THE NEW YORK SIMES

All The News That's Fit To Zlin

Spring 1991 Issue

EDITORS REPORT

Greetings one and all! First and foremost I would like to apologize for taking so long in between issues of the New York Simes.

I had been hit with a multitude of head winds, from having to replace my boiler, to the holidays and Costume con. I just haven't had the time to put the newsletter together.

Not that I am much better off now, but things are down to a minor riot, which at this point I can deal with.

I have decided to put out an issue for every season. I would like the publishing schedule (barring mishap) to be as follows:

Spring : March

Summer : May

Fall : Sept

Winter : January

Since I missed the January issue I have made this issue as large as possible, with submissions on hand.

Keep them coming, remember lots of submissions keeps your gen happy. You do want a happy gen around don't you? Of course you do.

Glad spring!

-Nova

DARKOVER CON REPORT

Well, I must say it was an interesting convention. I just wish we could have seen more of it! You see, we (my friend Nova and myself, I'm not being royal) made the mistake, er, decision, to participate in the masquerade AND run the Shiltpron parlor. We did get to see a few interesting panels and meet some very nice new friends, though. Perhaps I'd best just tell you about the two events which took up most of our time and energy. ...

The masquerade was a lot of fun. (At the time, I wouldn't have believed I'd be saying this, but I am.)

In the Ready Room, there was this cute little girl going around practicing throwing her pixie-dust around. It's a good thing that adults don't have to compete with children - we'd never win anything!

We were lined up outside the ballroom only a little late. As we waited our turns, we listened to the entries before us and talked to our fellow costumers. It was comforting to find out that we weren't the only first-timers there. It was even more comforting to find out that most of those gorgeous, elaborate costumes were being entered by Masters and therefore not in competition with us. Whew! (I must admit that some of the Beginners' costumes weren't half bad, either. <Modest cough>)

While we were waiting in the hallway to go on stage, Nova looked to the judges table and said "There's Susan! I know her from the costumers guild!! <Evil grin> Zlin her in our skit! This is perfect!"

Then it was our turn. My Companion and I walked on stage to the simple introduction, "From the Sime-Gen book series - a Farris Channel and his Companion." Everyone applauded politely when they thought it was just another walk-on of two people in pseudo-medieval costumes, ho-hum.

Then I slipped out from under the cape my Companion conveniently happened to have been holding and went over to zlin the judges' clerk (Susan) with my tentacles! That got a reaction from the crowd (it better have, we worked on the bloody-shen things for long enough)! Even better was the reaction from the poor judges clerk (get away from me, I don't know these people, er, things ...).

Of course, I couldn't just get away with that, so my Companion nager-whipped me off the stage. Let me recap it for those of you who weren't there:

Nova looks angrily at me holding the empty cape.

Me: (Jumping slightly) "DA! You crazy Gen! What are you doing!? I was just zlinning her nager!"

Nova: "Oh! Zlinning her nager?? Examining her life force?? So you say??" Looks at Susan while I nod. "And a lovely set of nager on this lady, they look like a 36C TO ME!!!"

Me: "OW!!"

Nova: (pointing offstage) "Let's move Hajene Farris."

Me: (Sloshing angrily off stage) "Uppity Gen! Sometimes I wish I'd never bought you!"

Nova: (Declares to the audience when I'm gone) "I wear the nager in the household."

Exit to the audience's laughter and applause.

Next came the photography area. There were the standard photos of me, my Companion, the two of us together, etc., etc.

Lots of people wanted to see how the heck we made moving tentacles for the stage. When we showed them (jointed plastic snakes glued to flexible plastic vambraces/fake forearms (sic) a near-universal reaction was, "Oh, that's so simple!"

Then one of our friends took some photos of us, asking us to pose in "transfer position". He then kept fumbling with the camera, keeping us posed for the longest time. My Companion remarked to him after an especially long posing, "Do this again and I'm going to slip him some tongue!"

Promises, promises.

The next day (Saturday) came the Faith Day ceremony. Very solemn and serious. Nova wouldn't even let me have our pledge include the phrase "unto Trygon forever or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first". Surely they know by now that Trygon is not a solemn and serious Household. Oh, well ...

