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Where Sime and Gen Meet, Creativity Happens
Workshop:Professional
Journalistic Editing
or
"But That's Not What I Wrote!"
(Scriptwriter for the Sime~Gen Feature Film "The
Need"
And Head Writer for the TV series proposal, "AstroTeam")
One of the things I do to make ends meet (or is it meat?) is stringer work for a local mid-sized newspaper. For those of you who don't know what that is, a stringer is not an empolyee of the newspaper. A stringer gets assingments, most of the time, at any hour of the day or night when the night or weekend editor discovers that all the regular reporters are too busy, on assignment, on vacation, sick, otherwise occupied, or wouldn't touch the story that has to be covered with a ten foot pole.
This means that as a stringer I can be covering the local dog show one minute and then interviewing some top celebrity or government official the next. I've even gotten a few "breaking news" type assingments.
I'm not complaining. I'm glad of the work and sometimes it can be exciting and even fun. Though the idea of making a plan to be someplace and do something at a specific time is becoming a fond and distant memory. Be that as it may, recently I was assigned a really good story to cover and, if I say so myself, I did one heck of a journalistic job. I covered all the bases, got opposing viewpoints, researched the material and did dozens of interviews.
With all that I even got the story written in under a half hour. You don't get paid much as a stringer and time is money. You get paid by the story and so the more stories you do, the more you get paid. To make a day's work worth while you aim for at least two to three stories.
As usual, I wrote my story and then "shipped it" to the editor who told me to go get a bite to eat and call back in about an hour. Big mistake, I should have stuck around but then, I don't know if things would have been much different if I had.
Here is the article as I originally wrote it. (The headline is not mine.)
Teacher Questions Palestinian Education
by ANNE PHYLLIS PINZOW
Special To The Journal News
NEW CITY -- The scene is from the video, "Jihad for Children." A five-year-old girl sings to a young audience of how she yearns to be a suicide warrior, just like her older sister. The view changes. An eight-year-old boy stands in the middle of a group of children and reads a poem about throwing bombs and burning his enemies, "until the ground is drenched in their blood," while in the background a Mickey Mouse-like character, much like Barney, waves, dances and cheers.
The video clip is from a recently canceled Palestinian television show called "The Children's Club." This program was one of several that are still regularly broadcast on the Palestinian Broadcasting Corp., a television channel based in the West Bank city of Ramallah in the Palestinian Authority. In an interview with the New York Post, PBC chairman, Raddwan Abu Ayyash, said that they began operations just after the Oslo Accords were signed in 1993, with the help of $500,000 start up money from the US Agency for International Development.
"Jihad for Children" was part of a multi-media presentation "Inside the Palestinian Authority: What are Palestinian schoolchildren learning?" The program, the brainchild of Jeffrey Daube, a special education high school teacher at the Hawthorne Cedar Knolls school in Westchester, was shown yesterday to an audience of 75 at the YM-YWHA's Rockland Jewish Community Campus.
Daube, a peace activist since his days at Columbia University in the sixties, became interested in the educational curriculum in the mid-east in 1993 when he had hopes of moving his family to Israel. However, upon seeing some of the Palestinian textbooks and viewing the television programs, which can easily be viewed inside Israeli borders, Daube changed his plans. He joined forces with the Center for the Impact of Peace, Palestinian Media Watch and Americans for a Safe Israel. Together they made a study of 140 textbooks used in Palestinian schools.
Mohammed Dabbagh, a Palestinian and a West Bank native now living in Nanuet said of the presentation, "It is one sided, taken out of context. He (Daube) is an extremist talking about extremists." A member of the Mosque of the Jerrahi Order of Dervishes in Chestnut Ridge, Dabbagh said that in the United States people work to co-exist with each other. He said that presentations like Daube's tend to stereotype Moslems, "He's doing to us just what Hitler did to the Jews."
Stereotyping is exactly the type of thing that Daube said he fears. He said "By publicizing what is going on, we were able to get that television program off the air. But it was soon replaced." Daube showed the audience print cartoons that have appeared recently in the official Palestinian Authority government controlled press. They represented Jews as devils and Israelis as over muscular with Star of David tattoos on their arms, stomping on Palestinian children.
