THE NEW YORK SIMES

All The News That's Fit To Zlin

Issue number 3 - Fall 1991

EDITORIAL

Greetings Simes and Gens! Welcome to the third edition of the NEW YORK SIMES!

First and foremost I would like to apologize for skipping the summer edition of the NEW YORK SIMES, but due to circumstances beyond my control I found it impossible to get an issue out, some contributions would have helped folks!

When it all falls on Don and me there will definitely be a delay/skipping on an issue. Sorry guys, but I've now started a part time night job to help make ends meet, which means "spare" time will be a lot scarcer. So, if you want to see the newsletter stick to its publishing schedule send in contributions.

'Nuff guilt tripping, now on to some news.

The House Trygon get together and annual gen toss at my house has been postponed. For reasons of lack of time I was unable to put it together, but it will go off in June of next year. That should give me enough time before Worldcon and Pensic.

Don will be doing Darkover con again this year. I may or may not be able to attend due to finances, but I will try. The faith day ceremony will take place in Kerry and Donell's room, if there is no JL programming room. That depends on whether JL can fly in from California or not. The Shiltpron parlor will commence after the Faith Day ceremony.

It has been brought to my attention that this bleary eyed, tired gen editor made a mistake in the last issue of the NEW YORK SIMES. I said Karen Litman was in one of the pictures when it was actually Margaret Carter. My apologies. Page 4 has the correction.

By the way, as in the last issue of the NEW YORK SIMES according to rule number 5 of the rules for a healthy Sime/Gen relationship "The Gen is never Wrong."

Rule Number 6 states "If the gen is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding, which was a direct result of something the Sime did or said wrong."

Now the way I see it, there is at least one sime to blame for this mistake! Now bone up to it! Which one of you simes caused this? I will be expecting to print a written confession next issue or else!

-Nova

Don Farris ambrov Trygon

Hello. My name is Don Farris ambrov Trygon, and I've been asked to say a few words about how I came to be where I am today.

Most people would think that, as a nonjunct Farris Channel, I was probably born and raised in a Household. Most people would be wrong.

Believe it or not, I was born in Gen Territory. As a child, I was taught, and firmly believed, that Gens were the only true Humans, that Simes were nothing but monsters, and that a strong faith in God would keep the demons away both without and within.

All of which made it even more frightening when the Raiders came.

The day after my eleventh birthday, a small group of Simes came sweeping down to our farmstead on horseback and captured my entire family. Somehow, they managed to dodge my father's shotgun blasts, though Mother managed to nick one with a kitchen knife before they caught her. To "teach us a lesson", they killed my older brother Bertrim right in front of us. I remember screaming and trying to jump on the Sime, and then ...

The next thing I remember, a Sime was shaking me awake. He told me that his name was Remo, that he owned a herd of preGens (like myself), that I was to do migrant farm work until I established, and that what happened after that depended on how well I behaved.

I bit him.

He laughed, knocked me across the room quite casually, told me my new name was "Trouble", and (eventually) set me to work in the fields. I never saw my parents again.

I worked my way up and down Sime territory for just under two years; picking citrus, picking grapes, anything that could be done by hand. I was never trusted with farm tools of any kind, even though I knew how to handle them better than the Simes that worked with us. (Come to think of it, that was probably one of the reasons why.) I kept myself going with a fantasy of escaping back to Gen territory and telling some army officer exactly where all the strategic targets in Sime territory were. What a hero I'd be!

Then one day I started feeling kind of funny. I told Remo, and he replied solicitously, "Quit goofin' off and get back to work!" Thus it was that I was pretty high up in a tree picking citrus when a wave of nausea and dizziness hit me and I fell off my ladder.

Luckily for me I landed on my head.

When I woke up, there was a HUGE ache in my arms (I thought I'd fallen on them) and a soft murmuring in my ears. I opened my eyes and saw a woman leaning over me. She had bare arms! She was a Gen! And she was speaking English! It was so long since I last heard English that I could hardly understand her. "This has to be a dream", I thought. Then I noticed that she was fading away, turning into a kaleidoscope of shimmering colors. I reached for her. ...

Then the world came back in focus, and everybody was smiling and yelling "Congratulations!" in my ear. I grinned back confusedly. Then I looked down. On my arms was a writhing mass of, of ...

I screamed.

It took them hours to get me calmed down. During the confusion, the Sectuib of Trygon was able to take minor advantage of the situation and bought my indenture contract from Remo for a song.

Over the course of the next year, I learned many amazing things, among them:

- I was NOT a monster. Simes are people.

- I did NOT have to kill to live. Ever.

- I could even help other Simes to live without killing.

But the most important thing I learned was how to feel good about myself again. At the end of my time of indenture I pledged ambrov Trygon and I've been there ever since.

But I just wish my Sectuib would stop calling me "Trouble."

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THE NEW YORK SIMES is the unofficial, official newsletter of house Trygon. The articles within express solely the bizarre opinions and warped sense of humors of the authors, (when we can get them to admit to writing this.) and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Ms. Lichtenberg, Kerry, Donell, Linda, or the rest of Sime/Gen fandom. Donald Combs claims to be out of the country when this was being written, Nova Serafino has eight witnesses which can substantiate her alibi.

Subscriptions are $2.00 per year, to cover postage and paper.

Articles, gripes, complaints, and subscriptions go to:

Nova Serafino

(street address removed)

Mastic Beach NY 11951

(phone number removed)

before 10:00 PM

This is the official crest of house Trygon. The background is navy blue. The large T is light grey. The chalice and bubbles are burgundy, and the two stars across the top of the T are navy blue. This drawing was submitted by Don.

Be it ever so humble there's no place like house hold.