After the Faith Day ceremony came the Shiltpron Parlor Party. That also turned out to be a much bigger success than I thought it was going to be.

Nova brought along her various home-made meads to be the "porstan". While I didn't try it (not liking the taste of alcohol), I was assured by all that they were very good. Nova also took care of providing copies of the songbook and most of the non-alcoholic refreshments.

And my part in all this? I was the shiltpron player! There were two departures from authenticity - I didn't use tentacles (not even I am that crazy) and we used my electronic keyboard for a shiltpron.

One thing that bothered me: after months of practice, I STILL kept flubbing the @%^$%^& songs! Nova assured me that, since everybody was singing in the key of OFF, I matched the group quite well. Thanks, Nova.

Let's have three cheers for Filthy Pierre, aka Erwin Straus! He wandered into the Parlor when the group was singing a song I couldn't even find, let alone practice, and took over for a couple of songs. Merci beaucoup, Filthy! It was embarrassing, though, when I flubbed Greensleeves afterwards right in front of him. I hope he doesn't have me drubbed out of the Filkers' Union!

All in all, I'd have to say that it was well worth the trip. Come on down to Darkover next year and get a free transfer from house Trygon!

COSTUMING NEWS

At costume con Don and I were treated to a special entry into the future fashion show.

Before I go on let me explain how the future fashion show works. Long before the convention, costumers, artist, and people with any type of interest submit drawings, descriptions of costumes, and what category of costume it is. For Costume con 9 I counted twenty seven categories. They range from sports wear, ceremonial, heavy worlders and movies to name a few.

It seems the same Susan who was zlinned unmercifully from the stage by Don is also a Sime/Gen fan, and a master costumer to boot.

She and Jennifer Tifft sent in an entry into formal wear which had gotten second place. They entitled it GEMINI, but it is really Sime/Gen formal wear.

They entitled it GEMINI for simplicity's sake. It saved them to have to explain the Sime/Gen series to a lot of people who would have not read the series.

They reserved the design, which means that if it won and made it into the Future Fashion Folio book they wanted to be the ones to make and model it.

Many costumers will send in designs and not make them, others will see a design in the Folio and request to make it for the fashion show, and some costumes won't be made at all, if no costumers want to reserve it.

Their entry was gorgeous. I must have taken 10 pictures of them, just to be safe.

As Murphy would have it, my cheap camera decided that at costume con it would stop advancing the film. Out of 48 pictures I have 4, NONE of which are of Susan and Jennifer modeling their Sime/Gen costume. <GGGRRRRR!!>

To show the drawn entry I have stolen half of page 35 of CC9's Future Fashion Folio. It's on the following page.

I will also beg and plead with other costumers at the next costumers guild meeting and see if anyone could make copies for me. With any luck I might have some photos for the Spring issue of the New York Simes. Please keep your fingers and tentacles crossed for now. What follows is the future fashion shows drawing.

I should have a copy the Darkover Costume contest the time this newsletter out.

--Nova

TECTON LIFE, BANKING DIVISION

(ANCIENT'S VARIETY)

By Linda Whitten

Inspired by Karen Litman and William Long

They say that in the Tecton, the banking's really great

But I have lots of questions on how I really rate!

CHORUS

I don't want no more of Tecton life,

Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

I went into the local bank to cash some traveler's checks

The teller had put upon me a rather nasty hex.

CHORUS

My signature card had vanished, disappeared without a trace

The teller couldn't find it and said so without grace.

CHORUS

I stood there all a-flustered, a-wonderin' what to do

Why the hell they lost the card and what they're gonna do!

CHORUS

I asked to see the manager of this particular branch,

And when the man approached me, my face it really blanched.

CHORUS

Nobody had to tell me the manager was Tigue

I knew I'd been out maneuvered, I wasn't in his league

CHORUS

Against their better judgement my traveler's check was cashed

I know it kill the manager, his face was white as ash!

CHORUS

I know it drives Tigues crazy to part with ready cash

But if they didn't given me some I'd have gone in a mighty flash

CHORUS

So now I am contented with money in my hands

And now I can journey on to further Tecton lands

CHORUS

Editors note: This song was written when Linda, Karen and William tried to get some money from a New Jersey bank after Darkover con. Don and I could really empathize because we had to get cash advances for our stay at Darkover con, because none of the Maryland banks accepted our ATM cards. Linda invites people who have had banking nightmares to add to this song.

