LUCY
How far down did we drop?

JACK
About fifteen feet.

LUCY
Do you have a light?

JACK
Yeah. But I left my cigarette case with the wine.

LUCY
I'm not asking for a smoke, Tollman! I'm trying to see where the hell we are!

A match being lit.

LUCY (CONT'D)
These walls. The way they're angled. It looks like...some kind of creepy maze.

JACK
Uh-huh.

LUCY
Well? Any suggestions?

JACK
Yeah. Two of 'em. Number one: don't bother asking the guy next to you how to get out.

LUCY
Guy next to me...? Aaah! A skeleton!

JACK
And number two: don't read the note he's holding. It's probably chock full of negative thinking.

LUCY
Of course we have to read it, Tollman! This wasn't written by the skeleton. It would've disintegrated a long time ago.

Paper unfolding.

LUCY
Oh god...

JACK
What's it say?

LUCY
It says... "What would the Specter do?"

Transition music. Thunder and lightening. Hammering.

PATTI
There! I'm done nailing, Reverend Boyer! Is this cross big enough?

REVEREND BOYER
Why, that's...very realistic Patti!

PATTI
Yeah! I actually tried to build it large and strong enough to hang a real person. See? There are these extra diagonal strut supports, for when somebody nailed to it passes out from loss of blood, and they begin to sag down...

REVEREND BOYER
Yes, very diligent, child. Now, why don't you place it between those two large glass windows, lit every few moments by flashes of lightening...

PATTI
Okay, Reverend. Boy, I'm glad you noticed there weren't any cheery objects in this big spooky parlor.

OMEGA
Excuse me. Reverend Boyer?

REVEREND BOYER
Yes, Mr. Omega?

OMEGA
I heard a banging noise. Is everything all right?

REVEREND BOYER
It is now. Thanks to this divinely inspired young girl, I have managed to carve out a sacred space in this profane dwelling.

OMEGA
Yes. I see. You've also managed to carve up five genuine Louis the 14th chairs...and several panels from masterpieces by Breughel and Tintoretto.

PATTI
It's amazing what you can do with some old scrap wood.

OMEGA
Tell me, Reverend, do you really think a mere symbol could offer any real protection if you were in...mortal danger?

REVEREND BOYER
I have great faith in that cross, Mr. Omega.

OMEGA
Why? Because your savior died on one like it?

REVEREND BOYER
No. Because I instructed Patti not to bend the nails back. One whack from a piece of this would make the stigmata seem like a day at the beach.

OMEGA
Yes. These nails are quite sharp. One could easily prick oneself to bleed, as I am doing now...

REVEREND BOYER
Dear lord! You've poked that nail through your flesh!

PATTI
Gosh! This is my first time seeing someone perform a psychotic parlor trick.

OMEGA
It's no parlor trick, Patti. Things we don't understand often seem like magic to us. A frog-that quintessential ingredient of witch's brew--cuts its skin and is healed in bacteria-filled waters. Is this a supernatural act? Or is every mystery an ignorance? Come, Reverend. You're a schooled theologian. What's your view?

REVEREND BOYER
Actually, my views are closely aligned with James on these matters, Mr. Omega.

OMEGA
James the apostle?

REVEREND BOYER
No, James the gunfighter. Now stand back, you nutcake, or I'll shoot!

OMEGA
Is this how you perform exorcisms, Reverend? With a gun?

REVEREND BOYER
I'm fully aware that violence solves nothing, Mr. Omega. Then again, this isn't math class.

Six gun shots.

PATTI
Uh, Reverend Boyer. You just shot Mr. Omega to death.

REVEREND BOYER
No Patti. I beg to differ. If you look closely, you will observe that our host is still twitching.

PATTI
Oh. Yeah. I guess.

REVEREND BOYER
(grunting)
Oh, my...oops...!

Wood smacking into a body with a thud.

REVEREND BOYER
Oh, look! Your cross accidentally fell and crushed poor Mr. Omega, Patti.

PATTI
Oh no! I guess I should have secured it with Elmer's glue or something.

REVEREND BOYER
Don't worry, child. It'll be our little secret. Now. Mop up the blood. I'll get a hacksaw.

PATTI
Reverend Boyer! Look!

An ominous sound-not unlike the sound of the Specter...

PATTI (CONT'D)
Mr. Omega's body is turning into smoke! A swirling blackness! Wait! Reverend! Do you think Mr. Omega is really the Specter?

REVEREND BOYER
No! I think he's the devil! And I'm ready to bargain! All right, Lucifer! You win! Just tell me what you want me to do. Black mass at 12? No problem! I'll just re-work my sermon...

OMEGA
Yes, you do that Reverend...you may yet have one more opportunity to speak...before you and the others fade into silence!

Tape noise. Commercial music.

ANNOUNCER
We will return to episode nine of The Specter, "The Bewitched Project", after these commercial messages...

[COMMERCIALS]

Commercial music.

ANNOUNCER
We now return to episode nine of The Specter, "The Bewitched Project", presented by High Window RadioClassics Theatre on WHVW...

Tape noise.

LUCY
We've been wandering around for hours, Tollman. We've been down every dank corridor...

JACK
Not every one...

LUCY
Yes we have! I'm mapping it!

JACK
What do you mean, you're mapping it? We don't even have any paper.

LUCY
In my head! I'm keeping it in my head, Tollman! We've been down every corridor! There is no way out!

JACK
All right. So let's sit down and die.

LUCY
Is that what you want to do? I don't believe this. Is that what you really want to do?

JACK
Actually, no, that's not what I really want to do.

LUCY
And what do you really want to do?
(beat)
Don't even answer that.

JACK
You know, Miss Barnes, I think maybe we should set up in separate wings of the maze.