Daube explained that the Oslo Accords directed both sides to halt all educational curriculums and government sponsored media presentations which would be antithetical to a peaceful co-existence. Though the Palestinian Authority found nothing objectionable in the Israeli curriculums, Israeli Minister of Education, Shulamit Aloni immediately developed and instituted "Culture of Peace," which directly followed the accords. However, Daube said that even by the time of the Wye River Memorandum in 1998, Palestine had not changed anything. "Their representatives said they have to maintain a certain attitude within their populace." That attitude, said Daube, is based on historical precedent, "any treaty is only a waiting period, a time to build up arms to conquer the enemy." They refused to change anything until Israelis stop West Bank settlement and release all political prisoners. "The Palestinians call them political, the Israelis call them prisoners with blood on their hands." Daube said that he holds no hope for a lasting peace in his lifetime.
Many of Rockland's Jewish residents who attended the presentation agreed with Daube. Even with the recent change in administration in Israel, Sam Coleman, D, State Assemblyman, Pearl River, said "I think many people are going to be disappointed. Whatever administration is in Israel, it makes little difference. It's important for us to understand, to know, what's going on, exactly who Israel is expected to make peace with. How can Israel sign any type of treaty with people who are just using this time to raise their children to be fanatical killers?"
Another member of the audience, Jack Sperling of Spring Valley, said that he had also hoped that with the Barak's election, the peace process would have a better chance. Sperling's family lives in one of the disputed areas in Israel. "If you think of the conflicts all over the world- the mideast, Kosovo, Northern Ireland, the Balkans, Africa, they go back for generations. Children don't know what hate is. They're taught to hate and where there's hatred, there's killing."
-30-
Now, admittedly, the story might be thin in some places and over done in others. Rockland County has one of the largest Jewish populations in the United States however we also have one of the most ethnically diverse, being only 20 miles northwest of New York City. I had to do a little hunting to find at least one person who was not at the presentation who had any idea of what it was all about. And I lucked out, not only did I manage to find a Moslem, I found a Palestinian born on the West Bank.
Hey, I only had a half hour which means you don't think, you write and hope that it makes some sort of sense. I knew that I was going to be edited. That didn't bother me. As a reporter, I'm not an artist, I'm a working stiff. I'm doing it for the money.
When I called in I found out that my story had been cut. Unfortunately I was on an out-of-doors pay phone, another big mistake, and couldn't hear the editor clearly. She read me her changes. Well, what I thought I heard sounded like she ripped all the "fat" off my article but the bare bones were still there. What follows is the essence of what I thought she read to me.
Teacher Questions Palestinian Education
by ANNE PHYLLIS PINZOW
Special To The Journal News
NEW CITY -- As a young boy reads a poem about throwing bombs and burning his enemies, a Mickey Mouse-like character waves and dances in the background.
The video clip, called ""Jihad for Children,'' comes from a recently canceled Palestinian television show called "Children's Club," explained Jeffrey Daube who gave a multi-media presentation yesterday at the YM-YWHA's Rockland Jewish Community Campus titled "Inside the Palestinian Authority: What Are Palestinian Schoolchildren Learning?"
"The Children's Club" was regularly broadcast on the Palestinian Broadcasting Corp., a television channel based on the West Bank city of Ramallah. The show had received $500,000 from the US Agency for International Development, Daube said. By going to the USAID and by taking his case to the public, "The Children's Club," was taken off the air.
Mohammed Dabbagh, a Palestinian and a West Bank native now living in Nanuet said of the presentation, "It is one sided, taken out of context. He (Daube) is an extremist talking about extremists." A member of the Mosque of the Jerrahi Order of Dervishes in Chestnut Ridge, Dabbagh said that in the United States people work to co-exist with each other. He said that presentations like Daube's tend to stereotype Moslems, "He's doing to us just what Hitler did to the Jews."
Daube explained that the Oslo Accords directed both sides to halt all educational curriculums and government sponsored media presentations which would be antithetical to a peaceful co-existence. However, Daube said that even by the time of the Wye River Memorandum in 1998, Palestine had not changed anything. "Their representatives said they have to maintain a certain attitude within their populace, any treaty is only a waiting period, a time to build up arms to conquer the enemy." Daube said that he holds no hope for a lasting peace in his lifetime.
Many of Rockland's Jewish residents who attended the presentation agreed with Daube. Even with the recent change in administration in Israel, Sam Coleman, D, State Assemblyman, Pearl River, said "I think many people are going to be disappointed. Whatever administration is in Israel, it makes little difference. How can Israel sign any type of treaty with people who are just using this time to raise their children to be fanatic killers."
Another member of the audience, Jack Sperling of Spring Valley said, "If you think of the conflicts all over the world- the mideast, Kosovo, Northern Ireland, the Balkans, Africa, they go back for generations. Children don't know what hate is. They're taught to hate and where there's hatred, there's killing."
