An Alternate Alternate Universe Sime Comedy
© 1978 by Anne Pinzow
This story was first published inCompanion in Zeor #1, senior editor Karen Litman. This online version was scanned and OCRd from the typewritten original and then reformatted for the web. Scanned by Ronnie Bob Whitaker, converted to HTML by Mike Giroux
The Sime~Gen universe was created by Jacqueline Lichtenberg. This story or its setting may not be reused without her explicit permission. This story copyright © 1977, 1997 by Jacqueline Lichtenberg. All rights reserved.
"I don't believe you."
"What do you mean, how could you not believe me?"
"Are you going to stand there and tell me that there are really people with tentacles on their arms?"
"I don't believe you."
"What are you talking about?"
"What do you think the last several thousand years of this mess we're in has been all about?"
"But people with tentacles? That's science-fiction."
"You were captured by a Sime, you were held in a pen and you were bought by a Sime, me, and you still don't believe in Simes?"
"What's a Sime?"
"I'm a Sime, you dodo."
"You mean those crazy bracelets you people like to wear really don't come off?"
"Those long skinny things that hang on your arms."
"Those are tentacles."
"Look, what do I know? I'm just a Gen on holiday from Out Territory."
"Way Out Territory if you ask me."
"I didn't, and if you will stop interrupting, I'll go on."
"I'm sorry. Please Continue."
"As I was saying, I'm just a Gen from Out Territory here to enjoy the scenery and get in some rest. Our guide decided to arrange a nice show for us. Some actors dressed up real funny and started to ride toward us screaming and yelling. Some of the people who I thought were also tourists turned out to be actors and fell down as soon as the raiders wound their crazy bracelets around the arms of the tourists. By the way, will I get to see myself in the movie you are making?"
"If you live."
"Oh, I intend to live for a long, long time."
"I don't see how."
"I exercise, eat wisely and take my vitamins daily. My doctor says I'm the healthiest Gen I have (sic RBW he has?) ever seen."
"Oh, you agree you're a Gen."
"Well of course I'm a Gen."
"Then, if you're a Gen, what am I?"
"A Gen with bracelets."
"I'm a Sime."
"There are no such things as Simes."
"But you're looking at one."
"Okay, okay, my mother used to tell us Sime stories and if I wasn't good, the mean old Sime was going to get me, but you look like a very nice fellow. Why are you trying, and what makes you think you can scare me. You are standing right in front of me and you are not going to convince me you're anything but what you are. That's being sick and you should see a doctor."
"I'm sick because I'm in need."
"Now there you go, you are well dressed, obviously wealthy, you do look quite thin and all I'd say you were in need of was a good meal."
"I'm in need of selyn, your selyn and I'm going to frighten you if it's the last thing I do."
"Why do you want to frighten me?"
"I'm a Sime and you're a Gen, and you're supposed to be afraid of me."
"I'm a Sime."
"You're a Gen."
"See, you don't believe me when I say I'm a Sime either."
"But you're a Gen."
"You don't have tentacles."
"Well, neither do you."
"We'll skip that part. You have a field which tells me what your emotions are."
"That's no trick, I can tell what your emotions are too. You're exasperated, upset and angry."
"I'm not angry."
"Oh yes you are."
"Okay, okay, I'm angry."
"You still haven't proved that I'm not Sime."
"I'm beginning to think you are Sime."
"What do you mean, I'm a Gen."
"Oh go away and let me see what I can do about getting these stupid bracelets off my arms."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said they were stupid. They're really quite lovely."
"But you said they were stupid."
"That was rude of me."
"Then I don't have to take them off?"
"Not if you don't want to."
"That's good because I really didn't know how I was going to do it."
"They're really very nice, here, let me have a look at them. Oh, they're so warm and dry. That's right, wind them around my arms. That feels good; hey, you don't have to kiss me. I really didn't do anything!! Well, if you want to that much . . . Hey, you shouldn't kiss a man like that, but I can tell you the girls would love it."
"You're not dead."
"Why, should I be?"
"But I drew selyn, it was fantastic."
"Well, I'll be! Say would you like to stick around for awhile. I'd like to talk some more about this."
"Well, I really have to get back to the tour."
"They won't miss you, believe me."
Well, it was getting a bit boring and you are an interesting sort."
"You can be my guest."
"Where is your house?"
"This way, Companion."
FromCompanion in Zeor #1
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Last modified on 14 June 97 at 08:01