LUCY
Fine with me.

JACK
All right. You stick around this area, and I'll go...somewhere that way.

LUCY
I don't wanna stick around this area, Tollman. It smells. I'll go.

JACK
Be my guest.

LUCY
Just tell me one thing, before I go, Tollman. And I want you to be honest with me.

JACK
What do wanna know, Miss Barnes?

LUCY
Are you the Specter?

JACK
I'll answer that one, if you answer one for me.

LUCY
What?

JACK
Is this a set-up?

LUCY
(beat)
Yes. It is.

MR. OMEGA
Very good, Miss Barnes.

LUCY
Mr. Omega. You didn't give him a chance to answer.

MR. OMEGA
I don't need Mr. Tollman to answer, Miss Barnes. I've seen enough of the other guests to know they couldn't possibly be the one I seek.

LUCY
A lot of good that does me, Omega. I came here for a story. And right at the point I'm gonna get the guy to confess he's the vigilante that's been haunting the city, you step in and break it up. That's the last time I collude with you.

MR. OMEGA
Yes. It is. I have no need of you or any of the others now. You see, I am a member of a secret organization. We do as we see fit and answer to none but ourselves. For we are the only ones worthy. This Specter, as he is known, is a renegade from our group. I have been sent to bring him back to us.

LUCY
You didn't tell me any of that! You wanted money! You know what my editor had to swing to get that suitcase over here? I oughta break your...owww! Hey, uh, Jack? Where are you?

MR. OMEGA
Where did he go?

LUCY
What a chicken!

MR. OMEGA
Mr. Tollman? Where are you? I'll find you!

PATTI
Hello? Miss Barnes? What's happening?

LUCY
Patti!

REVEREND BOYER
Is Lucifer down here?

LUCY
Lucifer?!

REVEREND BOYER
Yes. Prince of Evil. Master of Darkness. I want to try out my new sermon on him. Oh! I think I see his demonic visage right there! In the mud!

CHANTELOUVE
I am not Lucifer, you idiot Reverend! It is me! Messier Chantelouve! Now release me from this human waste and mud!

LUCY
All right, Chantelouve. Hold on-

Dirt collapsing.

PATTI
Miss Barnes! This cavern! It's collapsing in!

REVEREND BOYER
Don't worry! Satan in hell will save us! I signed a pact in blood!

MARIE
Hello, down there! It's me! Has Messier Chantelouve's head popped up in the muck by any chance?

PATTI
I don't think popped up is quite the word.

LUCY
Marie! Drop down some rope!

MARIE
Sorry-all I have are really strong stockings.

PATTI
We're saved, Miss Barnes! But...where's Mr. Tollman?

LUCY
I don't know, Patti.

Transition music.

OMEGA
Mr. Tollman! You must know that you cannot hide from me in the darkness of this crypt.
(beat)
I can enter into the darkness just as you can.

SPECTER
Really? Well how far can you enter into it, friend?

OMEGA
Our organization has trained me well, Mr. Tollman. Do not doubt it. You have no choice. Either you will abandon your present course and again serve us...or you will be brought to our justice.
(beat)
Well? What is your answer?

SPECTER
My answer is...I hope you're right.

OMEGA
Right about what?

SPECTER
About being trained well. You're going to need it.

Sonic noise in a whirlwind--sound of the Specter.

SPECTER
Is that as far as you can come friend?

OMEGA
Not nearly, Tollman! You see, while you're watching my image mix into the black, I am here...at your throat!

SPECTER
UmmmHHH....

OMEGA
You have misused your gifts...affecting to do what? To save souls? The Specter! Scaring evil out of the wretched scum of the earth! That is not our purpose! Well, what do think now, Specter? How am I trained? Well enough to squeeze your last breath away?
(beat)
What? My hands! Around the skeleton! Where are you, Tollman?

SPECTER
I'm right here, Omega. In the black core...of you!

OMEGA
Ahhh! I feel you! Crawling inside me! Stop! Stop! You're eating me alive!!! You have not escaped, Specter!!! Others of our kind will come for you!

Specter sound recedes. Tape noise.

PATTI
Uh...Miss Barnes? They're waiting for us above ground.

LUCY
I just want to search around another minute, Patti.

PATTI
I'm sure Mr. Tollman is okay, Miss Barnes. Or if he's not, I'm sure he doesn't blame you for tricking him. I mean, he's a guy. He knows what women are like!

LUCY
Patti!
(beat)
Patti, look! There are two skeletons in this room!

PATTI
Oh my gosh! Things sure decompose fast down here!

LUCY
No! One of them was here before.

PATTI
Oh. Then maybe the other one is...just visiting?

LUCY
And there's another note!

PATTI
What's it say?

LUCY
It says, "Hello, Miss Barnes. I'm afraid these bones don't add up to much of a story. Did manage to clear up the misunderstanding with your friend Omega-and retrieved the suitcase of money I lent your editor. Sorry things didn't pan out. Enclosed please find a couple of c-notes. After your stay at the Derwood House, I figure you could all use a little getaway. Jack."

PATTI
Aww. How sweet!

LUCY
Sweet nothin'. Mr. Tollman just scooped me again.

PATTI
Are you feeling down, Miss Barnes?

LUCY
Definitely.

PATTI
Do you wanna hear about your bra? I learned a lot about strut supports from building that cross for the reverend, so I'm doing a total redesign to give you more lift, and greater separation...

End of show music.

ANNOUNCER
Citizens of our great nation, stay tuned for the next episode of The Specter. Until then, may your conscience never fail...

End of Episode 9

 

 

 

 

Always remember, "Writing is a Performing Art."   There are no "right" answers, only useful ones. 

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