1.         She was dressed in black and the sheer dark veil that swayed in the breeze was unable to hide the tears that dripped like dew down her cheeks. Dark storm clouds billowed above as she leaned and placed two tiger lilies on the casket. A bolt of lightning tore the sky apart, followed by the rumbling of thunder. The ground shook and the skies released their tears as the casket was lowered. Her daughter stood beside her, gripping her mother's dress and holding onto the only security that was now left in her life.
   
2.         A year had passed and every Sunday she visited her husband's grave. Each time leaving two tiger lilies against his headstone. She felt her heart slowly dying with each visit. The love for life and the smile that she had always worn had left her. My darling, I think of the day you proposed. I had been ready to say yes for months and I silently waited, dreaming of the day you would ask. That night we held each other in our arms; snuggling together as the flames in the fireplace danced before us. I hear the tinkle of our wineglasses touching as our eyes look, smiling at each other. Feeling my body fall limp with desire each time your lips touched mine.
   
3.         Her shoulders sagged and her head lowered. I cannot continue to live without you my darling, and I hate you for leaving me alone.
   
4.         Leah looked at the headstone; the simple words etched so firmly in her mind: Douglas Boyd 1970 - 1999 He Gave His Life To Save The Lives of Others

5.         I remember the afternoon you rushed home. You were carrying flowers, a sapling and the tiniest baseball glove I had ever seen. You were so excited and I could see the sparkle of love that you had for me. We had talked about children, both of us wanting a boy and a girl. Each time we made love, we hoped that we would create a life that would be the best of both of us. That night you knew was the night that the magic of life would begin in my body. We planted the sapling in the backyard and it grew as the new life inside me grew. I wanted to give you the son we wanted but that will never be.
   
6.         The summer breeze tossed her hair gently over her shoulders, her fingers reaching up to wipe a tear away from her cheek. Leah's brown eyes were moist and her lips quivered, trying to hold back the sobs that had shaken her body each day. The flame of life sputtered and the sadness in her eyes reflected the pain that would not leave her.
   
7.         I held your hand so tight in the delivery room. I needed you there beside me. The look in your eyes and the gentle way you stroked the back of my hand eased away my pain. You cut the umbilical cord and you held our daughter in your strong arms. She looked like a doll that would be held and protected by you forever. She was not the son you wanted but I could tell that it didn't matter. Now she has nobody to protect her; nobody to call 'daddy'.
    
   
8.         Darren stood in the shade of a tree, looking with sadness at the rows upon rows of headstones. At each site there were flowers of every shape and color. He thought it ironic that such a sad place could be made to look so beautiful. The manicured lawns and the crosses lay witness to death and the broken hearts of the living.
   
9.         He was here once before. He was one of the living whose heart had been crushed by sorrow and guilt. Six months earlier he watched his hopes, dreams and happiness vanish under a mound of dirt. He walked along the path, moving closer to the wife he had adored and to the son that had filled him with glowing pride. Six months was a long time to shed the demons that haunted his days and left him wide-awake in sweat at nights. The days had become manageable but his nights were what he imagined hell to be. Sounds of his demons exploding to life; burning smells of destruction permeating his insides; flashes of light blinding him in terror.
   
10.         Darren was so afraid that he would lose the memories of his wife and son. Each day he would imagine his wife's smile, her laugh and the way she used to flick her hair over her ear. He thought of the times he had pushed his son on the swing, the times they had played with a baseball and the times they had just sat outside and been pals. Darren questioned why they were taken from him, even though he knew his question would never be answered. He did wonder if he would ever be able to love again and he held out the hope that one day his heart would pump his love and make his life complete once again.
    
11.         As he neared the resting-place of his wife and son, he looked up to see a lady at the next gravesite. She looked so frail, so burdened by the pain of loss. A small twig cracked under his foot and she looked over to him. He smiled and she looked away, startled by the warmness of his eyes and the gentleness of his lips. They stood in silence; each lost in their thoughts of the people that were only feet below them, yet never to be touched again.
    
12.         "Excuse me, Ma'am," he said. "My name is Darren."
    
13.         She turned her head slightly. "Mine is Leah," she whispered.
    
14.         "My wife and son are here," he said in a pained voice. "This is the first time I have come here since they were..."
    
15.         "My husband...I come here to visit my husband," she replied. A slight breeze made her long skirt billow around her legs and she crossed her arms over her breasts as a chill flowed through her. There was no sound, except for the slight brushing of leaves in the trees.
    