-30-
Okay, I wasn't thrilled. However, that's the newspaper biz. I expect to get edited. I hope it makes the story better and most of the time it does. This time I felt it didn't. But hey, I fill out my voucher and I get paid. I'm a professional. So, I hung up the phone and went home. The article, while not having all the information that I originally put in, still told the story. (The story does sound a great deal like Simes and Gens trying to work out their differences too, don't you think? Their are no coincidences!)
The next morning I went out to get the newspaper. I looked for the story on the first page, the second, the third. I kept looking. Finally, at the bottom of a very inside page, under an article about a high school graduation, a flower show and flag day, I found this.
Teacher Questions Palestinian Education
by ANNE PHYLLIS PINZOW
Special To The Journal News
NEW CITY -- As a young boy reads a poem about throwing bombs and burning his enemies, a Mickey Mouse-like character waves and dances in the background.
The video clip, called ""Jihad for Children,'' comes from a recently canceled Palestinian television show called "Children's Club," explained Jeffrey Daube who gave a multi-media presentation yesterday at the YM-YMHA's (note, in my article the initials were correctly printed as YM-YWHA's) Rockland Jewish Community Campus titled "Inside the Palestinian Authority: What Are Palestinian Schoolchildren Learning?"
"The Children's Club" was regularly broadcast on the Palestinian Broadcasting Corp., a television channel based on the West Bank city of Ramallah. The show had received $500,000 from the US Agency for International Development, Daube said. By going to the USAID and by taking his case to the public, "The Children's Club," was taken off the air.
-30-
"What the HELL happened to my story? Why did they print it at all? This is terrible." I stomped around a bit and to say that I was angry was an understatement. As you can see, the final article, the one that actually appeared, gives the impression that the problem has been solved and that the danger is over. This is exactly the opposite of what the original article, or even the second article clearly stated. In short, the final article failed to inform the public and a newspaper is supposed to inform. Right?
My next thoughts were, "All those people I interviewed, they're going to kill me." People do tend to get upset when after they take time to give you an interview, it's not in the newspaper. Then I thought, "the editor who assigned me the story specifically told me to ask about what people thought about the change in Israel's administration. That was taken completely out. He'll never assign me another story."
These mental gyrations took about five minutes. But suddenly calm decended. First, I know that I did my job and a damn good job at that. What happened after that, well, it wasn't my fault. However, what is more important was when I remembered that "I'm doing it for the money." Writing, professional writing anyway, whether it be newspaper articles, or movies, is for the money.
I found my professional attitude again and pulled it around me like a much loved, warm and cuddly quilt. Afterall, what do I think will be done to "The Need," once everyone else gets their hands on it? I'll tell you what I think, that every gopher's brother-in-law's barber will have a say in the making of the movie.
That's what art by comittee is all about, especially when you're not even a member of the committee's supporting staff. My article went through at least two editors that I know of. The first one at least told me what had been done to my article. The second one, well, I don't even know who it is. The newspaper is edited "across the river" somewhere in a mythical place that is compared alternately to Heaven and Hell but euphemistically termed "Corporate Headquarters." There might have even been a third editor who cut the article to fit in under those heartstopping, breaking news type important stories that were all above my piece.
It doesn't matter. I made out my voucher and turned it in. I'm doing it for the money. "The Need" I wrote for love. But once I sell "The Need," that's it. It's gone. If I quake and quiver and waste my energy getting angry over what two or three editors did to a story that was already being used to wrap garbage in or dumped in the recyle bin by the time I got to work that day, then I'm not worth my salt as a professional. No. Whatever becomes of "The Need," is whatever becomes of it. I did my job to the best of my ability. I know it and that's all that counts. And when I'm sitting in the movie theater watching what everyone else did to the film and feeding Valium to Jacqueline and Jean, (or will they be feeding Valium to me?) I will still know, I did my job, the best that I can do, even surpassing my former best. Let the producers, actors, crew and editors have at it. That's their job! And I'm ready for them.
SEE all of Anne Phyllis Pinzow's Writer's Workshop articles. Go to the Workshop top page, on the left click Choose A Teacher, then click Anne's name for the index to all her articles.
There you will find the Part II of "NOT WHAT I WROTE" plus articles on journalism that will give you an edge when writing about a character who is a journalist.
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This Page Was Last Updated 03/09/01 12:57 PM EST (USA)