The following is a list of rules for a healthy and proper Sime/Gen relationship.

-Nova the gen

THE RULES

1. The gen always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No sime can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the gen suspects the sime knows all the rules, he/she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The gen is never wrong.

6. If the gen is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the sime did or said wrong.

7. If rule 6 applies, the sime must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The gen can change his/her mind at any given time.

9. The sime must never change his/her mind without written consent from the gen.

10. There is no rule number 10

11. The sime must remain calm at all times, unless the gen wants him/her to be angry or upset.

12. The gen must under no circumstances let the sime know whether or not he/she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. If the gen is female and has P.M.S. all rules are null and void.

14. Any attempt to document these rules could result in nageric harm to the sime.

Editors note: All rebuttals will be cheerfully printed.

Come on simes, make my month.

HOUSEHOLD

TRYGON

NEWS

We have a house hold crest. It is a grey letter T on a navy blue background. Interposed in front of the T is a burgundy chalice. It runs from the base of the T to the top of the stem. Rising above the chalice are 3 burgundy bubbles. On each side of the T is a 4 pointed navy blue star.

I will have a proper drawing for you in the spring issue of THE NEW YORK SIMES.

We also have a household pledge. It was used to pledge in Larry and Rachel. Don has the wording. We will be publishing it in the next issue. I have to move on this issue in order to have access to some of the finer publishing equipment, such as laserjet printers and special xerox machines in the print shop that can do fine copies of photographs.

I am also hard pressed to get this issue out before the end of March.

We have been discussing having a TRYGON barbecue, workshop and annual gen toss. Everyone seems to be into it, so it will probably go off sometime this summer.

It will most likely take place at my house in Mastic Beach, Long Island. July looks good. May's weather can be too strange and August is pensic. Since ninety percent of Trygon's members are also members of the SCA, and all of us are going to pensic that would not be a good month.

We will definately have a barbecue in the evening.

There are several ideas about daytime activities that people seem to be interested in, those are tentacle making workshop, cape making workshop, a brewing demonstration, Sime/Gen gaming, and just hanging out and partying.

We are a bit limited as to what we can do, because of this being a one day affair. Cast your votes before the summer issue of THE NEW YORK SIMES, due out in may. I will print the results along with directions to my house and a map.

In order to vote send me a letter or postcard or call me up (before 9:30 PM that is). If I'm not home just leave a message on my machine.

This voting doesn't mean we won't be doing things that are not voted in for the barbecue. It just means we won't be doing them on that day. Most of my spare time is spent on sewing, costuming and brewing. We will just be making other arrangements for them.

IN OTHER NEWS

In other news, Don forgot to mention in his Darkover report that during the Faith Day ceremony Householding Trygon was given an award for its service to the tecton.

I have taken the liberty of printing a miniaturized version of the award for all of you Trygonites that were not there to see it. It's on page 8 along with a copy of the award given to us for BEST TECHNICAL MERIT for our entry in the Darkover costume call.

DISCLAIMER!

THE NEW YORK SIMES is the unofficial official newsletter of householding TRYGON. The strange articles, reports and ramblings found herein are the sole responsibility of the authors. They do not necessarily represent the views of Trygon, the Tecton, Ms. Lichtenberg, Don, Kerry, Linda, or anyone else who can come up with an alibi.

THE NEW YORK SIMES would like to thank Rich Koch for doing the copies of the photographs.

Gripes, complaints and articles go to:

Nova Serafino

(street address removed)

Mastic Beach, NY 11951

BE IT KNOWN TO THOSE OF ALL WORLDS THAT NOVA SERAFINO WAS AWARDED OUTSTANDING TECHNICAL MERIT AT DARKOVER GRAND COUNCIL XIII signed Katherine Kurtz, Melissa Scott & Lisa M. Barnett.

DIGEN FARRIS MEMORIAL MERITORIOUS SERVICE AWARD has been awarded to Nova Serafino and Householding Trygon for services rendered above and beyond the call of duty to the Tecton dated 24 November 1990 signed Linda L. Whitten for Marge Robbins