WINSTON:  “We gotta wait two years to find out—”

JEAN:  “It’s Han Solo.”

WINSTON:  “No, it’s Leia . . .”

JEAN:  “No, it’s Han Solo, because he used the—”

WINSTON:  “—used the lightsabre on the tauntaun?  Yeah, I’ve heard of that theory, but — (A rowdy mock argument breaks out among the audience members) All right!  All right!  Order in the court!  (Bangs a paper cup on the table) . . . Now . . . Question from the back . . .”

AUDIENCE Member#3:  “A while back, I read a review of a certain S.F. novel, and the reviewer took potshots at the book and potshots at S.F. in general:  ‘. . . a joyless, harmless exercise of words for dull minds . . .’  Heck, that’s my description of mainstream fiction!”  (Laughter)

AUDIENCE MEMBER#4:  “Yeah ever read any Barbara Cartland?

PAT :  “Barbara Cartland?!  Oh, please!”

WINSTON:  “Are you ready for the Barbara Cartland story of the year?  True story.  I was in a bookstore in Baltimore . . . this was right after August Party last year . . . My friend Christine Lubs took me to this bookstore because she had seen this, and wanted me to see it for myself:  In the Romance section, in between two Barbara Cartland novels side by side, and two others top to bottom, sat . . . ‘Strange Wine’ by Harlan Ellison.  (Uproarious laughter and applause) We marched into the store with a Polaroid SX-70, took a shot of the whole section . . . took a shot of ‘Strange Wine’ and the four surrounding books . . . then took a shot of just the three books side by side.  The store manager walked over to us and said, ‘What are you doing?!’  We said, ‘That book is not a romance novel.  That book is a fantasy by Harlan Ellison.  When we tell him and show him the pictures of what you have done, he’s going to order a B-52 air strike on your store!’”  (Laughter)

AUDIENCE MEMBER#4:  “Knowing Harlan, he can do it!”

PAT (to Winston):  “Did she mail them to him?”

WINSTON:  “No, she hasn’t sent them yet.  She wants to make copies for herself before mailing them to him.*  It’s very hard to get SX-70 copies made.  (To audience) We went back there about three months later . . . That book was still sitting there.  This store has a deathwish like you wouldn’t believe!!”  (Laughter)

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*For the outcome of this story, see Final Notes.