Chris Mallory

379 words

bluemountn@angelfire.com

This is just the beginning of a short story and the skill I am attempting to demonstrate is "show, don’t tell."

  1. Rosamunde hit the hard-packed earth with a thud. Her lance, torn from her grasp by the fall, rolled several yards and came gently to rest against a dented shield left behind by one of the dragon’s previous assailants. Cecil, her bay gelding, stood at the far edge of the clearing, head stiffly raised in alarm, sides heaving. The sheen of sweat across his shoulders and flanks made his reddish-brown coat appear black in the late morning sun.
  2. "Are you injured, princess?" the dragon asked, tilting his head slightly to the right as he peered down at her. "I believe that was the eighth, ummm no, ninth time that you’ve fallen from your noble steed. Would you like my assistance to stand?"
  3. "No. . . I can manage just fine on my own, thank you." Just fine, yeah right, she thought. Rosamunde lay on her back, trying to blink the sweat out of her eyes. The dragon had miscounted. It was the eleventh time he had casually knocked her from the saddle. Well, maybe he was being polite, not pointing out what a failure as a rescuer she had turned out to be. Though the knights that had already tried to rescue Prince Baldrich hadn’t succeeded, either. The prince was still a captive.
  4. "Are you sure that you don’t require my help?" the dragon asked again, with something that almost sounded like concern to Rosamunde.
  5. "No! I mean. . . yes, I’m sure."
  6. Rosamunde raised her head from the unyielding ground, then carefully rolled over onto her side. Every muscle protested but at least in this position the hilt of her sword wasn’t digging into her ribs. By tomorrow she’d be so stiff she’d hardly be able to move at all.
  7. Grimacing, she got slowly to her knees, then stood. Rosamunde reached for her sword, flinching slightly as a twinge of pain went through her shoulder.
  8. "Dragon," she began as the sword slid free of the scabbard, "you’ve played with me long enough. You’ve bested all the king’s knights, but I will free Baldrich even if I die in the attempt." She gave the sword a little flourish.
  9. "Come now," the dragon chided gently. "No one’s going to die. If you’ve had enough exercise for now, maybe we can talk."

© 1999 Chris Mallory

Instructors Comments

Back