16.         The sweet perfume fragrance of the flowers reminded Darren of a tropical island and the scent of his wife. "Your flowers are beautiful. Did you know that the name 'tiger' refers to the spots on the petals?"
    
17.         Leah frowned slightly, not understanding him. "Pardon? Oh, sorry...the tiger lilies. My husband always brought me tiger lilies. I had four tiger lilies in my wedding bouquet. One for me, one for him and two for the children that we had dreamed of having."
    
18.         Darren looked to the two tiger lilies next to the headstone, "Are those for you and him?"
    
19.         She lowered her eyes, moist with tears. "Yes."
    
20.         A look of sadness crossed his face and he looked down at the grass, thinking of the small baseball glove that he had placed in his son's casket.
    
21.         Leah closed her eyes. "I do have a..." She stopped, the words of her daughter playing over and over in her mind. 'Where did daddy go? Will he ever come back? Please don't cry mommy, I love you.'
    
22.         Darren broke the silence. "I was driving our car. My wife and son were with me. We were visiting friends and they had asked us to stay the night but I said no. The roads were snow covered with icy patches. I saw a set of headlights coming towards us and as it neared, it slid into our lane." Darren was surprised at the ease with which his words flowed and the tenderness and compassion he saw in her eyes. "It happened so fast and there was nowhere to go. The sound of the metal crumpling still haunts me. The last words I heard from my wife were, 'Oh Darren, we are going to die...our son.'
    
23.         Leah felt the pain and hurt in his voice. "We argued the last morning I saw my husband. I feared that one day he would walk out the door and never return. When I saw the red car with the emblem of the fire department on it, my heart sank and at that moment I knew my husband was dead."
    
24.         Darren wiped a drop of perspiration from his eyebrow. "He was a brave and honourable man. When he spoke of you and your daughter his face glowed in pride."
    
25.         "Where did you know my husband from?" she asked
    
26.         "I am a firefighter as well. I worked at the same station as your husband for about six months before..."
    
27.         The warmness of her shimmering brown eyes seemed to harden into a frosty glaze of ice. She turned and stepped away.
    
28.         Darren lightly touched her shoulder, stopping her. He felt her body tremble and he wanted to hold her and comfort her. He wanted to take away her pain and bring the warmth of the sun back into her heart. He kept his hand on her shoulder and she turned to him. He spoke softly. "Leah, there are some people that put themselves in jeopardy to preserve the values that they believe and live by. Sometimes there are bad things that happen to good people." He lowered his hand to her elbow and they walked along the winding path.
    
29.         There was a wrought iron bench under a maple tree and they sat side by side. His hands rested on his lap and her hands rested delicately on her lap.
    
30.         "Your husband and I spoke one evening. Although we had not known each other long, it was one of those talks that only the closest of friends have. Doug said there were two things in life that he feared." He paused and shifted, his elbow resting on the back of the bench. "He feared the danger of the job but most of all he feared what would happen to you if he never returned home. But he also knew your strength Leah, and hoped that you would draw upon it."
    
31.         Leah looked at Darren. "Every time I hear a siren I think of my husband. Every time I smell smoke or see a flame I see my husband's face melting like wax." She could not hold back the flood of tears. "His helmet and his teeth were the only things they could use to identify him. His casket was closed and on top was a picture of him graduating as a firefighter. When he was buried I took that picture home and smashed it on the kitchen table. I tore it to pieces and threw it in the garbage and then I dug into the garbage and tried to put it all together again." She wiped her red wet eyes with the tips of her fingers. "I felt so cheated and haven't been able to put the pieces of my life back together."
    
32.         Darren reached for a handkerchief and was about to offer it to her but instead brought it up to her cheek. He touched her skin as gently as a feather drifting in a breeze. He brought his hand down and tightly gripped the cloth that held her tears. "Leah, you lost the treasure of your husband but he left you two precious gifts. One was the memory of him that you will have forever and the other is a daughter that your love and dreams created."
    
33.         Leah felt his words and drew in her breath. When she breathed out some of her pain drifted up and away. She rose and walked to the grave, picking up the tiger lilies. "I think Douglas would want these in our house to brighten up my life and our daughter's life."
    
34.         Darren and Leah walked down the path, their hands touching for a brief moment. "Perhaps my husband left a third gift," she said.
    
35.         "What is that?" he questioned.
    
36.         A gentle smile formed across her lips and his heart fluttered when she simply said. "You."

Copyright 1999 by Greg Anderson. All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by an electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the permission of Greg Anderson.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.