Section #3, Skeleton Outline: (235 words)
Beginning: Protagonist captures and studies animals. As a consequence, the animals develop consciousness and hate people. One escapes and attacks people. Protagonist stops it and brings it back, but remains in denial that it has developed self-awareness.
1/4: Protagonist continues research despite animals' strange, dangerous behavior. The near-human behavior and violence escalates, and an animal kills an assistant. Protagonist is barely able to get the animal back into its enclosure and his remaining assistants are hysterical. He realizes the danger is greater than he'd thought.
Middle: The animals work together to attack, and there is a pitched battle. One animal and two people are killed. Protagonist is trapped with two people and it seems there is no way out. He debates whether the animals have developed consciousness, feels grief for the death of the people and animals, and realizes that his life-work has been in vain.
3/4: Protagonist devises an escape route and battle plan. He has an epiphany that the animals have developed consciousness, that he has meddled with the balance of nature, and that if these animals escape they will destroy his people.
Climax: Protagonist and two remaining helpers summon up courage, make a break for it, and are attacked by last two animals. Another assistant and both animals are killed, and the Protagonist's buildings destroyed, along with all evidence of the results of his studies. Protagonist is chastened but victorious.
Extra Credit:
PITCH: In an isolated facility on the planet Venus II, Dr. Dan Scott experiments with the beautiful but vicious flying predators called Angels, increasing their intelligence until they become self-aware and threaten to destroy not only the scientist but all humans, plunging the scientist and his assistants into a battle for their very lives.
Section #5, Beginning of Chapter One: (306 words)
EXTRA CREDIT: Writing for varied style and minimal adverbs.
Scott glimpses a purple shadow through skeletal rocks up ahead. The ever-present half-light and mist of the thick atmosphere make tracking arduous, but he pushes on, alert for movement in the sky. Scott squints, taking a deep breath as he tries to focus. His protective suit and breathing gear isn't heavy, but he's been following his prey for hours. There! The unmistakable shape of an Angel appears, descending rapidly in attack posture. Despite his fatigue and worry, Scott is astonished by the beauty of the thing. The sleek muscular body of a jaguar, melded with the wings of the creature's ethereal namesake, is camouflaged by swirls of lavender and gray.
Just as it emerges from the fog, Scott sees what it is heading for -- two suited people walking outside their vehicle. They seem unaware of the Promethean predator circling above them until a thin eerie scream pierces the air. Spiraling down with claws outstretched, the Angel veers off at the last minute to assault the vehicle, viciously slashing at its windows as if trying to tear it open. The people turn, becoming aware of their danger. Scott can see the bewilderment on their faces, as this normally reclusive predator turns to attack them.
How did it escape from the enclosure at the lab? he thinks. And why is the Angel attacking people? They usually only attack their native prey.
"Emergency! Emergency! Attack by an Angel!" shouts a hoarse male voice over his headset.
Sprinting through the last of the intervening rock spires, Scott readies his tranquilizer gun, takes aim, and fires. The dart hits the Angel in the neck.
God, I don't want my animal to hurt anyone.
"Stay where you are and wait for the tranquilizer to take effect!" he calls over the radio, just as the Angel turns, snarls and launches itself at him.
Section #6, Outline for Rest of Story: (336 words)
Beginning: A predator on planet Venus II, having been experimented upon by Dr. Don Scott, escapes and attacks people. He stops it and brings it back, but remains in denial that its increased intelligence has also caused self-awareness.
1/4: Due to financial pressure and his conviction that the Angels can be trained to defend the colonies, Scott continues his research. The animals refuse to eat their normal prey, they hide in the back of their enclosure which is dense with the native atmosphere and foliage, and then an assistant is killed when feeding them. Scott gets the animal back into its enclosure by wrestling it into an airlock. His assistants confront him, and he realizes the danger is greater than he'd thought.
Middle: The Angels escape from their enclosure entirely and are seen hovering about the lab. Their behavior is unquestionably aberrant. They attack the main entrance, flooding the building with poisonous atmosphere. In a pitched battle, an Angel and two people are killed. Trapped with two assistants in a barricaded kitchen, Scott confronts possible death, grieves the death of his friends, and agonizes over his role in causing his beloved Angels to become human-hating enemies.
3/4: He has an epiphany that the Angels have consciousness, and that they need freedom. By experimenting on them he has changed their basic nature and endangered his own kinds' future on this planet. Scott determines that he will do his utmost to save his friends and destroy the warped Angels. He sets the kitchen gas supply on a timer to explode the lab, and, putting on protective suits, he and the other two survivors arm themselves with knives.
Climax: Scott and his helpers summon up courage, make a break for it, and are attacked by the last two Angels as they flee through the damaged lab. Though one of his friends sacrifices his life to help the others escape, both animals are killed in the explosion, as Scott and his last friend fly away in their aircraft.
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Comments? Sunny Johnson