Ja’il Goes Tumbling After

Sunny Johnson, goldenwoman@hotmail.com
Writing Assignment 1
Short-short story, about 200 words
Lesson: Where to start (start with conflict between intercessor and workers) "Show Don’t Tell"
Title: Ja’il Goes Tumbling After


  1.     Antennas quivering with excitement, Ja’il put the finishing touches on the message capsule to be sent out for the day. Her multi-faceted amber eyes rested with pride on the cubicle she had been given, including the data processing and communications devices she was trusted to employ for the good of the hive. Suddenly her attention was distracted by loud and dissonant sounds of an argument behind the door of the alien Man’ar intercessor who was in charge of her hive.
  2.     The angry buzz increased in volume until the door flung open and out charged her co-worker Ji’ak, spewing an unpleasant cloud of vituperatives as he gathered up his things and stormed out. He would answer none of her questions, leaving the workroom tense with uncertainty.
  3.     "What could be going on?" wondered Ja’il. "I like Ji’ak and can’t think of any reason why he should be in trouble with the intercessor."
  4.     Her musings were broken off by the sudden quiet as all eyes rotated to note the intercessor smugly walking into the office. Her sensors detected the sour odor of fear in the workroom as the slick, beetle-like Man’ar beckoned for Ja’il to come into his office.
  5.     "Ji’ak’s work has been inadequate," announced the Man’ar blandly to Ja’il, "and I’ve kicked him out of the hive. I have notified my Man’arian superiors that the low production values were caused by Ji’ak, so they are going to keep us in their network of hives for now. I want you to take over Ji’ak’s responsibilities."
  6.     "I don’t know if I’d be able to do as much as he did," admitted Ja’il with some trepidation. "He covered areas of the hive I’m not even familiar with yet, as I’m new here."
  7.     "I will assign an experienced drone to assist you," assured the intercessor, rushing out of the office with his eyeshades at full obscurity.
  8.     It turned out that Ja’il was only able to speak briefly to her assigned drone, who was so overburdened with his own work that he scarcely responded to her questions. As she continued to do her work she noticed areas where efficiency could be improved, and took these ideas with enthusiasm to her intercessor, but he relayed the ideas to his Man’arian superiors without introducing her to them as he’d told her he would. Ja’il was so busy enjoying her daily work that she didn’t care too much; she was happy to be working for the good of all.
  9.     Working so busily on her own projects that she paid no attention when the intercessor brought a new fresh-out-of-the-egg worker to the office and asked her to train him - working so busily that she didn’t see how the intercessor watched and waited for her to make a mistake, putting obstacles in her way and then placing blame on her for his own mistakes.
  10.     She was such a happy little worker that she trusted the Man’ar. She didn’t see it coming that just as Ji’ak was pushed out of the hive, soon Ja’il came tumbling after.

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