|Ah, my pretties. You thought I was dead? (slide #1) You
canít believe everything you see in the movies. It takes more than a
falling house to kill the likes of me.
Glinda got the movie made her way.
This is all anybody ever saw of me in the movie. (slide
#2) Then up came this boozy smelling coroner. He already had a Death
Certificate in his hands. Mighty suspicious, wouldnít you say? He stared
at my socks and shoes for a moment, and then claimed he had thoroughly examined me. I
think a thorough examination of his bank account might tell the true
Glinda arranged the whole thing to get her hands on my
Gossamer Glinda (slide #3) The only evidence you have
that Iím wicked is her say-so. She called me the wicked witch of the
East. Nobody else.
Iím not wicked. My munchkins loved me. Yes, my pretties, Iíve seen the
movie. Iíve seen my sweet foolish munchkins singing "the wicked
witch is dead." But where's the evidence, I ask you?
Even in the movie, did one munchkin come forward to
complain about how I'd mistreated him or her? Were prisoners released? Did
anyone Ė anyone I ask you Ė talk about their restored freedoms? Of
course not! Because Iím not wicked. I never harmed anyone. The movie is
full of lies.
I am appearing before you, my pretties, to appeal for
the return of my shoes.
You still think Iím wicked? And you think I have bad
taste in socks. Letís look at slide #1 (slide #4) again. The socks. The
socks you love to hate. These socks were a gift from my beloved munchkins.
They all wore them. (slide #5) Here is a picture of the stage coach
driver. Heís wearing them. All my beloved Munchkins wore these stripy
socks. I was honored to wear the socks of my people.
Glinda called me wicked. Those munchkins were really
scared of Glinda. (Slide #6) She just happened to be around when that
house landed on me. Sickly sweet vanilla-scented Glinda in her musical
bubble. Everybody knows that broomsticks travel faster than bubbles. So how come she was there first? My sister sensed when I was in trouble,
and she arrived on her fire and sulfur smoking broomstick. (slide #7) But
it was too late.
Glinda stole my shoes and put them on Dorothy. (Slide
#8) She led Dorothy down the path of crime, starting with possession of
stolen property and progressing through murder.You all thought my sister
was mean to put Dorothy in that room with that timer. (slide #9) She was
only giving Dorothy time out, like you do for your children to think about
what she had done Ė to decide to do the right thing and return the
stolen property. But no, Dorothy was well on her way to the criminal
lifestyle. She and her brainless, frightened, heartless friends. Youíve
seen the evidence with your own eyes. (slide #10)
All I did was rule with love until a manure-smelling
farmhouse fell on me. I even wore those ugly socks because they were a
gift from my munchkins. If thatís not love, wearing an ugly gift from a
loved one, what is?
Glinda left me for dead, she sent Dorothy to kill my
sister and expose her other rival, the fake wizard in the Emerald City.
And then when Dorothy had done all her dirty work, Glinda took the
shoes. Dorothy didnít give them to her willingly.( slide #11). Glinda
had to hypnotize her. And now Glinda has my shoes. But you say, Glinda is
prettier than I am. You think that is how you can tell a good witch from a
bad witch. Itís all make-up out of a jar. I say pretty is as pretty
Glinda never showed you any evidence that I was wicked.
She couldn't show what isnít so. She showed my country the way it was.
Everyone was well fed and well dressed and lived in
lovely homes. My people had ample leisure time to enjoy their traditions
in folk crafts, dancing and singing, even making huge colorful lollipops.
(slide #13) My country was prosperous, healthy and clean. Filled with the
scents of blooming flowers and freshly trimmed shrubbery. You didnít
have to waste your time on government meetings like this one. Suffering
Oz only had 4 rulers, and Glinda used Dorothy to get rid
of 3 of them. Me. My sister. And the so-called Wizard of Oz. (slide #14)
Now, Iím back.
So my pretties, do you want your old life back? Do you
want leisure time to spend with your families? Do you want great weather,
excellent crops, freedom from crime and freedom from government? Say the
word. I'm at your service. Just give me back my shoes! (slide #15) Ha ha