3 Stars

Michele Bardsley

I'm the Vampire, That's Why

Signet

ISBN 0-451-21937-6

2006

Narrated in the first person in an entertainingly sharp-edged, colloquial style, this novel begins with single mother Jessica's death at the fangs of a monster that attacks her while she's taking out the garbage. Ancient Irish vampire Patrick saves her by allowing her to suck blood from his thigh. Not surprisingly, an instant, intense sexual attraction springs up between Patrick and Jessica. He thinks she is his destined mate because she wears an antique ring, a family heirloom that carries magic from his own lineage. She resists the bond because she doesn't think uniting with Patrick for the requisite hundred years would be fair to her children and because the disastrous end of her marriage (her husband died in a traffic accident after leaving her for a younger woman) has left her wary of forming a new commitment. Her attacker, Patrick's brother, transformed into a monster by an attempted lycanthropic cure of a deadly vampire disease, bites numerous other women in the small town of Broken Heart in the same night. It transpires that another monster is prowling around, one who doesn't share Patrick's brother's essentially gentle nature. Moreover, a vampire consortium has chosen Broken Heart, Oklahoma, as the site of a new community in which vampires and other supernatural creatures can live in safety apart from human society. In effect, the town is being taken over by vampires, who didn't expect the complication of a group of newly-turned single mothers. For example, they have to explain to the children what has happened to their mothers and set up a school to operate under these unique conditions. Vicious rival vampires, as well as revelations about her ex-husband's second wife and her own family background, complicate Jessica's adjustment to this situation.

Bardsley makes creative use of authentic Irish legends in the background of this story. Erotic scenes between Patrick and Jessica are vividly realized. Jessica's overriding concern for her children makes her a sympathetic character, and her narrative voice is engaging. My one big reservation about this novel stems from something that isn't entirely, if at all, the author's fault. I know in mass market publishing the author has no control over the cover and usually little input into it. Still, I can't help being swayed by this book's misleading cover. It's a delightful cartoon-style illustration of a vampire woman in a long, white apron with the title on its front. Cupcakes with little bat decorations sit on the counter behind her. The title (which, unlike the illustration, might well be the author's choice) reinforces this impression, as does the front cover blurb, "It's hard enough getting your kids to listen to you when you're alive." In short, I expected a lighthearted, even humorous treatment of the heroine's adjustment to undeath in the context of suburban family life. My first disappointment was the introduction of the "vampires fall into a coma throughout the daylight hours" trope, which I've never liked because I find it too confining, and in this case, it limits Jessica's interaction with her children, who therefore aren't onstage much. Rather than the "mom-lit" approach the cover implies, the story turns out to be fairly dark. True, there are funny moments, and the narrator's voice keeps the tale from becoming depressing. But my enjoyment of the novel as published couldn't help being diluted by my regret for the novel I wished she'd written and didn't. I will probably buy the sequel, DON'T TALK BACK TO YOUR VAMPIRE, anyway. I like the concept of a small town taken over by vampires and human children having to adjust to living in this environment with vampire mothers. Still, I think the cover does a disservice to the book, because those who don't like humorous vampire fiction may mistakenly pass it by, and those who expect a lighthearted story may feel cheated.

Reviewed by Margaret L. Carter